Is Adventurous Running the Key to a Happy Life?

I had breakfast with a friend recently and our conversation drifted all over the place. We discussed work, leadership, and creating a life with meaning. Building a purposeful life is different for me now that I am in my 60s than it was when I was thirty. During the conversation my running adventures came up.  Running is now a core part of my identity.

As we parted ways, my friend said to me “Ray with your running adventures and outlook you have the best grasp of the work/life balance of anyone I know.” That was one of the nicest compliments I have ever received. I am not sure if she thought that because I have a handle on work/life balance or if it’s just that everyone else she knows, doesn’t!  I would like to think it is the former. I will admit that for some reason I find balancing life easier now than when I was younger.

I also think that she hit on a key reason for my perceived balance—my adventures in ultra-marathon running.  It doesn’t seem immediately intuitive that taking additional time out of my busy life to run for long periods of time would add balance to my life, but it has. I have to say I am happy in my life. I am not sure why I am afraid to admit that but I am. It’s not that everything goes my way but a snub or conflict at work does not define me. I think too many people have their identity wrapped up in their work. More on that later.

Yet I knew that she was correct that my running has led to much more happiness. I wasn’t sure why. But I knew in my heart that it was true.

The next day I picked up a week-old copy of the New York Times that I had meant to read but hadn’t found the time. After I read the articles for which I had saved the paper for, I serendipitously noticed a small headline about a podcast Why are People Drawn to Extreme Sports. This reignited my thinking of how ultra-running had changed me. Since this was a paper newspaper (Yes, on weekends I still get a paper copy of the New York Times.) I had to do a quick search and found the podcast Speaking of Psychology: Why are People Drawn to Extreme Sports. The guest was an Australian psychologist Dr. Eric Brymer. I thought maybe this might explain my experience.

I almost didn’t listen to the whole podcast because his definition of “extreme sports” was a narrow one. A criterion was that possible death was the result of a miscalculation. For example, cliff jumping or rock climbing with just your hands and no equipment.  While Dr. Brymer would not consider ultra running an “extreme sport” his profile of the individuals who participate in those sports did resonate with my personal experiences and motivations.

When you think of why people would get involved in such sports, including ultra-running, there is a two-part question. First: Why did they start down that road?  The more important question though is: Why do they continue to pursue these endeavors even as they age? I have pondered why I can’t stop and why do I push myself? It was hard to explain but Dr. Brymer’s findings affirm my feelings. He states that “Actually, what we find is for most participants, the reason they continue is because they get something so powerfully transformational and beneficial from it.”

That is a good description of why I continue. There are benefits to ultra-running that Dr. Brymer touches on. It has been known for a long time that physical activity is good for the body and the soul.  It is also known that being outdoors near nature is good for you as well so any activity that combines both is good for you. What separates “extreme” sports and I will include ultra-running in that from other activities is that you almost always get tested personally. Your planning, preparation and skills are always being tested. Each race is so different that every race is an adventure.

This brings me back to my friend who thought that somehow, I have a balanced life, and that my running had something to do with it. Dr. Brymer would agree. As he states “…doing the adventure, and the extreme sport, does change your attitude in everyday life as well. It changes the way you interact with others, the way you experience your relationship with the natural world, it changes the way you experience everyday activities.”

Both my friend and Dr. Brymer used the same word – adventure. My perception of life has changed through all these adventures. I have definitely gathered more confidence in my ability not just in running long distances but in my ability to do other things in my life. Yet there is more to it.

Much as traveling to faraway places broadens our experiences, ultra-running does the same for me. Dr. Brymer makes the case that humans by nature are adventurous beings. We pretty much expanded our homelands to the entire globe from a humble beginning in Africa.

Extreme sports (and I would include ultra-running) are very adventurous activities. They do make you feel more alive than sitting in an office on your computer. Nowadays we generally have safe comfortable lives, and technology makes our lives even easier every day. It is hard to break away from comfort of a recliner with a remote control, Siri, and your cellphone. We do for the most part have our food and shelter taken care of. Yet it is when we break away from that comfortable life when we really start to live.

I mentioned at the beginning that many people have their identity wrapped up in their work. To their credit they are usually very competent at their work. Maybe because that is the only part of their life in which they find adventure. Yet I have seen too many of them stay too long at a job because that is what identifies them. Having interests and activities outside of your work is healthier. It also makes you more interesting.

I believe that Dr. Brymer did hit on something when he spoke about doing something that is adventurous, although my definition would probably be more expansive than his. I think an adventurous endeavor is a more personal event. It does not have to be death-defying to be adventurous. The author Eudora Welty once wrote “All serious daring starts from within.”  An adventure just needs to be something that takes you out of your comfort zone and also tests you a bit.

For example, I ran the Grand Canyon Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim unsupported and solo. Something that Dr. Brymer might even said was “extreme” though as I was doing it I kept thinking to myself. I would love to do this slower. It wouldn’t be a harder adventure, but it would still be an adventure.

Some of my most memorable, uplifting and spiritual runs were not extremely difficult. Whether it was a desert run in Zion National Park, a rainy and windy run up along a rugged coastline of Ireland, or even a nice run on a country road in New England, they all had a bit of adventure to them. While they were in nature and had physical activity tied to them, they were far from extreme.

So, adventure is good for you, and you don’t necessarily have to go to extremes to find it. In fact, a good place to start is by looking within yourself.

Lesson of the Legends – Part 3 -The Power of the Group and Other People

In sports like football and basketball there is something called the home field or home court advantage. Basically, having a home crowd rooting for the home team usually helps them perform even better and can affect the visiting team’s performance negatively. The power of the crowd is so strong that the oddsmakers in Las Vegas usually measure its worth in pro football games at around 3 points. Think about that. Even though someone is not on the field they can impact someone else’s performance.

What is even more surprising is that at an event like A Race For The Ages (ARFTA) the other runners can also impact the performance of each other and crews can not only impact their runner but other runners as well. I know this is true because it affected my performance.

There are several ways I know this. First is that the ultra-running community is an extremely supportive community. As you are running or walking along the course everyone is so positive and always urging each other on. Even other runner’s crews will cheer you on. Every time I ran by Tom’s daughter Sarah (see previous blog) she cheered me on. It’s a little thing but it lifts your spirits. Ultra-running is just as much a mental exercise as a physical one, so being positive helps a lot. There will be times that you want to quit and a little pick-me-up from a fellow runner or crew member helps.

Second, tied in with the need for positivity is the need to have confidence in yourself. Believing you have the ability to accomplish something is a necessity to achieving it. Yet confidence is something that is sometimes fragile when faced with a major challenge. On this race I knew I could finish more than 100 miles, but I was not sure how far after that I could go. Although I had never really done anything like that before, I did know that I was doing pretty well on this race. Yet I had no idea where I would place. A few of the other runners took notice of my pace and hours on the course and they would say to me “You are really crushing it!” or something to that effect. It’s amazing how when others recognize your effort that motivates you to keep going. It helps build up your confidence when others think that you can accomplish something.

Third, when you are with a group of people all trying their best and pushing themselves to their limits, it has a contagious impact. There was a woman name Rosie who was 71 and was just a few laps behind me who just kept going. She was probably hurting a bit and was hunched to one side as she slowly covered the course. She could have quit the race at any time, but she just kept moving.

On the last night of the race I was going into the wee hours and it seemed like there were fewer runners out on the course. But I kept pushing until I could not keep my eyes open. I went to take a short nap but really conked out and slept over five hours, which was much longer than I planned. When I awoke the sun was up and I saw many runners circumventing the course. They had apparently taken their nap earlier than me and for a shorter length. I then realized that if they were pushing that hard, I had no excuse not to push myself to the very last second. Which I did. My goal the previous day was 150 miles, but I ended up doing 160 miles. Basically, that last 10 miles was motivated by the other runners.

It is not often in today’s sometimes divisive world that you can go to a place where you know that you will be supported by all others. Even complete strangers. Where you will see people giving it their all. Where some people are attempting to do something, they have never done before.  All this is accomplished with a sense of joy in the air, even when some are suffering.

There were numerous times in this race that I thought about stopping. Yet it seemed so wrong. There was a sign on the course that said it best: “Your competition is the little voice in your head that wants you to quit.” The race was not about beating the other runners as much as it was about doing your best. Doing your best rarely involves quitting.

Maybe the most important lesson on this race, as in most ultra-marathons, is that our actions not only impact us but those around us. I am sure that many of those runners were unaware that their effort motivated me and made me push harder. This is a lesson beyond ultrarunning. Our positivity and effort can affect others. And if that is true our negativity can also affect others. Which one do you want to spread?

 

 

Being Miserable Makes for a Perfect Training Race

I had already run over 21 miles and my stomach had almost revolted when I tried eating a short while ago. Yet I continued on. I did not have time to sit and rest until I felt better.

I had to figure out a way to keep moving despite it being difficult keeping the food down. I also had a major climb ahead of me that would sap some of my energy. I was feeling like crap. However, I was thinking that this was a perfect run for me precisely because I was miserable. That is because I needed to be challenged and pushed if I wanted to complete my upcoming challenge in a few weeks.

When I run a trail race the one thing I always try and focus on is being present in the moment. Enjoying the trail, maybe snapping a few photos to document the beauty of the course. Trail running has taken me to parks that I would never have visited without entering a race. It is a belief I have in life as well: Be present in the moment. Sometimes we dwell on the past and fret about the future, and do not enjoy the present.

Try as I might, I couldn’t quite keep that “present” feel on a recent trail ultra marathon. It was the Spring on the Trail 12 Hour Race. The race is located in the Hudson Valley region New York State. It is a beautiful course and I did snap a few pictures, but at times my mind was more than 2,300 miles away on the South or North Kaibab Trails of the Grand Canyon. These are trails my feet have never transversed—yet.  In a few weeks I will be doing the Grand Canyon Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim, a distance of between 43-47 miles depending on your route.

I signed up for the race in the Hudson Valley to get in almost the same amount of miles as the Grand Canyon, but I got more than I bargained for. It was more difficult than I anticipated partly because I didn’t study the course enough and partly because things just go wrong in ultra races.

What surprised me about the course was how much elevation it had. (Of course, had I studied it, it would have been apparent.)

There was an elevation rise of almost 600 feet per loop and I would end up doing fourteen loops. That’s more than 8,000 feet of climbing. Those 600 feet of elevation were packed into about a mile and a half climb. This long climb, while much shorter than the two long climbs I would do at the Grand Canyon, was about as good as it gets in my area to train for long vertical climbs. Since this was a loop run I did not really need to take in the views every time. I could pretty much put my head down and pretend I was at the Grand Canyon doing those two long steep ascents. I was pretty good on these climbs, moving rather steadily even after forty miles.

Yet that mistake on my part was a blessing because it was great training for the Grand Canyon run. Even my digestive issues around halfway through were a blessing. I had to figure out how to keep moving when eating was nearly impossible. While on this race I had an aid station plus my own food at my car, at the Grand Canyon the only fuel I will have is what I can carry with me on the run. I had been eating something small every six miles or so but then made a mistake by skipping a meal and trying to eat more to make up for it.

It was also warm day, and then I ate a warm, almost hot pickle at the aid station. Normally pickles can provide a runner with much-needed sodium but this one made me feel queasy. I just walked a bit and ran slowly till my stomach settled down. Lesson learned: Don’t eat a pickle that that has been sitting in the sun after running over 20 miles.

I finished my thirteenth lap and had time for the fourteenth. While I was running this lap, I met a woman who was on the same lap as me. She decided not to do another lap because she had a long ride home. I thought about my Grand Canyon run and realized that there was no option to cut a run short. As I came to this last lap the weather had changed dramatically. It was much colder and began to rain, plus it was getting dark. I was almost gleeful that I had to put on my rain gear and a head lamp. I knew on my Grand Canyon Run I would need to run with my headlamp, so I was happy to take it out. While I don’t anticipate a cold rain at the canyon, it is possible, plus running in miserable weather is always a good training practice.

My legs were tired. My body was wet from the rain and sweat. My stomach was still a little off. It was dark and I needed my headlamp to pack up. I had a long ride home—almost two hours in heavy rain. However, I was very happy with my performance and felt ready for the Grand Canyon. I covered about the same amount of ground as that run in eleven and a half hours.

My putting my head down and plowing ahead made me faster. There was one other lesson on this run. At one point at a beautiful overlook after about ten loops I decided to walk out away from the trail to take a picture. Previously it had been crowded with day hikers. After I took a couple of photos and as I headed back I saw this man-made mini altar. It had a Buddha in the middle, a golf ball, painted rocks, a rainbow heart, and other interesting trinkets.  I laughed and took a picture. Lesson learned. Yes, it is important to plow ahead on a physical quest, but one should take the time and be present in the moment or you might miss something.  I vowed that when I am in the Grand Canyon, I will not blindly push on but take moments to stop and take it all in.

A Different Man Since the Exchanging of Wedding Vows

I was reading the book Running Home by Katie Arnold. She, like me, is an accidental ultra runner. Though I really don’t know anyone who had a life plan to become an ultra-runner. You somehow find an urge to try an ultra-marathon and before you know it, you’re addicted. Unlike me who is more middle of the pack runner who lives in New Jersey, Katie lives in New Mexico and is a very accomplished ultra runner, as well as writer. Besides ultra running we have very little in common except one other thing. It is something that I wish I could ask other ultra runners about. That is the impact of ultra running on your spouse or significant other.

As I was reading the book, I told my wife she should read the book. My wife would not naturally be drawn to reading a running book. But as I told her it was more about Katie’s journey as a woman than about running. Then I came to a paragraph, and I knew I couldn’t let her read this book. In one paragraph as Katie was preparing for a long training run, her husband’s frustration shows and he says “How much longer are you going to keep doing this?”  later in that same encounter he made a snarky remark “Well I’d sure love to spend all day on the trails.” That could have been my wife. She constantly reminds me of my obligations, especially on a weekend or holiday. It is not that she (Or Katie’s husband) begrudges our running, but they want to remind us that there is more to life than running. They also want to remind us that there are two people in this relationship, not one.

Like Katie I was not an ultra or any kind of runner when I got married. Yet somewhere along the line at the ripe old age of 57 I ran my first ultra-marathon. Once you start running ultra-marathons you are a new person, and I definitely was not the same man she married.

While I did write our wedding vows, I know that I can’t recite them by heart like I did on my wedding day. I am pretty certain that there was nothing in them about “I will be at the aid station with your preferred electrolytes and food. That I will be sympathetic to you after you moan in pain after a grueling race that you entered of your own free will. Plus, you also paid for this pain.”

No nothing about running at all since this was over fifteen years before I started running. If I was a runner when we got married, I know my wife may not have changed the vows but made me sign a contract stipulating her being informed of what races I was signing up for 30 days in advance. How many running shoes I can have, and other numerous stipulations.

Seriously, couples can grow apart as they age. I am very conscious of how much I have changed since we exchanged vows. Ultra-running is a tremendous change and does affect relationships. It is not the races that are hard, but it is an everyday event because you must run almost every day. Maybe in the past your weekends as a couple were slow and relaxed but now, I have to do over two hours each day of running. So, a weekend is packed with little time to relax and do nothing. I spend hours a week running. Being married to an ultra-runner is different than other hobbies a spouse may have like say golf. That is because of its everyday commitment.

There are not only the time commitments which we sometimes seem to prioritize over everything else but frankly we are a different breed. We are looking to push our bodies to their limits and actually enjoy it. I have been on races and the rain has flooded a trail and we are trudging through mud that is ankle deep. Yet at obstacles like this the laughter and enthusiasm of the runners is at its loudest. It is not uncommon to be missing a toenail or two. Usually, one toenail may be purple. We are sometimes glad to throw up so that let’s us continue a race.

I know that I often feel a bit selfish by making sure I get my runs in. Yet this guilt forces me to make sure that I get my errands done, at least most of them. Okay some of them. Even so I have changed but mostly for the better I believe. That is because for some reason when I am out there running these races, I feel that is where I am supposed to be. In addition, the training for these races is part of that as well. It is hard to explain but it is your identity. A few times it looked like my running days may be coming to an end and I can tell you that was scary for me. Since I will be 65 soon, I know that running alongside me lurking just behind is Father Time looking for his opportunity to end my running days.

I know this sounds overly dramatic but running long distances has also given me a better understanding of life.  I know that is rather existential but for me it is true.

If you reread the last few paragraphs, you see the strange mind of an ultra-runner.  It is hard for many to understand our thinking and quirks. Just imagine being married to one. Especially if they took up this running after you were married and had kids. At least Katie’s husband runs too. He is not an ultra-runner but does pace her in the last miles of her races. For those not familiar with the term “pacer” it is another runner who runs alongside you. They usually come towards the end of the race when you may be at your lowest both mentally and physically. Their job is to encourage you and to do what they can to get to the finish line.

It occurred to me that while my wife will never be my pacer on a race. Her responsibility is greater, she is my pacer in life. Beside me even though I took a crazy turn along the way down a road of ultr-running. It is not easy being married or in a relationship with an ultra-runner.  If you have a supportive partner like me (and I believe Katie has.) then you are blessed.

One night my wife and I were sitting around the living room, and I read a text from someone who was inspired by my feats. She looked at me and said, “Now don’t let this go to your head but you are sometimes inspiring.”

Now that encapsulates the love of a spouse of an ultra-runner. It basically says I admire and love you, but I am not going to fawn over you. I will keep you grounded.”

That also was not in our wedding vows but maybe it was implied.

By the way I am going to let my wife read the book. Unfortunately, that negative exchange from Katie’s husband has food stains on it and can’t be read properly but I will tell her what she missed. He said “Honey run as long as you want I don’t mind.” I will also tell her it was in their wedding vows.