In our society today one of the most compelling arguments made by the older generations against millennials and the generations following them is that those generations feel entitled and one of their favorite examples they cite to prove their point is that the problem is that everyone gets a trophy! Not just those who win, but all kids get a participation trophy so they all feel like they are winners even though they are not winners.
It is as if the act of getting a participation trophy has
almost single handily ruined a generation and will lead to the downfall of our
country. I am a Baby Boomer and it is my
generation that complains the loudest about this custom (We somehow
conveniently ignore the fact that we started this practice as parents.)
I remember one year when my kids were young, probably around
13 and 14 and they were on our lake’s swim team. They were average swimmers and some years at
the championship swim meet, they may place in the top six and be rewarded with
a special ribbon but this particular year that did not occur. At the swim team banquet, they received their
swim team ribbon, which was basically a “participation trophy” which all the
team members got. Some of the swimmers
who had placed got other ribbons and trophies.
At the banquet I went up to them and asked to see their ribbon and acted
as if I was really impressed. They looked at me incredulously and said “Dad
everyone gets these. It doesn’t mean we
were special.” While I didn’t tell them at that moment but they were right. (No!
Stop! I don’t mean my kids are not special they are. I love them with all my
heart, but they were not particularly gifted swimmers. I guess there goes my
dad of the year award.) They saw the
ribbons for what they were “participation trophies” and that while they were
happy to participate they did not feel special and certainly not entitled. I think kids can pick-up on social ques more
than adults realize.
Even if our kids are not impressed with their “participation
trophies” or at least see them for what they are, there is a place for
“participation trophies” and it is for me and all the other runners! I am a
runner and runners have almost an unhealthy attraction and love for
participation trophies.
As a runner that means I am fully stocked with participation trophies, which most often take the form of a t-shirt. However, I also have an array of medals, sweatshirts, headbands, drinking glasses, coffee mugs, jackets, and even socks! Full disclosure here, I love my participation trophies and am proud of them. Also in full disclosure in all the races I have participated in, I have not won one, with the notable exception of placing first in my age group for a mile run, in a very, very small local meet. I was in the oldest age group and there was only three people in that group (One of the advantages of aging is that there are fewer competitors as you get older) so it was not a tremendous feat but I also would like to add that I beat all those youngsters in the age group below me.
I am not unique in this need for a participation
trophy. All the races I sign up for
whether it is an obstacle run like the Spartan or Tough Mudder or a
noncompetitive charity 5K, they promote their bling which in reality are participation
trophies. In fact, for those rare races that
do not provide race swag or bling they have to clearly state that they don’t have
any bling, and then give a damn good and compelling reason. There is one race I do that is small charity
race and they don’t charge a lot so that all the funds can go to the charity. While I run it every year I have this ache in
my heart for my participation trophy. The point is everyone wants there
participation trophy. At least I hope so, or am I the only shallow person out
there?
As I stated earlier I love my “participation trophies” and
to the dismay of my son I wear my race shirts often. (My son thinks that I wear the shirts to show
off that I am old guy who still can do it.
Which is of course is completely true.
The fact that it drives him crazy is just a major bonus.) When I go to a
race it is a smorgasbord of race shirts as everyone is wearing some past race
shirt.
This is why participation trophies are important because
they help foster participation as their namesake clearly indicates. They get people involved not just in running
but you see numerous volunteer groups also do similar things to get people not
only involved in their cause but make them feel good about being a part of
something. This is important because the
lack of participation is a chronic issue in the nonprofit world and even in
democracy itself. Before I get to deep
and go over the top with all this because it sounds like I am arguing that
“participation trophies” are essential to democracy, which is almost as crazy
as saying they are the demise of a generation, let me continue.
Running may be a bit unique, in regards to winning and
losing, in that you can enter a race that may have less than a hundred
participants or thousands of other competitors and 99% of them know they are
not going to win the entire race or even their age group, yet they still
compete.
Then why do we do it?
The answer it is not about winning as much as it is about
improving yourself. Maybe you do it to
stay fit. Maybe to challenge yourself to
accomplish something you were not sure you could do. Maybe to get a personal best in a distance.
The reasons are very personal but those personal reasons are the best
motivators.
I know for myself that there were several grueling races in
which I finished significantly behind the winner, who by the time I finished, was
probably in their car on their way home. However, I felt like a winner just by
completing the race. That is why I like
my “participation trophies” I earned them especially since they pretty much all
came after the age of 50.
That is the lesson our youth should get from the
“participation trophies” it is not about winning but about being a part of
something, being part of a community, and of improving yourself. If you do these things you are not just a
participant but you actually are a winner.
