It was a couple of days after I had finished running the
length of New Jersey from the top, the High Point Monument in the Northwest
corner of the state, to the Cape May Lighthouse in the Southeast an almost two
hundred mile journey. I was pretty proud of myself. After all not too many
people could accomplish that feat especially at the age of 62. Yet it was not
lost on me that my crew team was lead by Ian Hockley. Ian had become a good
friend and I loved him like a brother but I wish I had never met him and that I
didn’t know him. Ian’s son Dylan was one of the twenty students lost in the
Sandy Hook school shooting. I met him through work when he was a keynote
speaker at our convention. This uneasy feeling rose up again after the school
shooting in Uvalde, Texas. School shootings are senseless acts of violence.
Yet I can’t shake the pangs of guilt I have about enjoying
my run and sharing laughs and even a drink with Ian knowing the relationship is
all built on a senseless death. Even my running partner for the New Jersey run,
Anthony, was built on school shootings. I did not know Anthony but a mutual
friend Tom introduced us. Tom and I had collaborated numerous times on school
security programs for school districts to prepare them for a school shooting.
My achievement and joy was in many ways built on senseless
deaths of students. I know if I had the power I would trade my achievement away
to bring back the lives of any students or teachers who were victims in a school
shooting.
Robb Armstrong, Ian Hockley, myself, and Anthony Certa before starting our New Jersey Run.
In a conversation with a reporter before the run it was
brought up that I was attempting something that few people could do. I
acknowledged that fact, but added “That
is true but Ian is doing something that I don’t think I could do. He is taking
his pain and anger and focusing his energy on building something positive for
kids.” I am not sure I could do that if it was my son or daughter that was
killed so tragically. I like to think that I would but I am not sure. I could
easily direct my energy on issues that anger me. What he is doing is more
amazing.
Like a lot of runners I will regularly run for a charity.
This run was also a fundraiser for Ian’s charity Dylan’s Wings of Change.
They do social emotional learning programs in schools trying to improve a
schools climate and culture.
As I ponder my conflicting feelings I thought of the mantra
that governs Dylan’s Wings of Change. It is the Butterfly
Effect. Which is how just small changes can accumulate
with massive effect. Like a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a hurricane
winds across the world. It was inspired
by Dylan’s mom seeing him flapping his arms when he was young and asking him
what he was doing. He said that he was a butterfly.
While Dylan’s Wings of Change focuses
on kids, the Butterfly Effect goes
beyond kids. It effected me there is no way I could have finished or even
attempted the run without Ian and Anthony not to mention Robb who is also
affiliated with Dylan’s Wings of
Change. So that small boy flapping his wings many years ago led to a 62
year old man pushing himself to his limits and running 196 miles.
Even during the run I felt the Butterfly Effect. Friends,
family, and even strangers came out to cheer Anthony and I on. They also
donated to Dylan’s Wings of Change.
They liked the idea that an individual was pushing himself to his limits for a
good and positive cause. One woman even said that to me at a crowd that was
gathered to greet us. “It was so good to
see something so positive and uplifting.” I think that she was also
alluding to the negative news that seems to all around us these days.
It was a bit overwhelming emotionally when you are
feeling the power of the Butterfly Effect.
The last few miles of the journey, I was very ineffectively trying to hold back
tears.
It is also very overwhelming emotionally to observe
another school shooting on the news. It also saddens me that our government
seems incapable and some might even say unwilling to do anything about it. What
can an individual do in this situation especially when the government is inept?
We can start small.
The Butterfly Effect does not
demand large acts but small acts of kindness and positive energy. In our own
community, we can start something that improves the climate and culture of our
local schools. Obviously making all our kids having a safe space is important
and maybe if we can prevent one troubled youth to seek help that will make a
huge difference.
I also find that when a group of people start
practicing acts of kindness it tends to build on itself and multiply to others.
So, I do not see any downside to spreading kindness. Ian has modeled this by
enriching students and adults lives, including mine with his relentless
positive actions.
I know that for some reason mentioning anything to
do with gun reform is a nonstarter for some people, but I am sure everyone
would want a system that keeps guns out of the hands of people with mental and
emotional problems.
If we all do a little, maybe we can prevent even
unknowingly a senseless act of violence. In a strange way, it might be the only
time preventing future friendships is a good thing.
