Yes, there is Suffering and Disappointment in Eden (The Hainesport Endurance Run)

As I sat down to rest and hydrate about nine hours into my 24 hour endurance run. I put aside my own battle with the heat and sun, and took in the scene of the Hainesport Endurance Run.  There was peppy rock music playing in the background, race volunteers just fifty feet from my camp cheering on the runners as they were completing another mile loop. They were also providing food, Gatorade, and water. Runners passed by me, some very fast as they were competing in a 48 hour world championship and some just walking. Most runners were not competing for a championship but like me, were competing against themselves.

Most of the runners had a crew consisting of either a spouse, friends, or family that offered them physical and emotional support, both of which is greatly appreciated by the runners. I looked across the path at another runner’s camp and he was just sitting in a chair wrapped in a blanket staring at nothing. He was in a battle between his mind and his body. I had watched him over the hours and his body had broken down. At first he was laying down, with his wife using a roller on his leg muscles.  Then just laying prone on the ground. At one point he got up and while talking to other runners and crew looking like was going rise from the dead and start running or at least walking. Now though he was a zombie and his wife who had been so attentive was now in her own chair letting him contemplate his next move. I knew, and his wife knew, that his race was over, but for a runner to say it to themselves is painful. He had probably trained hard and had high hopes of a great race. However things do not always go according to plan and it is not pleasant when everything comes crashing down.

Then there was me. I was not suffering but I was disappointed. I didn’t know if it was my training, the heat, lack of crew, poor strategy, or a poor night’s sleep the days before but the miles were not accumulating as much as they should have. I had done over eighty miles in a 24 hour run on trails before so a 24 hour run on flat paved surfaces should be easier but it was not. What really was the problem was that all those things occurred because of a lack of focus on the event. Usually when an ultra-marathon race comes around, I circle it on my calendar and begin to focus not just my training but my mind. This race however I registered late and was distracted by my work. Sometimes if I am not careful I let my professional career get in the way of my running.

Yet despite my deep disappointment and weariness, I couldn’t think of a better place to be. I find that the ultra-marathon scene especially a looped run is my Garden of Eden. I know that when most people picture a place with Eden-like qualities they are thinking of sitting in a beach chair with an umbrella drink by their side, or floating in a pool or lagoon on a raft doing nothing. Not me! Let me have a place in which I am beating myself up and even the top elite runners suffer.

The atmosphere at an ultra is filled with determination, energy, enthusiasm, inspiration and much more. Yes there is also pain, suffering, and disappointment but they only make you appreciate the positives even more. Not only that you are in a large group of runners, crew, and volunteers who are at their best cheering each other on. There is a sense of community as well. It is impossible in my mind not to get caught up in the enthusiasm when you are surrounded by people all pushing themselves to their limits.

Let me give you some short examples.

There was a woman who was blind who was doing the 24 hour course. She had a team of volunteers alongside her the whole time guiding her. I know that her presence alone made me go extra loops.

There was a woman walking the course just trying to go the longest distance in her life. This is something that I can almost guarantee you happens at every race someone pushing themselves to a personal record. I was also impressed that she did much of this while reading a book.

There was the Canadian woman Viktoria who won the woman’s 48 Hour Race who was running with a mask because of her asthma.

I mentioned the community feel at these events. While stopping for refreshments and talking to volunteer we talked about other race venues like NJ Trail Series run by Rick and Jennifer as well as the Roosevelt Forest series put on by Lou. We ultra-runners gravitate to the same races and you begin to see many familiar faces. I said to one volunteer that we are a “small community” and he respond “maybe a little crazy community”. I said but a “happy and nice community.”

That brings me to the race directors. They are like a host of a party who make sure all their guests enjoy themselves. While the race director tries to take care of all the racers needs with food, water, trails that are well marked, and plenty of volunteers they also have a side that wants their guests to go all out. At this race Venessa, the race director did an outstanding job. I thanked her as I would thank someone for hosting a party. Though, in this “party” I was running for over 21 hours. Yet she had done a great job because I began to scouring her website to find other races that she put on and I could fit into my schedule.

Late into the night I notice the runner across the path had packed up and left. Yet I believe that even though his race had been miserable and painful, that he did not regret entering the event. That is because at events like this besides the great supportive and positive community, and positive energy surrounding you find one more thing. You find out more about yourself. Like I said I believe that all the runners are really competing against themselves. You find out how much determination you have. You may also find out what you are capable of. Even on bad days when you are hurting physically and maybe even mentally, you find out more about yourself. Then on those days when you accomplish your goal on a run the high is unbelievable. You do not find any of these things out however unless you try.

Take it from me while sitting by a pool side with an umbrella drink is relaxing you can’t get those other feelings of satisfaction about yourself that you get from an ultra-run.