If you want someone to be forthright and completely honest
with you. Have a conversation with them while running alongside them. For some
reason all those social armors that we put up to protect our own image seem to
weaken when we run. So, when we are running alongside someone, we are more open
and likely to express our feelings. There is also something safe in being open
with another runner. You instinctively know that you are not being judged.
My cynical side believes this is why most people don’t run.
It would force them to be open and honest not only with others but themselves.
Then again it could be that it takes effort to run.
I know this to be true because I have run alongside many of
my fellow runners and have had great conversations with them. I am always
surprised at how candid we all are with each other. While I love to listen to people’s
epic adventures during a race and have been known to regale others with my own
adventures. What I find most fascinating and illuminating is everyone’s journey
to the starting line. It is their “why”. Why did they start
running and why do they still run.
The reasons are plentiful and diverse. Some to battle drug
or alcohol addiction, some in reaction to a bad relationship, some in response
to a chronic health condition, military veterans with PTSD, and mothers who
just want to clear their head. I know this because one of the questions I
always ask a runner especially on a long run is “Why are you running this
race?” The stories then burst out.
My own story seemed less dramatic than everyone else’s. It
was a midlife crisis and I wanted to get back in shape. I also saw old age
ahead and wanted to not be feeble in my later years. However, when I delved
deeper into my own motivations and really listened intently to the other
runners those diverse reasons had three common themes.
One is that we had lost control of our lives. We needed to
get some semblance of control. That might seem obvious for someone with
addiction issues, but I could even see it even in my own life. Yes, I had a
great family that I adore and a good career. Yet my life’s schedule was
centered around my kid’s life and when not them, my work schedule. We all need some
time for ourselves. When we run, we control the pace. If it is an hour or
thirty minutes, it is time that you are a master of. In a world in which we
have no control it is nice to have that control even if it is for a relatively
short time.
Second, we are all striving to be a better version of ourselves. We honestly can see that we have faults, and we need to improve ourselves. This is done by getting away from the more negative and sometimes even destructive ways of dealing with our lives. I have heard often from runners that it seemed like a healthier way to combat an issue. While to an outsider it may seem that we are being selfish putting our running higher on our priority list. (I am aware that we runners can get a bit neurotic about running. Because I have myself done that. Ask my wife.) We are giving our life more structure.
Almost every race that I have been at whether it is a 5K,
half-marathon, marathon, or an ultra-marathon there is someone who that race,
is a defining point. They are going to
run a distance, they never have before. They have worked hard to get there. They
are challenging themselves. The risk of failure is also there. Yet when they
achieve their goal, they are a changed person.
Yet this better version of ourselves extends to the rest of
our life. Once you feel more comfortable and content with yourself, it will extend
to other relationships. I know after I completed my first ultra-marathon the
feeling was amazing. The confidence that it instilled permeated into all
aspects of my life.
Finally running becomes a form of mindfulness. Some people
do meditation or yoga to clear their head. Others like me run. At the end of a
morning run I feel like I am ready for the day. I have heard some young mothers
say this alone time (alone time for a young mother is a rare commodity.) helps
clear their head. You may even know a runner who gets antsy if they get out of
their running routine and have not run in a while. I know when I was injured
once. I was like a caged animal pacing the house needing to feel the comfort of
my regular run.
It is amazing to me how running clears my head and I can see
the world better. Often a solution to a work problem becomes evident or even a blog
appears out of nowhere. I know that this is true for others as well.
After the race starts the journey for everyone is the same. Some
runners, as was stated before may have a race that has more significance. While
we may go at different speeds the terrain is the same, as is the weather. Some
of us arrive well before others but the path is the same. The finish line is
the same. The conversations at the end all center around the journey to that
finish line.
Yet what drives all of them and even defines them was their
journey to the starting line.
