Two roads diverged
in a wood, and I—
I took the one
less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
We all come to a fork in the road in our life’s journey. Actually, life’s journey is probably a series of forks from which to choose. I can distinctly remember the moment I decided to start running and getting into shape. I had come out of an all-Saturday morning meeting on a cold and wet November morning. When I got out of the conference center the cold light rain hit my face and I felt the cold immediately and was uncomfortable. I thought of my younger brothers who were doing the Tough Mudder. I was thinking they must be very cold and wet right now. The next weekend when they regaled us with the difficulty they had with the cold weather and swimming in frigid water as well as being covered from head to toe in mud. I was jealous. I wanted that same challenge! I wanted to be as miserable as they were!
It was then that I chose which path I would take and that would be running to get in shape. I am not sure which great American philosopher I was following Robert Frost or maybe it was Yogi Berra who once said “When you come to a fork in the road take it.”. Yet I not only walked down the path I ran down it. I knew where it would lead. It would lead to being in better shape and much healthier than I was. Maybe even a better quality of life in terms of being able to do more things physically despite the aging process. Yes it was Robert Frost I was following because not many people go into obstacle races, trail races and eventually ultra-marathons after the age of fifty.
A funny thing happened after I went full speed into obstacle races, trail races, or any other race I could find. Yes, as expected my fitness improved and I was able to quickly increase the distances and difficulty of my runs. Yet what I didn’t expect or even think of, was that I found a community. A running community. Every race was a collection of friends who I hadn’t met yet. I began to see the same faces at races. The ultra and trail running community is a rather small community. So, we end up signing up for some of the same races. You begin to know the race directors as well since this is such a niche sport.
I know that I am bias, but frankly it is one of the best communities I have ever had the pleasure to be a part of. It is a community that is built on being supportive. Especially in the trail and ultra running community. I do not know anyone’s religious or political beliefs or their economic status. I can certainly guess but it really has no bearing on our relationship. We come together to push each other and challenge ourselves.
These friendships form quickly. After running one ultra with someone you seem to be connected for life. Even if you never see them ever again you feel a connection with someone you may have run with. For example, when I did a 50k in Utah I ran the last ten miles or so with a man called Fletch and we were determined to finish together despite his legs seizing up. Another time on a trail half marathon a woman ran behind me for almost the entire race. At the end another woman runner passed me who I thought was her. However, it wasn’t. When I finished twenty yards ahead of her I turned around to greet her and congratulate her. She joked “You thought that was me passing you after trailing for eleven miles didn’t you?” We hugged and laughed.
With the advent of social media, we can cheer each other on, from afar. I believe it has enhanced the closeness of the community because we stay in contact with each other sharing race adventures. I may only see someone once or twice a year but I am not out of touch with their life. In fact, I have a few running friends that I correspond with that I have never met in person. Two people, in particular Richard and Cynthia I met when we were the most frequent posters on running website. When the running sight went down, we continued our conversations via email. I believe that we help motivate and inspire each other. While I have never met them, we are definitely friends.
While most of these people I would not know if I had not taken up running, Some people in my neighborhood community and work life I would have met, Yet sharing our running interest has deepened and enhanced our relationships.
On maybe my most epic adventure of running, almost two hundred miles from the top of New Jersey to the bottom I did it with some people I barely knew. Yet by the end of the run Ian, Robb, Anthony, Dave, and I were very close. We had worked together to accomplish what seemed like a near impossible goal. We formed a bond through being supportive and encouraging to each other. When you accomplish something as a team you are bonded for life.
To me the essence of friendship you get from finishing
something together helps explain the closeness of the running community. It is
like my New Jersey run. Everyone pushing themselves to do their best and we are
not only focused on our race but being supportive of other runners. This
support is not faked, it is real. Which is why the finish line is so important.
It is the goal for everyone. It may be even more important to the last place
finisher because it was more difficult. Yet it is a place to share camaraderie.
So much so that many races have some type of celebration at the end as well as
give out finisher medals. We all wear our medals with pride, and they all are
exactly the same because we are one community.
A couple of weeks ago my wife and I were sitting in our living room after dinner talking when our cell phones started dinging. It was two of my running communities group chats starting up. My wife who does not run, has however gotten to know many of my running friends and is on one group chat and follows many others on Facebook. She looked at me and said “It is amazing the friends and relationships we have now.” It is people we would not have known if I had not taken up running. They have all enriched my life greatly and I thank them all.
Robert Frost was right. I took the road less traveled “And
that has made all the difference”.
