Thank You Coach DG

I was a skinny high school sophomore at Boonton High School in the mid 1970’s. I decided to try out for the football team. I had always been a pretty good athlete but now the competition was different. There were so many guys on the team almost all of them bigger than me. I was not even 150 pounds at that time. Though very few were faster than me. Frankly I was a little intimidated by all this. The upperclassman seemed like men to me. I mean many of them had facial hair. While I was a bit intimidated, I was also determined to stick it out and even play some JV.

If I was smart, I would have said that with my size that I wanted to play as a defensive back but some how I was with the defensive ends, which in our high school’s scheme was like an outside linebacker. After all the general drills we broke up into our units and I was with a group of strong large players. I was one of the smallest players.

Coach Gardner (DG as we affectionately called him) selected one of the other sophomores and assigned him the task of selecting where we would practice our drills. Now at the time our fields were among the worst of all the high schools because of their overuse. The player selected a spot with some nice grass not too far from where we were standing.   The veteran players had a glint in their eyes because they knew what was going to happen. All of a sudden DG burst into a high pitched yell and bellowed “We are not going to practice on the grass! We are going to practice on the rocks, dirt and glass! We are defensive ends we are tougher!” We all then ran to the worst section of the fields with joy.

That was my first encounter with DG and that was just one lesson among many that has stayed with me.

Lesson 1 – Turning a disadvantage into an advantage. All the students at the school used to look enviously at some of the other school’s facilities. It was obvious to them that they would be better athletes because they had better facilities. Coach Gardner, however, took our disadvantage and made our unit believe we were tougher than the others because of this disadvantage.     It was brilliant and our unit was always among the best. In life we too often readily accept obstacles as an excuse for not succeeding.

DG was a master motivator and could use anything to his advantage. Frankly his pregame pep talks were legendary. They would make Knute Rockne sound like a Kindergarten teacher.

Lesson 2 – Determination and toughness can take you far. That first year I was not the best player. Not even close!  But I wanted to be on the team. The drills that we had to do were not easy. Success would be measured by just completing them. I know that nowadays these drills may seem excessively violent, but it was the way it was then and frankly I think they helped me later in life. One drill we did was that we had to go through a gauntlet of paired blockers. Not around them but through them. I remember my fear about doing this drill the first time. I was smaller than most and could not really use my greatest strength, my quickness to go around them. Yet I attacked them and made it through eventually.

In this case toughness was not physical it was more mental. Getting through this drill made me aware that I was capable of more than I thought. When I do long ultra marathons, I find that this toughness is not just physical, it’s mental grit. It’s getting through a difficult situation. In life we always encounter disappointment. Like that gauntlet we must keep moving forward with determination and toughness.

Lesson 3 – Having someone believing in you makes a huge difference. While I “survived “my sophomore year, I began to blossom my junior year. I was a little bigger and stronger. DG would coach me hard and tell me where I could improve. Previously my coaches would tell me basics and let me just use my natural athletic ability. Coach Gardner had me focus on eliminating my bad habits. Bad habits that I could get away with when I was younger but no longer could. He also made me focus on the mental aspect of the game reading the offenses and staying in my lane.

His belief in me was evident to everyone. He started calling me “JC Pinney” an obvious connection to the department store. When he yelled my name there was a hint of affection in his voice.  I heard the not so quiet whispers when I was called “Gardner’s son”. It angered me a bit because it was not like he gave me special breaks. Looking back now maybe there was a little affection on his part. For my part there was a deep need to please him and not let him down. I needed to reward his faith in me.

Having someone believe in you can make you perform better. That is true in all aspects of life not just sports.

Lesson 4 – Confidence is necessary. It is very important to have someone believe in you but that will only take you so far. What you need is to believe in yourself. In high school I had very little confidence but with some success on the football field my confidence began to grow. My junior year I was one of only four juniors to receive a letter on a senior laden team with great talent. DG’s coaching had worked. For maybe the first time in my life I felt comfortable about my ability. My senior year DG was not coaching because he wanted to have time to watch his son play his senior year of football. I really missed him, but his two years of tutelage had done its job.

It is funny, confidence is something that is not always permanent and if you start to lose it your performance suffers no matter what you are doing. My greatest successes in life always occurred because I was confident.

Confidence also comes from doing your homework, using your ability and working hard. Not just in sports but in all facets of life. I have learned that in my life but the building block for that knowledge was built on the football field with coach Gardner.

During my chat with DG at the Tourne (See previous blog about our chance meeting.) he said with joy “JC seeing you not only made my day. It made my year!” My reply which eluded me at the time is “DG having you coach me made me a better man.”

 

 

 

A Run that Led me Back in Time to a Turning Point in my Life

As I started on my trail run, I was no more than a tenth of a mile into the woods when there was a loud clap of thunder. I paused but continued. Then there was another clap followed by some light rain. I paused again and started to turn around, but the rain then stopped. I was not worried about getting rained on and wet, though I probably should have been better prepared and brought my poncho. I was more concerned about my phones. I convinced myself that since I had them safely in a plastic bag within my running vest, that they should be okay and if it came down too hard, I could just cut my run short. What I didn’t realize at the time was that the thunder was a signal from the trail running gods that I was going to experience one of my most memorable moments on any run. I would meet up with someone who had a major impact on my life.

At the time I was oblivious to all this and was just trying to get in a good eight or nine mile run. On the run I saw three older gentlemen walking around the lake in which I also circled around. I actually saw them twice and they waved and encouraged me on. All three had the same T-shirt on with the emblem of a wildcat on it. I left the lake for another loop and would eventually return back to the lake and loop it again before traversing other parts of the Tourne County Park.

As I returned back to the lake loop I saw two of the same three gentlemen. I was not sure what had happened to the other man. They stopped and indicated that they wanted to talk. I find this happens often especially with people more elderly, they wonder who this gray-haired man is running for a long time. So we chatted a bit. They asked me how far I was running and were impressed that at the time I was on mile five but wanted to do eight or nine. Then they asked me where I live and somehow during my reply, I mentioned that I went to Boonton High School. The one gentleman then quickly pounced on that and asked “What is your name?” When I replied “Ray Pinney” His eyes lit up with joy. “I was your teacher!” I looked at him and realized that it was my old football coach Dave Gardner or DG as we used to call him.  “DG!” I shouted. “JC Pinney” He replied, using my old high school nickname which he had bestowed upon me during football practice.

Now I have not been coached by DG in forty-eight years but that does not mean I do not think of him. Outside of my parents and family I am hard pressed to think of anyone else who had more of an impact on me than DG. I was so elated to see him but what made me even happier was that he was just as excited as I was. We just hugged each other with pure joy.

I wish that I was more prepared to meet him because I would have waxed poetically about him, but it was such a surprise I was almost speechless. Our affection and respect for each other was obvious and the forty-eight years did nothing to lessen it. In fact, for my part it enhanced it, because now with some of the wisdom I have gained over my sixty-four years of living, I realized how fortunate I was to have DG coach me.  

While I was completely surprised, the lessons of our football drills came to me immediately. I didn’t have to go back far in the rolodex of my mind to find them because I had always kept them in the front of my mind. I did not keep them there to relive the glory days of my youth but more as lessons to help me navigate the present. I told him that I think of him often as well as the drills he lead on the football field. I wanted him to know that he impacted me greatly. Yet I was not sure it came across. You see I still consider myself an athlete, always competing.

His friend whose sons also went to Boonton High and played football though a couple of years ahead of and behind me, remarked to DG. “You seem to remember everyone!” Then DG said something that almost made me cry. “No, I don’t remember everyone just the special ones and Ray is very special.”

He even said I read about you a while back. I said, “My running the length of New Jersey?” He replied “Yeah that was amazing.”

The three of us chatted a while laughing and enjoying ourselves. We took a picture of DG and me.  Then there was a loud clap of thunder, and it seemed that the heavens were going to open up. I was a mile and a half away from my car, so we said our good byes.

As I headed down the trail, I felt so strong and light on my feet. Soon the thunder got louder and more frequent. Yet there was no rain. It was then that I realized that it was the trail gods again admonishing me. Though they did not want to spoil everyone else’s day since it was my mistake that they were upset about.  They were upset for me not saying one thing to DG: “Thank You!” He really helped make me a better man. To make matters worse I didn’t even have his cellphone number to send him the picture.

I relived those times with him and how they are still with me all these years later. When I got home, I told my wife about my encounter.  She really knew nothing about his impact but when I told her the story she said “This was no coincidence. The universe was trying to tell you something.” She was right, I had to do something.

Hopefully he reads this somehow. But maybe more importantly he will read the next blog in which I describe his impact. Thank You Coach