Sometimes Your Mental Grit Needs a Little Help

I think it was about mile 60 or 65 of my 30 Hour, 100 Mile Race called the Forbidden Forest when the idea for this blog came to me. Except at that moment, the title was going to be something along the lines of Showing Mental Grit in Failure. I had a major setback in the wee hours of the night after my crew had left for a well-earned rest. At first in the evening things were going well and I was completing my loops and was on pace to finish with time to spare and get to test my theory on the power of the mind.

At last year’s race I had finished with time to spare and could have finished another lap.  Yet when I went into my last loop, the energy from my body seemed to drain and I “settled” for the 100 mile finish.  I had been strong up to that point but knowing that I had my “100 Mile Buckle” my mind gave out before the body. For this race I wanted to see if I added one more lap to my goal if would my mind stay strong doing an extra lap.

After midnight, I had other mental grit issues to worry about. Like “Could mental grit defeat digestive issues in an ultra-marathon?”  My early opinion was that it was no match. When you are throwing up it is not “mind over matter”, especially when the matter is coming out of your mouth.

It had been an extremely hot and muggy day and I could see that many of the runners were struggling. I know it was getting to me. It was most definitely getting to my stomach. While I could easily hold down my fluids and fresh fruit (consisting of grapes, watermelon, and strawberries), I was having a harder time with the proteins.  They did not taste right but somehow in small portions I could take them. My crew, which consisted of my daughter Lisa, my wife Patty, my niece Anna and my friend Anthony, were constantly trying to get me to take in calories. (I should add that it was by far the best crew at the race! They helped not only me, but Dave, who was another friend running the race, in addition to several other runners. (Which means that I should have listened better to them)

I could feel my energy ebb after midnight and knew I had to consume more calories. I decided to take my time and try to eat slowly and stop more often. This was time consuming, but I believed in the long run (pun intended) that it would help. My plan was falling apart, as was my race. With each stop I could barely get down any solid food down except fresh fruit. As I was eating a small thin slice of chicken, my stomach revolted completely and I hurled! I was completely out of sorts. I decided to take a nap which lasted about 40 minutes to ease my body.

My mental grit was being tested. I was completely alone! Even Dave and Anthony were gone. Dave had pulled out of the race after a bad fall and Anthony was taking care of him.

Somehow, at 4AM I started running again but I had lost a lot of time. My legs felt strong but I had limited energy because I had not eaten. I would try and hold on until my crew arrived. I started eating fruit just to keep me going. I sent a desperate text to my wife and niece that I was not in great shape and if they could bring chicken soup. In my poor state of mind however, I forgot to hit send.

I was doing the math in my head about how many miles I had left and how much time I had to get to 100 miles. While my math skills diminished precipitously with each mile I ran, I soon realized that while it was possible to finish my goal, I had a lot of work to do. I needed to get miles in before my crew started to arrive at around 7:30AM.  I was hoping to get to 70 miles by 7:00AM. That would leave me seven and a half hours to do a 50k.  Which I normally could do easily, but this would be my third 50k in a row so I was not sure how it would go.

I decided that no matter what, I would keep going. If I didn’t get the 100 miles so be it. It just wasn’t my day.  I was listing my excuses as I ran: the heat affected me, I had digestive issues, other runners were dropping out. In fact, I saw many runners packing up. I thought I would just ease up and get between 80-90 miles. I was not only fighting the heat and terrain, but I was fighting myself. I had always prided myself on my grit and determination and even other runners would complement me on my determination. I liked to think of myself as somewhat of a badass. Yet the fire was not blazing now. It was more like hot embers with no flame.

I needed my crew but was a little nervous to see them because before they had left I was going strong but I had lost my confidence. A badass is always confident. The first to arrive were Anthony and Dave. Anthony  as usual, was beaming with positivity but I was trying to be realistic. It was good however to have his positive energy.

Next came my daughter Lisa and her boyfriend PJ, Patty, and my niece Anna. Anna was going to pace me. I was a little worried about that because she was just recovering from a severe leg injury and she was not used to running on trails. I had twenty-five miles to cover and plenty of time, if I was fresh. I was not fresh. I kept saying it is going to be close and that I may not do it. Anna was positive and said let’s not think about that let’s just run and see what happens. I had seen how she had talked to her own kids about issues and her tone and calmness with me was pretty much how she would address a pouty nine-year old.

My pace with her was slightly faster and to make up time I said I would run two loops and then stop. She was very attentive to my pace and discussed what I would need at the next stop. As I mentioned, Anna was recovering from a serious leg injury and had never run more than seven miles so I only expected her to do one or two of the 2.23 mile loops. My wife and I kept asking her if she wanted to go again and she said yes. She ended up running 19 miles with me!

We were having great conversations ranging from why we run, to my children, to her social life as a single parent. The more we ran together the stronger and better I felt. She would communicate with the crew when we came in. Anthony would pop in as well joining us with his never-ending energy. It seemed like he was the unofficial pacer for half the runners. I know that he personally got several runners to the finish line.

Then along our run while I was passing people we came upon Kate who was a few laps ahead of me and she was walking. She had it the bag though. She said she thought she only had to do 43 laps but found out it really 44 and was a bit bummed.  “What! I thought I had to do 45 loops!” I said to myself, now there was a glimmer of hope. I picked my pace. If I was not going to get to 44 loops I would get as close as possible.

I was the only one running hard. Most of the runners had either finished the run or were taking victory laps, and some knew the 100 miles was not possible. Their fates were sealed. Mine was not. I had to do my fastest pace since the beginning of the race. After 90 miles in the humid weather this was not easy physically or mentally.  Yet the attitude of the crew kept my dream alive despite my tamping of their enthusiasm. My time with Anna also brought back my mental grit and I was not going to miss the 100 miles without giving an all-out effort.

When I finished loop 41, the timer* yelled out to me that “I had to average 33 minutes a loop to do it.” At that point I decided to go for broke. I left Anna behind.   When I completed the 43^rd lap the timer in a state of shock yelled “That was 26 minutes! Wow!” I looked up and saw that I had a little over an hour left to finish the last loop.  Plenty of time.

I could feel that my body was near its limits with the heat, the mileage, and the high speed. Anthony was with me for most of the last lap but then we came upon a limping runner on her last lap. I went on alone because I wanted to finish strong and she needed his help more than me. I did not need someone to motivate me at this point I was so determined to finish. About a third of a mile from the finish Anna was on the trail.  I was flying (flying is a relative term at this point) on this part of the trail and she tried to get ahead of me to warn the crew that I was coming. I slowed down a bit so they could all get to the finish line but they had little time.

When I crossed the finish line, I collapsed. I had never run so hard before after so many miles. I even stated to my crew “That it may have been the hardest thing I had ever done.” I had never had to run my hardest at the end of an ultra to beat a time clock.

Mike, who was a fellow runner from Massachusetts who we had all befriended said to me “Man you had fire in your eyes. I wouldn’t want to meet you in a dark alley!” Yes, I had a fire in my eyes but it was through the help of Anna, Anthony and the whole crew that took those smoldering embers of determination and grit and turned it into a blaze.

I learned some valuable lessons on this run about mental grit.

First, I had always thought that mental grit meant persevering and moving forward and fighting through the obstacles such as the weather and the terrain. It was a fixed amount, but I found out on this race it fluctuates.  It rises and sinks depending on the conditions and sometimes certain conditions start to drain your determination.

Second, having the right supportive people around you makes a difference and can help restore your determination. My crew and especially Anna really refocused me to the task at hand.

Anna was with me during my down period, when I had some doubt as to whether I was going to be able to do this. She observed my transformation. She remarked: “Isn’t it amazing what you can achieve when you go all out?” Yes it is!!  It is even more amazing when you have people like her, my wife, Lisa, PJ, Anthony, Dave and our new friend Mike believing in you. It is funny, my first thought about this blog was about going all out and failing. Even if I had not made it I still realize how lucky I am. I am surrounded by people who truly believe in me and who nurture my determination and grit.

Third and maybe most important. The test of your grit is when you are at your lowest. For me it was at 4AM when I was alone and knew that I my body was in trouble and I probably was not going to make it. My fire was not burning but I still had some smoldering embers so it was not out and I decide to keep moving. That decision helped set up the strong finish.

As Anna said Isn’t it amazing what you can achieve when you go all out?” sometimes you may even surprise yourself.

*The timer came up to me after I finished and said “I lied to you. You didn’t need to average 33 minutes to make it, but closer to 38-39 minutes. I wanted to push you. He also said “at your pace you have time for another lap!” He was right but just like last year my mind had given out so I was done. I guess I proved my point.

World's best crew.

Running with Guilt and Butterflies

It was a couple of days after I had finished running the length of New Jersey from the top, the High Point Monument in the Northwest corner of the state, to the Cape May Lighthouse in the Southeast an almost two hundred mile journey. I was pretty proud of myself. After all not too many people could accomplish that feat especially at the age of 62. Yet it was not lost on me that my crew team was lead by Ian Hockley. Ian had become a good friend and I loved him like a brother but I wish I had never met him and that I didn’t know him. Ian’s son Dylan was one of the twenty students lost in the Sandy Hook school shooting. I met him through work when he was a keynote speaker at our convention. This uneasy feeling rose up again after the school shooting in Uvalde, Texas. School shootings are senseless acts of violence.

Yet I can’t shake the pangs of guilt I have about enjoying my run and sharing laughs and even a drink with Ian knowing the relationship is all built on a senseless death. Even my running partner for the New Jersey run, Anthony, was built on school shootings. I did not know Anthony but a mutual friend Tom introduced us. Tom and I had collaborated numerous times on school security programs for school districts to prepare them for a school shooting.

My achievement and joy was in many ways built on senseless deaths of students. I know if I had the power I would trade my achievement away to bring back the lives of any students or teachers who were victims in a school shooting.

Robb Armstrong, Ian Hockley, myself, and Anthony Certa before starting our New Jersey Run.

In a conversation with a reporter before the run it was brought up that I was attempting something that few people could do. I acknowledged that fact, but added “That is true but Ian is doing something that I don’t think I could do. He is taking his pain and anger and focusing his energy on building something positive for kids.” I am not sure I could do that if it was my son or daughter that was killed so tragically. I like to think that I would but I am not sure. I could easily direct my energy on issues that anger me. What he is doing is more amazing.

Like a lot of runners I will regularly run for a charity. This run was also a fundraiser for Ian’s charity Dylan’s Wings of Change. They do social emotional learning programs in schools trying to improve a schools climate and culture.

As I ponder my conflicting feelings I thought of the mantra that governs Dylan’s Wings of Change. It is the Butterfly Effect. Which is how just small changes can accumulate with massive effect. Like a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a hurricane winds across the world.  It was inspired by Dylan’s mom seeing him flapping his arms when he was young and asking him what he was doing. He said that he was a butterfly.

While Dylan’s Wings of Change focuses on kids, the Butterfly Effect goes beyond kids. It effected me there is no way I could have finished or even attempted the run without Ian and Anthony not to mention Robb who is also affiliated with Dylan’s Wings of Change. So that small boy flapping his wings many years ago led to a 62 year old man pushing himself to his limits and running 196 miles.

Even during the run I felt the Butterfly Effect.  Friends, family, and even strangers came out to cheer Anthony and I on. They also donated to Dylan’s Wings of Change. They liked the idea that an individual was pushing himself to his limits for a good and positive cause. One woman even said that to me at a crowd that was gathered to greet us. “It was so good to see something so positive and uplifting.” I think that she was also alluding to the negative news that seems to all around us these days.

It was a bit overwhelming emotionally when you are feeling the power of the Butterfly Effect. The last few miles of the journey, I was very ineffectively trying to hold back tears.

It is also very overwhelming emotionally to observe another school shooting on the news. It also saddens me that our government seems incapable and some might even say unwilling to do anything about it. What can an individual do in this situation especially when the government is inept?

We can start small.  The Butterfly Effect does not demand large acts but small acts of kindness and positive energy. In our own community, we can start something that improves the climate and culture of our local schools. Obviously making all our kids having a safe space is important and maybe if we can prevent one troubled youth to seek help that will make a huge difference.

I also find that when a group of people start practicing acts of kindness it tends to build on itself and multiply to others. So, I do not see any downside to spreading kindness. Ian has modeled this by enriching students and adults lives, including mine with his relentless positive actions.

I know that for some reason mentioning anything to do with gun reform is a nonstarter for some people, but I am sure everyone would want a system that keeps guns out of the hands of people with mental and emotional problems.

If we all do a little, maybe we can prevent even unknowingly a senseless act of violence. In a strange way, it might be the only time preventing future friendships is a good thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

An Old and Tired Man went for a Reluctant Run and Came Back Young and Energized

It was a tiring week of work with long hours and meetings at night with a lot of driving. The pandemic felt like history and I was back on the hamster wheel going full speed at work. I was so tired both mentally and physically that I had taken an extra day off from my morning running routines.  As I woke that Friday morning, I was exhausted. In fact, I was not really awake, I was more in a walking stupor.  I looked at the clock and knew I had time to get in a good run before work but I was not feeling in the mood. I was contemplating taking another “rest” day.  What really seemed appealing to me was sitting in my chair with a cup of coffee scrolling through my phone. After all, I had put in a lot of hours this week, I deserved to do nothing at all. It was time to recharge my batteries. I not only did not want to run but I was not very enthusiastic about going to work either.

I however have an obsessive habit of charting my runs and hate to have too many blank days so I compromised with the two entities battling in my brain.  I would just do a short run of four miles. Even though this was a day, I should do at least twice that distance.  I reluctantly put on my running gear and headed out the front door.  I live at the top of the hill so the first three quarters of a mile is mostly downhill which should make for an easy start but I was not feeling it, but I trudged on. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. I needed to get some miles in.

A strange and funny thing happened as I was running by the lake in my neighborhood at mile two.  Almost exactly at the moment my Garmin vibrated that I was at mile two I noticed that my lethargy was completely gone and my somewhat dour disposition was replaced with a more positive almost euphoric mindset. I continued on past the lake in which I was a member, and when I got to the turn to at which I would veer and start my return back home for a four mile run I flew by it and headed in the opposite direction which was the route up and downhills for my eight plus mile run.

As I came upon the end of the road with only a left turn to make that would take me back home for an eight and a half mile run I didn’t want to stop so I turned right.  That would leave me with an eleven mile run and barely enough time to get to work on time. I was okay with pushing it and leaving only minutes to get to work because I was no longer the same tired and unenthusiastic person who left my house.  I was energetic and actually looking forward to doing my work. That was until my cellphone rang and it was my boss so I had to take the call even though it was before I started work. (I will admit that I debated answering the phone and may not have answered it if I was only a mile from home but I still had almost four miles left so I answered it.) In any case I dealt with the issue and finished an eleven mile run.

Yet that eleven mile run did not tire me one bit. It actually energized me. I was also enthusiastic about my work and had a great day at work.  That run had changed my entire day. While I am an avid runner, to a small degree I had taken running for granted. It was just part of my fitness routine but this run reminded me that exercise and running provide more than just fitness they affect my mood and my energy. It actually makes me a better employee. (I am thinking of asking my association to fund my race entry fees as professional development! Which led to this humorous blog)

The following day my sister called and I knew that her work, like mine, was crazy and she was putting in long hours this month.  As she talked, I could not only feel her exhaustion over the phone but I also sensed that her goal was just to make it through the week. As we talked about our crazy work schedules, she admitted how tired she was. She finally said to me “I don’t know how you can do all those events (races and runs) with your work?”   I was going to respond that “I can do all those things because I run.” but just remained quiet and listened. That was my role in this conversation.

While to a nonrunner like my sister, who lives a busy life, adding in a running or any exercise routine into their schedule may seem exhausting.  It is actually the opposite.  It adds energy and positivity to your day.  You find a way to fit your run (It can be any exercise not just running.) because without it you are tired.

I realized that my exhaustion and tiredness that week was not physical in nature.    No, it was more a mental exhaustion. Though, it had definitely slowed me down physically. I had made a mistake earlier in the week by taking an “extra” rest day from my runs. I had acted like a nonrunner and sat on my butt mindlessly surfing the internet. The break from my running routine had only added to my weariness.

A few days later, I was at a meeting featuring a speaker on mental health and dealing with stress. During the presentation, she stressed the importance of self-care. Then to my surprise, she stated that she knew I was a good example of someone who practiced self-care through my running. I had never told her I was a runner but we were friends on Facebook so she saw my running posts. I had never looked at running as self-care but after that one morning run and the conversation with my sister, it made sense. There are numerous studies that confirm this but it is always better to experience things first hand than just read about them.

Despite knowing this is self-care, it is not always easy taking that first step out the door, especially on a cold day. Yet the man who comes back after a run is always a happier, more energetic and positive man than the one who took that first step. I am positive I am not the only runner who feels that way.

Tax Breaks and Workplace Benefits for Runners is Good Government Policy

One morning at the end of a long week at work, I was dragging, and almost eschewed my morning run but I forced myself out the door and did it.  By the time, I got back to my front door I was a new man.  I had my energy back as well as my enthusiasm and I attacked my work with new vigor.  In fact, while I was running I solved a few work issues in my head and was eager to accomplish them. I was a bit irked that during my run I was solving work issues on my own time, without any compensation from my employer. That was when the first inkling of the idea that running was not just a personal fitness activity but that it affected my performance at work as well. It actually made me a better employee and that maybe I should be financially compensated for my running? 

No matter what your job is, there is training involved.  Professional development is oftentimes required.  Frankly much of it is a waste of time and does little to improve our productivity at work. If my runs or races were defined as job related I could be compensated for them?

The idea of my employer viewing my races as professional development had a lot of merit. (At least to me it did.)  I however needed to really flesh the idea out and look at it from all perspectives not just my own selfish interests (and the self interest of my fellow runners) .  So I did what I would do to develop any great idea – I went for a run.  That run did it and more! I came up with this three point plan that will get America’s economy humming, improve workplace teamwork, make Americans healthier, and even improve family life.  I am now making room in my den for my Nobel Peace Prize. Now I know that some of you are snickering and are very doubtful of my idea but I just ask that read it first, along with the rationale then you can criticize it.

All Employers Should Reimburse Runners for their Races – As any runner can attest running makes you a happier person with more energy and enthusiasm. I am sure that like me, other runners have had their runs renew their energy and enthusiasm not just at home but at work. Finishing a race brings this energy and enthusiasm to another level so it should be considered professional development. Think about how much better your work relationships would be if we ran together.  It would increase our productivity.

We all know that for all of those useless sessions and online classes you have taken at work, you have to sign in to attendance sheets or if online answer questions and submit the results. This is to verify that you took the course.  Now I am big on verification and do not want just any run counted as professional development, it needs to be a sanctioned race.   For our race verification the employee would be required to wear the race t-shirt and their finisher medal to work. If your boss wants you to turnkey your experience they could ask you to recap your race which I know all runners could do easily.

I am a fiscal conservative so this reimbursement should be limited to twelve races, one a month.

Health Plans Should Cover Running Watches and Other Running Gear – Many current health plans give discounts and other incentives as part of their “wellness” push, if you join a fitness center.  The obvious incentive is that numerous studies prove that exercise leads directly to better health. While I have nothing against fitness centers, they are not for everyone. What about those of us who run on our own? We deserve something as well. So I propose that the healthcare plans cover the purchase of our running watches. After all, even if you join a fitness center there is no tracking of your workouts.  My Garmin practically records all my movement and activities. It tells me my heart rate, my distance, steps, when to move, and I am sure that down the road it will also monitor my bowel movements. (I am waiting for the alert to pop up one day after sitting on the toilet during my morning ritual saying “Great Job! Stay Regular!)

I would not limit this coverage to just the watches but am open to other runner gear like hydration packs might also be included because after all proper hydration is essential to good health.

Travel Expenses to Races Should be Tax Deductible – This recommendation is really not for the runners per say but for the local businesses at race locations.  It is really a stimulus package to encourage runners to travel further for races and maybe stay in a hotel and spend money at the local eateries. I see numerous races that I would like to enter but the travel costs are what keep me from signing up.  This little change could help so many businesses like the airline industry, hotels, campgrounds, and restaurants.

Now some of you may think that I am just a runner who is looking to recoup some of the large sums of money I have spent on my running.  The truth is that I am proposing this to make the United States a better country and if it just so happens to help me financially that is just an unintended consequence that I am willing to live with.  Here are the five benefits to our country.

1)      First our workforce would be fitter and more energized at work, taking less sick days. As a result making the country more productive and increasing our GNP.

2)      The race promoters and local businesses would benefit by the spending of the runners, thus helping small businesses.

3)      Charities would surely benefits since so many of them use races to raise funds for their great causes.

4)      American families would become stronger! Why? Some runners like me are married to nonrunners and sometimes there are questions asked about certain bills that come in about my racing and running purchases. (I mean how am I supposed to remember all those purchases? I am busy tracking my mileage) If my employer reimbursed me for my races or if my trip to run a race in Italy was tax deductible, I would not get guff about my expenses from my wife.  The result a happier family.

5)      Finally, runners live in red and blue states, and come in all political persuasions, so this would unite the country politically.

Now obviously I suspect that my fellow runners will support me in this endeavor but I am a political realist and realize we need the support of nonrunners as well.  When a nonrunner questioned my idea and said “What about the majority of us who don’t run?” I responded that I am willing to compromise and believe that you are eligible for these incentives if you volunteer at a race or at least crew a runner. After all, if you don’t run, the least you can do is help a runner.  It is your patriotic duty.

By the way I need these law changed soon. Very soon. I just signed up for a couple of races and bought a new watch and my wife has not seen the bill yet. So if anyone knows a powerful congressman or woman let me know.

The Five Essential Keys to Staying on Course on a Trail Race and not Getting Lost

"I'm not lost for I know where I am. But where I am may be lost." 

Winnie the Pooh 

Sometimes when I run, it feels so good that I am almost lost in the euphoria.  This was one of those moments.  I was on a new half marathon trail race and was in a good stride cruising downhill through the forest. There is not a better feeling for me than running in nature carefree and loving Mother Nature.  Nothing could break this euphoric feeling I was positive.  Then I looked around and saw no trail markers and said to myself “where the f@#!& are the trail markers! Oh crap am I lost again?” I turned around and looked uphill and saw another runner coming down the hill.  Thank God, I thought to myself.  When she came up to me I said “Where is the trail?” She looked at me with a perplexed look on her face “I have no idea I was just following you!”  I was a little miffed I mean we are lost and it is my fault but could you somehow make me not feel so stupid! I regained my composure and said “You made a big mistake.”

I looked around.  We could go back uphill but I was not really liking that option.  I scanned the forest and luckily it was mature forest with the trees spread apart and I spied another runner not far from us.  He was moving slowly but steadily. He at least looked like he knew where he was going.  When we met up with him he showed us the trail blazes.  It was slow going.  The trail was not a well-worn path and all three of us spent our time searching for the next trail blaze.

In that few minutes, when I realized that I had missed a marker, thought another runner could help only to find we were lost together, yet to recover with the aid of another runner I had experienced three of the five essential keys of trail racing about staying on course.  Two were broken and one was followed.

In my work, I have driven to every corner of my home state of New Jersey, and I pride myself on my great sense of direction. I do not having to rely on some GPS APP to get me to a destination.  Yet on trail races I have not been as fortunate.  I have made wrong turns, stopped and backtracked because I am sure I must have missed a turn, often I slow up, because I am nervous that I have not seen a race marker in a longtime and begin to question myself.

So, if you are a trail runner who has experienced a few mishaps of losing your way than these essential keys will make your race more pleasurable.  If you are a road runner thinking about doing a trail race you can use this as a guide so that you are better prepared.

1)      Pay Attention! -  As runners we all love being in the zone.  The running feels free and easy. It is almost mindless and meditative.  That is fine on your regular training runs but not in a trail race. That was my first mistake in my example.  You must always be on the lookout for trail markers or ribbons, whatever the race is using to guide the racers.  Seems easy but as you run on uneasy terrain you also have to look down or you might take a header. Like me if you might miss a slight turn because the path seems to go straight. The forest is full of false trails and unmarked trails. I always tell people who are road runners, that are doing a trail race that you have to assume that your pace will be slower because of the terrain. I always forget to tell them it will be slower because sometimes you have to stop and ask for directions.  Even the best runners make mistakes. Elite ultra-trail runner Jim Walmsley famously got lost while leading the pack in the Western States 100 because he flew by a turn because he was running so fast.  (Not an excuse I can use.)

2)      Do Not Follow Anyone Blindly – That was the woman’s mistake who followed me.  We tend to assume that all the other runners know where they are going.  Sometimes you like their pace and they are almost like your personal pacer. I was in a trail race where the lead pack made a wrong turn not even half a mile into the race but luckily someone just behind them kept on the right route but they were rather embarrassed. I will also note that this is good advice for life in general. Do not follow anyone blindly.

3)      Group Think is Helpful – This is what happened when we came upon the third runner.  Even though he was on course it was a difficult trail to follow and our pace was slow in large part because we had to always pause, before we found the next trail marker. This has happened to me in a race in Utah in which the terrain was comprised of slick rock and was up and down so it was difficult finding the trail ribbons.  There were four of us running and pausing and it was much faster to have four pair of eyes searching for the next ribbon than just one. See the next rule for another bonus to group think.

4)      Listen to the Race Director – Before every race the race director will describe the course and how it is marked. He or she will also describe maybe some tricky parts of the course. Almost all, of which you will completely forget when you start running. You will come upon a spot with two colored trails and you can’t remember if he said stay on the red trail or leave the red trail by the lake? This is where group think can be helpful because if there are four of you in cluster there is better chance that one person remembers. In addition, if they are an experienced race director they will say it in such a way, that it leaves you with the distinct knowledge only a complete dolt would get lost.  This of course will make you feel even worse when you go off trail. You are not only lost but you are obviously a dolt.

5)      Everything looks the Same and Different – It is amazing especially in shorter races that the terrain you are running on all looks the same whether it is a dense forest or desert floor you may run a few miles without any distinguishing landmarks like a mountain view or a lake. So if you go off course you may not know it right away.  Many races use ribbons (Pink is a favorite color) and I always get nervous when it seems like a longtime since I saw ribbon. On that race in Utah as we were running through the slick rock one of the runners said “Are we going in circles? This looks familiar.” We were not going in circles but they were right it all looked the same. I have seen people go off course on a loop trail race and not on the first loop either. I stopped one racer on an endurance race from going the wrong way and we had already been running this short two and quarter mile loop for five hours!

It is also amazing how the same trail can look completely different.  Just try reversing your normal trail run and see how different it is. In addition, if you are doing a race and it includes running at night the same trail looks completely different in the dark guided only by a headlamp. In fact, that is what inspired this blog when I posted a short video about running overnight and looking for markers a few fellow racers posted that they had gotten lost at night even though they had run the loop many times before.

Hey, look despite all my wise advice, things happen.  On one race I was on I caught up to the lead pack because someone had stolen all the trail ribbons for about two thirds of a mile including coming to a junction. Leaving us to guess which direction to go because none of us could remember what the race director had said about this junction.  Unless you are doing the Barkley or some other crazy race you will survive getting lost.  If you are like me with no hope of winning it is a nuisance but not the end of the world. Enjoy a great day running in Mother Nature with other trail runners.  Things really don’t get much better than that.  Even when I was lost with other runners we all enjoyed a good laugh and made fun of each other. It is always reassuring to know that you are not the only dolt in the race.

Ultra Races Finding Supportive People in an Unsupportive World

I was once again finishing another of my 3.25 mile trail loop runs on my 24 Hour Endurance Ultra when Elise was finishing her last loop and calling it a day.  She had achieved her goal and had other brutal races coming up so she was saving her body for them. A smart move.  As I continued on she yelled out to Lou the race director “Ray is crushing this course!”  Lou responded “Keep going Ray!” I smiled and made a wise remark that I can’t remember. If a total stranger had observed our banter, they would have assumed that we were three old friends meeting up for our one, of many races. They would be wrong.  I knew Elise less than 24 hours and this was the second time that I had met Lou. 

That is the magic of running races particularly ultra-trail races. It is a place in which trust, support, and friendships are built almost instantaneously.  A place in which everyone is striving to improve and push themselves. A place in which you feel pain, misery, happiness, and pride all at the same time. A place in which everyone is cheering and supportive of each other. A place that stands out in this ever increasingly divided and politically polarized world. Because it is a place of solidarity and unity.

An ultra-trail race may be the most egalitarian place I know.  You are judged in very simple terms. By your running ability and your positive attitude.  All the runners know the elite runners and marvel at their ability to run not just extremely long distances but at a fast pace.  Yet even us mediocre runners get praise because we are pushing our bodies and our minds to it limits and everyone knows it. It is an unwritten rule as well, that everyone is encouraging to each other. As I run and an elite runner is either lapping me or on their way back from a loop that I am just starting, they almost always say “looking strong” to me even though I am racing like a Kia to their Jaguar. Cheerfulness is always valued as we all push ourselves.

The other thing that is amazing is that I have no idea of anyone’s socio-economic status as we run.  Our running gear camouflages our social status.  I don’t know if someone is a wealthy doctor, lawyer or someone who struggling to make their rent payment. It is so nice that people are not judged by where they live or how much money they make but on their ability and their friendly personality.

I can’t think of a truer reflection of the American ethos than the ultra-race scene.  You are strictly judged on your ability, your effort, and your positive attitude towards others. That’s it. Not on who you vote for. Not how wealthy you are. Not on your race or religion. It is truly a community and that includes the race directors and the volunteers.

Okay I will admit that most of us are a little quirky and our family and friends will attest to that.  After all who else but a slightly quirky person pays to run for 24 hours?

(A shared fire at a race)

On most of my ultra-trail races I have made not only friends but having a shared experience of getting through a struggle with someone. In my first ultra a 50 mile run two woman Denise and Jen joined me and we survived the ordeal together. In a 50k my new friend Fletch and I made it to the end despite his muscles seizing up. In another 50k Scott and I battled for a mile or two bringing out the best in each other. In my 100 mile run Ilene moved on her crutches inspiring me to push myself while Celeste persevered through digestive issues to finish with a personal long.  Besides Elise on this 24 Hour Race Felipe and Dave were two runners who I saw often and we all pushed each other.  All these people and more, inspired me to push on and I hope that in some way I returned that favor.

Elise and I ran only one of our loops together and as we chatted, she told me why she ran ultras and asked why I did.  I mentioned how I love to push myself to its limits and how great it feels to finish one.  How when you finish one you feel that you can do anything. Yet I knew my answers were missing something.

I don’t know if Elise will read this but now I know the rest of the answer. I forgot to tell her that I love the people at an ultra-trail race.  I love meeting people like her and all the others I mentioned, plus many others. It is inspiring to be around people pushing themselves to their limits.  Okay maybe we are a little quirky but that endears them even more to me. I know that this sounds corny but I know that on some of these races when things got very difficult I know that if something bad happened I could truly count on my running colleagues (That once again includes the race directors and race volunteers.) to keep me going.

Now I know that this sounds even cornier but to me it is truly an honor to run an ultra with these other runners.  They are people who are giving it their all even if they fall short, people who are nonjudgmental, people who are tough, and people who are inspiring. I am truly a better person for having met all these people.

When I got back from my race and told my wife about my experiences. She said it sounds like you enjoyed my time with “your people”.  Yes that is one more reason I do trail races, to be with “my people”. My wife meant it more to make fun of me and all the other quirky runners. Yet to me it is a badge of honor to be with these quirky people. Because in a world where everyone seems ready to pounce on you for anything it is good to go to a place where everyone is ready to pounce on you with a smile and positive support. They are my kind of people.

An Aging Runner Trying to Push Back his Cutoff Time

I was sitting in my living room reading with my wife when both our cellphones beeped with a text message. It was not a happy message. A friend of ours was diagnosed with cancer and the prognosis was grim.  In recent months, we have had a family member suffer a heart attack and another pass away from COVID. Welcome to our life as over sixty year olds.  

Those who are in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s may not understand the slight difference but as you age the conversation in your circle of friends and family starts to shift and people’s health becomes a larger portion of the conversation.

How did I cope with the news? The next morning I signed up for a difficult trail half marathon and a short while later I signed up for a 24 Hour endurance run.  I know that is not normal coping method in dealing with aging but as I told my wife “I have a gift from God that I can run ultra-marathons in my sixties and shouldn’t squander it.”

Life is like a long race maybe the ultimate ultra-marathon but like most long races it has a cutoff time. I normally do not have to worry about cutoff times in races. I easily come in well before those times.  I am also not being morbid and talking about my own death.  I am however concerned that maybe one day my health will prevent my body from running.

While I am confident in my abilities as a runner after all I had just completed my first 100 mile trail race six weeks from sixty-second birthday.  As I age there are two things that become clearer with every day.  Time is a very limited commodity and our health is maybe our most precious asset. 

When I was younger, time seemed almost unlimited and good health was something I took for granted. Yet I soon realized that waiting for the “right” time to do something was impossible because there is almost never the “right” time for anything. This is something that is true at all ages. There is always a reason not to do something.

Knowing that I have limited time has freed me to push myself. To try ultra-marathons.

For example I was infatuated with the idea of running an ultra-marathon.  I wanted the challenge and believed I could do it if I trained.  Even though I was 57 and had not started running until I was 50 I knew that if I trained I could do it. I knew however that my life schedule was hectic and finding the time to train would be near impossible, so it would be better to wait. Then it hit me “I am 57 freaking years old!  I don’t have the luxury of time to wait until I have the time to train.”  So I signed up for my 50 Mile Run and amazingly found the time to train. The same thing happened four years later at the age of 61 when I signed up for a 100 Mile Challenge. I had become infatuated with the distance of 100 miles and the challenge but wasn’t sure the time was right but then it hit me “Do I want to just dream about it or do it?” Because I did not want to leave this world never knowing if I could do it. I signed up for a 100 Mile Run.

The point is our biggest disappointments in life are not the things we did but the things we did not do because the “time” was not right! Waiting for the right time is akin to watching life pass you by.

I should also note that COVID-19 has had an impact on my desire to do things sooner rather than later. We all know events that we really wanted to do that were cancelled. We also know people we may have lost, not even necessarily from COVID, that we never got a chance to see. I think that many of us now realize how precious our time and health is.  I know that for me personally having been sidelined by COVID and thinking that I may never run again made me even more aware of how limited our time is and how precious our good health is. It also made me realize how fragile it all is.

Time is a limited commodity. There is however one way to increase your time and that is with good health and fitness. I know everyone can point out someone who lived into their 90’s who smoked like a chimney and drank a bottle of whiskey daily.  They can also name someone perfectly fit who ran marathons and died in their 50’s. In fact so can I.  Yet in general, we all know that exercise is better for us.  In my view, it not only increases your time on this earth but it improves the quality of your time on this earth.

I stated earlier that my fitness and ability to run ultra-marathons is a “gift from God”. However is some respects it is a gift, that I bequeathed to myself. God may have given me some natural talent and free from any chronic conditions. Yet I spent time nurturing my gift mostly through running.  I was not going to take my health for granted anymore when I turned fifty. 

That is when I realized that my time to be active and fit was limited and I may need to do something to extend it.  A friend asked me years ago when I was in my early fifties how long do I think I could still do all the obstacle and trail races I was doing.  I had no answer for him but in my head that maybe when I turn sixty I may back off.  That was the cutoff time I created. Now that I am in my sixties and I am going stronger than I was when I was fifty, I realize that I am not going make up my own cutoff time I will just wait until my body tells me.

I called my friend who had cancer and he was in good spirits.  He seemed comfortable and at ease with his own mortality. I hope that I would be like that when I face my own mortality.  It affects me even more that he is younger than I. I almost feel guilty that while he is in his situation I am having fun running long distances in the forest.

The next day it was an early fall crisp morning and I savored my morning run. Like most runs it seems to get more enjoyable the further I get into it. The first mile is always one in which I try and find my rhythm. Maybe that is life itself. We spend the first part finding our rhythm and then we mature and get comfortable. Then it hit me as I was coasting on the second half of my morning run.  I spend a lot of time reminiscing about my past and thinking about my future but not enough time living in the moment. Those are the runs that I should enjoy the most. Yes a future ultra is great moment but I realize I need to enjoy the present and my daily runs. Those are the runs that extend the cut off times.