As I look at the graph on my computer, which charts the
distance of my runs and walks, I realized that in a little over two months I
have traveled over 500 miles since recovering from COVID-19. Let me rephrase that. “Traveled” is the wrong
word because I have not really gone anywhere.
All my runs and walks have occurred either directly from my house or at
parks which are within a five-minute drive from my house. While I may not have
really “traveled” anywhere, that does not mean that I have not been on a
journey since this pandemic started.
I can look at the miles logged before I contracted COVID-19,
when I thought I could easily brush aside COVID-19 because of my fitness. Then the blank entries for a couple of weeks
when I was captured under a dark cloud of COVID-19. Then the short walks that signal the slow but
steady climb to recovery. Now the miles
are coming at rate that I never attained before. The numbers tell a story of the journey, but
they definitely do not tell the whole story.
The numbers don’t express the fear, loneliness, and other emotions felt
during and after my bout with COVID-19.
Experiencing COVID-19 and expressing the emotions helps me explain the
journey and the numbers better.
I have noticed recently that since I am healthy and when I
tell people I had COVID-19, they are all of a sudden very fascinated about my
experience and what it is like to have it.
I then realize that the only information that they have received about
the disease is through news reports. Moreover, let’s be frank, that is often
focused on the numbers. The number of
positive tests. The number of hospitalizations. The number of deaths. It is the nation’s or an individual state’s
chart. Like my chart, they do not tell
the whole story.
The problems with the nation’s chart and the numbers on it,
is that people see the numbers they want to see. The numbers that back up the narrative they
believe to be true. I have found in talking to people and from reading their
posts, that there are two schools of thought of COVID-19.
One school thought is held by people who are terrified of
COVID-19, or at least take it very seriously. They focus on the number of
deaths and the rising number of people testing positive. They see all the people who are not wearing
masks and worry. While they know most
people survive COVID-19, they are still terrified. I know when I talk with these people they
seem to have worried the most during my bout and seemed surprise that I am back
to normal. In my conversations with them,
I do say it is a tough and serious illness but it is not a death sentence.
The other school of thought is that this is entirely
overblown and we have to go back to our normal lifestyles. They focus on the death rate and say only 1%
of the people die and 80% have almost no symptoms. First, of all, I cannot be that cavalier about
death. Not when over 150,000 people have died.
Using their own numbers that means that 19% are seriously ill. This is the major problem, in that it puts a burden
on the healthcare system. When an area
becomes a hot spot, the hospitals become COVID-19 wards and other medical
procedures and treatments get delayed. While we are getting better at providing
treatment, it is not an illness that is quickly treated by taking a pill and
you are better in a couple of days. They
take a long time to heal.
I have a theory about COVID-19 that since it attacks your
immune system, it also finds your weakness in your health and attacks
there. Whether it is a heart issue,
lungs, or in my case a cough. This is why people with pre-existing conditions
are the most at risk. I only bring this
up because COVID-19 has done the same thing to our nation. It has found a weakness in our system and
made it worse and we can see that in how we all look at the numbers in the
nation’s chart.
It has exposed that while our medical infrastructure has
maybe the best doctors and equipment in the world, is not prepared for a
pandemic. It also exposed the digital
divide in our schools.
The biggest weakness it exposed however is that we are very
divided politically, and very divided over how to address the pandemic. You cannot fight a war divided on the tactics
and strategy. Especially when we really
have only one strategy to combat COVID-19, and that is social distancing,
wearing a mask, and washing our hands. That’s it! Well we also do have hope.
Hope that science will come up with a vaccine and a very effective treatment
soon. Most likely “hope” is not coming
very quickly and that “hope” of a vaccine is probably the only thing that will
bring us together.
As I look at this divide, I know that most people feel anger,
especially towards the opposing viewpoints.
Not me. I feel sadness. A sadness that this divide will cause
unnecessary deaths and lengthen the time it will take our economy to
recover. A sadness that at a moment when
we should unite as a country we are divided.
I look at my chart again and look at my journey. I know most
people will say your back to normal.
While my fitness is back to normal, what the chart does not tell you is that
I am a changed man. I realize how lucky
I am that my bout was minor compared too many.
However, it was serious enough (which I chronicled in other posts) that
I can understand the despair that those who died by themselves felt as well as
the helplessness their loved ones felt. Those deaths are more personal for me as I
feel a sense of pain every time Governor Murphy speaks of one who passed. Sadly, while I am always a positive person
the way our country has handled this pandemic has dimmed some of my optimism.
As for our nation’s chart and our country’s journey? It is still a work in progress and we will
get through this, albeit not easily. I
am not even sure where we are in this journey, the middle? near the end? or
maybe still in the beginning? One day in
the future, we will look at the chart and the numbers. We will focus on our GNP, unemployment rate,
and other economic measures and see that they seem to be back to normal. The numbers may seem to be saying that we are
back to normal, but like me, we will be a changed nation.
