I had breakfast with a friend recently and our conversation
drifted all over the place. We discussed work, leadership, and creating a life
with meaning. Building a purposeful life is different for me now that I am in
my 60s than it was when I was thirty. During the conversation my running
adventures came up. Running is now a
core part of my identity.
As we parted ways, my friend said to me “Ray with your
running adventures and outlook you have the best grasp of the work/life balance
of anyone I know.” That was one of the nicest compliments I have ever received.
I am not sure if she thought that because I have a handle on work/life balance
or if it’s just that everyone else she knows, doesn’t! I would like to think it is the former. I will
admit that for some reason I find balancing life easier now than when I was
younger.
I also think that she hit on a key reason for my perceived
balance—my adventures in ultra-marathon running. It doesn’t seem immediately intuitive that taking
additional time out of my busy life to run for long periods of time would add
balance to my life, but it has. I have to say I am happy in my life. I am not
sure why I am afraid to admit that but I am. It’s not that everything goes my
way but a snub or conflict at work does not define me. I think too many people
have their identity wrapped up in their work. More on that later.
Yet I knew that she was correct that my running has led to
much more happiness. I wasn’t sure why. But I knew in my heart that it was
true.
The next day I picked up a week-old copy of the New York
Times that I had meant to read but hadn’t found the time. After I read the
articles for which I had saved the paper for, I serendipitously noticed a small
headline about a podcast Why are People Drawn to Extreme Sports. This
reignited my thinking of how ultra-running had changed me. Since
this was a paper newspaper (Yes, on weekends I still get a paper copy of the New
York Times.) I had to do a quick search and found the podcast Speaking
of Psychology: Why are People Drawn to Extreme Sports. The guest
was an Australian psychologist Dr. Eric Brymer. I thought maybe this might
explain my experience.
I almost didn’t listen to the whole podcast because his
definition of “extreme sports” was a narrow one. A criterion was that possible
death was the result of a miscalculation. For example, cliff jumping or rock
climbing with just your hands and no equipment. While Dr. Brymer would not consider ultra
running an “extreme sport” his profile of the individuals who participate in those
sports did resonate with my personal experiences and motivations.
When you think of why people would get involved in such
sports, including ultra-running, there is a two-part question. First: Why did
they start down that road? The more
important question though is: Why do they continue to pursue these endeavors
even as they age? I have pondered why I can’t stop and why do I push myself? It
was hard to explain but Dr. Brymer’s findings affirm my feelings. He states
that “Actually, what we find is for most participants, the reason they
continue is because they get something so powerfully transformational and
beneficial from it.”
That is a good description of why I continue. There are
benefits to ultra-running that Dr. Brymer touches on. It has been known for a
long time that physical activity is good for the body and the soul. It is also known that being outdoors near
nature is good for you as well so any activity that combines both is good for
you. What separates “extreme” sports and I will include ultra-running in that
from other activities is that you almost always get tested personally. Your
planning, preparation and skills are always being tested. Each race is so
different that every race is an adventure.
This brings me back to my friend who thought that somehow, I
have a balanced life, and that my running had something to do with it. Dr.
Brymer would agree. As he states “…doing the adventure, and the extreme
sport, does change your attitude in everyday life as well. It changes the way
you interact with others, the way you experience your relationship with the
natural world, it changes the way you experience everyday activities.”
Much as traveling to faraway places broadens our experiences,
ultra-running does the same for me. Dr. Brymer makes the case that humans by
nature are adventurous beings. We pretty much expanded our homelands to the
entire globe from a humble beginning in Africa.
Extreme sports (and I would include ultra-running) are very
adventurous activities. They do make you feel more alive than sitting in an
office on your computer. Nowadays we generally have safe comfortable lives, and
technology makes our lives even easier every day. It is hard to break away from
comfort of a recliner with a remote control, Siri, and your cellphone. We do
for the most part have our food and shelter taken care of. Yet it is when we break
away from that comfortable life when we really start to live.
I mentioned at the beginning that many people have their
identity wrapped up in their work. To their credit they are usually very
competent at their work. Maybe because that is the only part of their life in
which they find adventure. Yet I have seen too many of them stay too long at a
job because that is what identifies them. Having interests and activities
outside of your work is healthier. It also makes you more interesting.
I believe that Dr. Brymer did hit on something when he spoke
about doing something that is adventurous, although my definition would
probably be more expansive than his. I think an adventurous endeavor is a more
personal event. It does not have to be death-defying to be adventurous. The
author Eudora Welty once wrote “All serious daring starts from within.” An adventure just needs to be something that
takes you out of your comfort zone and also tests you a bit.
For example, I ran the Grand Canyon Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim
unsupported and solo. Something that Dr. Brymer might even said was “extreme”
though as I was doing it I kept thinking to myself. I would love to do this
slower. It wouldn’t be a harder adventure, but it would still be an adventure.
Some of my most memorable, uplifting and spiritual runs were
not extremely difficult. Whether it was a desert run in Zion National Park, a
rainy and windy run up along a rugged coastline of Ireland, or even a nice run
on a country road in New England, they all had a bit of adventure to them.
While they were in nature and had physical activity tied to them, they were far
from extreme.
So, adventure is good for you, and you don’t necessarily have
to go to extremes to find it. In fact, a good place to start is by looking
within yourself.
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