The Equalizer - Grit and Determination

I was walking in the field where all the runners were setting up their personal camps for a 30-hour 100 miles or more race, and taking in the scene with my wife. When these two women walking in the opposite direction are walking towards me and I can’t help but check them out. Even though my wife was right next to me. After they pass, I turned to my wife who also saw them, and we shook our heads. They looked like Amazon warriors. They were so fit and strong. I was checking them out as my competitors, and I obviously did not match up with their fitness. We looked around and most of the runners were incredibly fit.

You see all these other runners were for the most part younger, stronger, and more agile than me. I have to admit when I saw the other runners I was intimidated. I was sixty-two and attempting to run a hundred miles for the first time. While many of the runners like those women had bodies that turned heads. I did not. I was thinking to myself, that maybe I had gotten myself in over my head.

I had learned over time though that this was not a race, I was not racing the other runners. I had to ignore the competition and just go at my pace. I was racing against myself. I had my goal and a plan to get to it. Where I placed, was of little concern to me. Finishing however was. I was confident that even though I was older and slower than most of the others I was just as determined, maybe even more so. I was sixty-two years of age and not getting any faster, so I had limited opportunities left to do these races. They had the luxury of many future runs. I had fewer opportunities to fail. While it was my first attempt at 100 miles, I had endured many Tough Mudders, Spartan Races, and several 50 milers. So, I was used to tough challenges. Maybe I was naïve, but I was confident.

As the seventy-plus runners started, I felt good and was going strong. Since this was a loop race you saw the other runners often and I knew the strong ones. They would lap me once and a while. I confess that it is a bit deflating to get passed but I kept trudging on. While I was moving good there was something looming that worried me. That would be the necessity of running through the night. I will admit I was a bit fearful of running through the forest at night. It was the one thing I had never really done before but in order to reach my goal I had to confront that fear.

When night came, I was very tentative. I was going to walk not run since even with a headlamp it was hard to see the details of the trail. Yet I felt strong and running seemed better. So, after less than a mile I was inpatient, and I began to run. Running at night in a forest is strange. While I had run this loop many times before in the daylight it was not the same trail at night. The stumps, trees, and rock formations took on eerie shapes. Seeing some eyes watching me from the forest did nothing to ease my nervousness even if only was a deer. (I hoped!)

I was moving slower than during the day but I was still moving when I began to notice something. There were fewer runners on the trail. Many runners had decided to take a longer nap during the night. Running at night in the forest is not for everyone. Yet if you wanted to get to 100 miles you had to do it. I was planning on taking a short nap but otherwise just to keep moving.

Even among the strong athletes, there were fewer. There were only one or two who passed me at night. Apparently, some of them had burned themselves out by going out too fast or had some other issue with their food or injuries.  I know when I stopped at my tent, I heard some people moaning in pain. Others were completely asleep. While everyone else slept I kept moving steadily. I did have to take a short nap but felt rejuvenated and reenergized.

When morning broke, I realized that there were fewer runners. Some had apparently pushed themselves to their limit. What surprised me was that a couple were strong runners. One had at one point been leading the race. A couple of the other young athletes had trouble maintaining their pace.

I realized that I may have one attribute in greater abundance than some of the younger runners. I probably had more grit and determination. In fact, the next morning when my wife returned one of the “Amazon” women said to my wife “Your husband is amazing he never stops!” My wife told me this after the race.

I remember that all my focus when the sun came up was getting to that 100-mile mark. During each loop I would think of what food I would eat when and make sure I had enough fluids. It looked like I would be cutting it close to that 30-hour limit. The only thing that seemed to be draining my energy was my ability to do math. I was trying to calculate my pace and the time limit but for some reason I couldn’t. A lesson I learned is that after running over 90 miles and with no sleep for twenty-seven hours doing even simple math becomes difficult.

As the time ticked away and I was just over 29 hours I had only two miles left and had reached my goal of 100 miles. Out of the seventy-five runners only eleven had surpassed the 100-mile mark. Even some of the athletes whose bodies I was envious of had not reached that goal. I was the last one to get to that goal.

It was at this race that it was solidified in my mind that ultra-running is not only a physical challenge but also a mental challenge. As a runner you need to prepare not just physically but mentally for the race. Those other runners may have better physical assets than me, but I compensated with my grit and determination. It is something that I work on now as much as my physical training is my mental training and mindset.

Finally, sometimes when we start to compare ourselves to others all we see is how we don’t measure up. It is better to just be the best version of ourselves that we can be. Not everything is a competition – not even a race.

 

Connecting to the Land on a New England Country Run

My head was pounding a bit, and the idea of running was being rejected by almost every fiber in my body. I had had a great time at a family get together the night before. (Maybe even too good.) So, the overindulgence of food and drink was telling me “Enjoy life. You are on vacation. Relax and take a day off from running”. I compromised and slept an extra twenty minutes. Then, as I am apt to do especially on vacation, I donned my running gear and headed out for my run. My body, however, was not cooperating. Though this is common for me, the first couple of miles anywhere I run. That first mile or so, seems to be a struggle.

I came to a “T” and the road and made a right but soon saw that lead to a highway, so I immediately turned around and headed the other way. Soon I began a steady climb. This meant I had to work a little harder to go slower. I ran by an old cemetery which is common on these roads in New England. For some reason I find these cemeteries quite enchanting. There are headstones going back to the colonial era plus some in the twentieth century. It is a local history in one spot. I always look at these places and it is a collection of life stories that I will never know but somehow treasure. This cemetery lifted my spirits, and I took a mental note to take a picture of it on my way back.

I continued and the landscape began to open up. There was a large field and in the background behind it I could see Mount Belknap which is not yet part of the famed White Mountains, yet it stands out. I peered to the side of the road and saw rock walls that were beginning to be overtaken by Mother Nature and partially hidden, but I knew that they would be there because this is New England and like the headstones in the cemetery they date back to the birth of this nation.

There was little traffic on this road, but it seemed that half the cars that passed by were not cars but pickup trucks. A sign that I was in a rural area. There were more fields and views, and I was taking it all in. I spotted a flock of turkeys in one field. The houses were far apart, islands set in a sea of fields and forests. I started curiously peering into the yards to see what clues it gave to the type of life that was being lived there. It felt wrong like I was a Peeping Tom but I was beginning to take in all my surroundings not just the natural landscape but the people. What was that house doing with all the firewood strewn on the side of the house? Those three sets of children’s water shoes on the front steps meant that there was a swimming hole nearby I deduced. While this was at one time all farmland, I did not see anyone now growing crops or for that matter any farm animals. They were not toiling the land to make a living though in a twenty-first century way they were just as attached to the land.

At one house in the back was a barn with a huge American flag hanging on the outside wall. If you were going to film a scene for a commercial that screamed America that would be it. I could see the commercial now with someone parking their pickup truck under the flag and their trusty dog scampering out behind them. That is rural America.

Unlike when I am training for a race when I regularly check my watch for my distance and pace, this run was not just about the running. I was running, but my pace meant nothing. The distance meant very little as well, except to let me know how far I had to get back to my starting point. This run was more mindful and was about taking in my surroundings.

All runs for me are good. Yet not all runs are created equal. On a walk, my sister-in-law asked me my favorite run. I was surprised by the question and asked her “Do you mean a race?” Because most of my runs are not races. They are just my daily run, whether I am at home or like I am now, away.  I couldn’t really come up with an answer. First of all, I really do not have many favorites. I don’t have a favorite meal or dessert.  No favorite movie, TV show, or musical entertainer. I began by rattling off a couple of scenic races but knew that on the spur of the moment I couldn’t answer that question.

Looking back, however, there are two types of runs that standout. One will be a challenging race in which I am pushed to my limits but still finish. I love those runs. I feel a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, and glee at the end of those races.

The other is a different kind of run. It is like the one I was on in this New Hampshire country road. These runs are not about the distance, pace, or difficulty. It is about enjoying being alive and able to move. Being in touch with your surroundings. I described this once before in a previous blog – Running in Strange Places, But it bears repeating. You understand an area much better when you traverse it on your own two feet. You will not get this same sensation driving at 50mph or even slowly at 25mph.  On your own two feet it is an experience that engages all your senses not just the sense of sight.

As I headed back, I stopped at the cemetery and took a quick photo. I pondered the history and stories of the people and the land. For a short time on the run, I felt a personal connection to this land. I know that is not possible, since I am a stranger here. Yet somehow it was. I was seeing this land not just through my own eyes but through the generations that lived here.

New England is a land steeped in history and tradition. All you need to do is take steps with your two feet and use all your senses and you will appreciate it.

 

 

Pain is Evidence of Living a Full Life

I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah, with every broken bone
I swear I lived

One Republic

As I sit at the keyboard, I am having a hard time because my upper arm is in pain and when I move it, I can’t help but wince in pain. The Ibuprofen I took, having very little effect in minimizing my pain.  I look down at my feet and my one toe is all black and blue and another is missing a toenail. On the plus side the scabs from a recent fall on a trail run are almost gone and the blackeye from taking a header on another trail race is just a post on Facebook now. These injuries are the courtesy of an above average active lifestyle of running and, in the summer playing volleyball.

While I do my best to avoid injuries, I am not always very successful. They happen fairly often though they are usually just small things that just slow me down and do not stop me. It happens often enough that on my way out of the house for trail race or volleyball game my wife’s loving words of encouragement are not “Good luck. I know you will crush it!” oh no. It is the words “Don’t come home hurt.” Which she says in the same tone as when she would lecture our kids when they were five years old about negative behavior.

So obviously the hardest part about these injuries is telling my wife. Because I know she will not be sympathetic. No because as she says “No sympathy for stupidity!” It is her time to be a bit smug and without saying the words but letting me know “I told you so.”

I am sure you are wondering why a man now in his sixties would still do activities that have a high probability of causing injury or some type of pain? While also to make matters worse, will get no sympathy from his family.

Sometimes I ask myself the same question but in a different way. What I will ask myself is “Are you still up to this challenge? and “Are you too old for the challenge?” Finally, “Is it worth the risk?” Obviously, the answer so far is to keep pushing myself.

When you are pushing yourself as much as you can injuries and pain are inevitable. They are small obstacles put in your path to challenge you. They can also make you smarter because they are learning opportunities, the more I run the more I try and avoid injuries learning from past mistakes. I obviously am a slow learner as my missing toenails, swollen feet, and black eyes attest to.

Yet I don’t believe that you can live life fully unless you are fully engaged. Often that means a rugged trail race or ultra marathon. Yet it does not have to be an athletic or physical activity. It could be professional or personal. Think about a promotion that you did not get that you tried for. Think about when you were younger (Actually any age.) and you said “I love you.” And it was not reciprocated. I have experienced those bruises too. Frankly they hurt more than a missing toenail or blackeye.

When I was in the last few miles of running almost two-hundred miles from the top of New Jersey to the bottom, my friend Kevin who was running alongside me and was playing music to keep us motivated and inspired asked what song would I like? I asked for an usual song that was not “Eye of the Tiger” or “We are the Champions!” or any other traditional hard driving song. No, I asked for “I Lived” by One Republic. This is not their biggest hit, but it speaks to me. The lines “Yeah, with every broken bone -I Swear I Lived.” Is how I look at not just attacking my running, but attacking life itself. You go all out. You push yourself.

That is because you do not know what you are capable of unless you try. Inevitably you will fall or get hurt either physically or emotionally. It is not pleasant but at least it is a sign that you are giving it your all.

On my most recent trail race I took five falls. A personal high. On the last one it was a complete header. I face-planted and my glasses were hanging on one ear the water bladders flew from my vest. I slowly got up and tried to regain my composure. Another runner came up behind me and she had witnessed my ungraceful display of agility. She helps me gather my stuff up and offered me some sympathy. Obviously, the runner was not my wife.

I continued on, slightly in pain and with the beginning of a blackeye. Several miles from the finish I passed another runner who was now walking. I asked how he was doing. He said “I fell three times and decided to walk it in because it was not worth an injury.” I remained quiet and did not tell him my haphazard running experience. I know that if my wife heard that two struggling runners met and one played it safe and walked it in and one disregarded the obstacles and pain and pushed on quickly. She would know which one was her husband. The stupid one.

Yet when I crossed the finish line, I was exhausted and almost immediately my body stiffened up. All the adrenaline was gone and walking to the car I looked like an eighty-year-old man. My muscles cramped slightly as I slowly eased my way into my car. I was exhausted and in pain. A common occurrence after a race like this. Yet despite all that I felt so alive. The song started playing in my head “Yeah, with every broken bone -I Swear I Lived.” I have the scars to prove it.

 

 

 

 

Finding my Roger Bannister for Being Old

Roger Banister is famous for breaking the four-minute mile mark. It was a record that runners had chased for decades to no avail. It was thought by many that it was impossible for a human to run a mile that fast. It was also thought that if it was somehow accomplished that the running conditions would have to be perfect. Yet when he broke the record it was a cold wet day. Yet on the day he did it more than a record was broken. He showed the world what was possible. A month and half later John Landry broke the four-minute mile and then thirteen months later three runners in the same race no less broke the four minute mile. Now-a-days even high schoolers run sub four-minute miles.  It was Roger Bannister, however, who showed us all a new possibility. A physical activity went from impossible to possible for all who followed. It is sometimes called the “Bannister Effect”.

Think about his impact of changing the mindset and creating a new possibility for all runners to follow. Think about the impact if something that seemed far flung or even impossible now becomes very possible to you personally. That happened to me with my friend Richard. He gave me a new vision about being older. I never really thought about what it would be like to be in my 60’s. 70’s, 80’s or even my 90’s.

Being old just happens. You don’t really plan for it even though it is inevitable. You work until you retire. Then you do what retired people do. You look around and see what people who are older are doing. That seems to be the only options available to you. They seem to have fun as long as they have a nest egg and good health (Though all seem to have some medical issue.). Active ones play golf, swim, walk, play cards, join a book club or senior citizens organization. I was fearing getting old because I couldn’t picture myself having a more sedentary lifestyle. My father was always working in his yard or the garage doing physical labor until cancer took him in his eighties. My mother is very spry and alert at 96. So maybe genetically sitting around is not for me. Yet the options did not inspire me to look forward to retirement.

I did begin to think about being in my 70’s when I turned fifty. I was in fairly good shape but not great shape. I decided I wanted to hike mountains when I retire and not just look at them or drive up to the top. So, I began training to be 75.

I began running and doing various races from Tough Mudder’s and Spartan to trail races. I knew however I had a limited time to do this, that Father Time (If you want to read about my battles with  Father Time read this blog.)would one day put a stop to my fun. As part of my fitness training, I joined an online group that set a goal of running and/or walking 1,000 miles in a year. Something that is very doable. The site had a few articles and a leaderboard and also a discussion page.

In the discussion page there was not a ton of posts, but I enjoyed it and after a while there were a few of us that were regulars. I enjoyed my online banter with Cynthia, Debby, and Richard. We always stayed positive and encouraged each other to reach our goals. In the years we were doing this Richard always amazed me.  You see Richard was in his 90’s. I remember at the end of February I was doing about 100 miles per month and was feeling pretty impressed with myself, until I looked up and Richard was ahead of me!

Richard not only walked and ran a lot, but he also competed in master track events. Usually placing in the various events whether it be a 100 meter dash, long jump, or 200 meter race. He was still an athlete.

That is why Richard changed me. He showed me that he was an athlete even after the age of 90. That was not something I thought was an option or even possible. Sure, I had seen YouTube clips of 80- and 90-year-olds finishing a race but this was different. Richard and I regularly communicated with each other. Even after the website went defunct, we stayed in contact. As Richard would say “We were unseen friends.” We had a connection, so his feats really hit home and had an impact.

I now decided that I was an athlete but that was not a temporary label but a permanent self-image of myself. I finally knew what I would do when or if I retire. I would still enter races and compete. I would run till I couldn’t anymore. I now knew what was possible not for others but for me. Like those runners pursuing the sub four-minute mile after Roger Bannister They knew that their dream was attainable. That gives you confidence to strive for your goal. Richard did that for me.

So I may retire from work but not from competing. I don’t expect to win many if any events, but I can still compete. Like the runners who followed Roger Bannister they had a different mindset I had new mindset about getting old. From my way of thinking getting old is all about your mindset.

One of the things I pride myself on in my races is that I always like to finish strong. Running the last mile or so with whatever energy I have left. I don’t want to walk or just slowly trod across the finish line. This even though it will not change my place in the standings. There is a high at the finish line when you know that you have given it your all. I know that this sounds trite, but I want to end my life the same way. I don’t want my final years being sedentary and slow moving. I want it to end like the race. Me always pushing my body and mind to do more.

Now Richard was impressed with my tough trail races and ultra-marathons but what I never told him was his impact on me. I recently finished first in my age group in a tough trail marathon. (Actually, it was 28 miles.) That was not because I was particularly fast but because I was the only one in that age group. I hope that maybe, just maybe, in the future one or two people who are younger than me will see a man in his 60’s running in these races and say hey I was going to stop but if this old guy can do so can I – after all it is possible. Sometimes all we need to push ourselves is to know that something is possible. Thank you, Richard.

A Different Man Since the Exchanging of Wedding Vows

I was reading the book Running Home by Katie Arnold. She, like me, is an accidental ultra runner. Though I really don’t know anyone who had a life plan to become an ultra-runner. You somehow find an urge to try an ultra-marathon and before you know it, you’re addicted. Unlike me who is more middle of the pack runner who lives in New Jersey, Katie lives in New Mexico and is a very accomplished ultra runner, as well as writer. Besides ultra running we have very little in common except one other thing. It is something that I wish I could ask other ultra runners about. That is the impact of ultra running on your spouse or significant other.

As I was reading the book, I told my wife she should read the book. My wife would not naturally be drawn to reading a running book. But as I told her it was more about Katie’s journey as a woman than about running. Then I came to a paragraph, and I knew I couldn’t let her read this book. In one paragraph as Katie was preparing for a long training run, her husband’s frustration shows and he says “How much longer are you going to keep doing this?”  later in that same encounter he made a snarky remark “Well I’d sure love to spend all day on the trails.” That could have been my wife. She constantly reminds me of my obligations, especially on a weekend or holiday. It is not that she (Or Katie’s husband) begrudges our running, but they want to remind us that there is more to life than running. They also want to remind us that there are two people in this relationship, not one.

Like Katie I was not an ultra or any kind of runner when I got married. Yet somewhere along the line at the ripe old age of 57 I ran my first ultra-marathon. Once you start running ultra-marathons you are a new person, and I definitely was not the same man she married.

While I did write our wedding vows, I know that I can’t recite them by heart like I did on my wedding day. I am pretty certain that there was nothing in them about “I will be at the aid station with your preferred electrolytes and food. That I will be sympathetic to you after you moan in pain after a grueling race that you entered of your own free will. Plus, you also paid for this pain.”

No nothing about running at all since this was over fifteen years before I started running. If I was a runner when we got married, I know my wife may not have changed the vows but made me sign a contract stipulating her being informed of what races I was signing up for 30 days in advance. How many running shoes I can have, and other numerous stipulations.

Seriously, couples can grow apart as they age. I am very conscious of how much I have changed since we exchanged vows. Ultra-running is a tremendous change and does affect relationships. It is not the races that are hard, but it is an everyday event because you must run almost every day. Maybe in the past your weekends as a couple were slow and relaxed but now, I have to do over two hours each day of running. So, a weekend is packed with little time to relax and do nothing. I spend hours a week running. Being married to an ultra-runner is different than other hobbies a spouse may have like say golf. That is because of its everyday commitment.

There are not only the time commitments which we sometimes seem to prioritize over everything else but frankly we are a different breed. We are looking to push our bodies to their limits and actually enjoy it. I have been on races and the rain has flooded a trail and we are trudging through mud that is ankle deep. Yet at obstacles like this the laughter and enthusiasm of the runners is at its loudest. It is not uncommon to be missing a toenail or two. Usually, one toenail may be purple. We are sometimes glad to throw up so that let’s us continue a race.

I know that I often feel a bit selfish by making sure I get my runs in. Yet this guilt forces me to make sure that I get my errands done, at least most of them. Okay some of them. Even so I have changed but mostly for the better I believe. That is because for some reason when I am out there running these races, I feel that is where I am supposed to be. In addition, the training for these races is part of that as well. It is hard to explain but it is your identity. A few times it looked like my running days may be coming to an end and I can tell you that was scary for me. Since I will be 65 soon, I know that running alongside me lurking just behind is Father Time looking for his opportunity to end my running days.

I know this sounds overly dramatic but running long distances has also given me a better understanding of life.  I know that is rather existential but for me it is true.

If you reread the last few paragraphs, you see the strange mind of an ultra-runner.  It is hard for many to understand our thinking and quirks. Just imagine being married to one. Especially if they took up this running after you were married and had kids. At least Katie’s husband runs too. He is not an ultra-runner but does pace her in the last miles of her races. For those not familiar with the term “pacer” it is another runner who runs alongside you. They usually come towards the end of the race when you may be at your lowest both mentally and physically. Their job is to encourage you and to do what they can to get to the finish line.

It occurred to me that while my wife will never be my pacer on a race. Her responsibility is greater, she is my pacer in life. Beside me even though I took a crazy turn along the way down a road of ultr-running. It is not easy being married or in a relationship with an ultra-runner.  If you have a supportive partner like me (and I believe Katie has.) then you are blessed.

One night my wife and I were sitting around the living room, and I read a text from someone who was inspired by my feats. She looked at me and said, “Now don’t let this go to your head but you are sometimes inspiring.”

Now that encapsulates the love of a spouse of an ultra-runner. It basically says I admire and love you, but I am not going to fawn over you. I will keep you grounded.”

That also was not in our wedding vows but maybe it was implied.

By the way I am going to let my wife read the book. Unfortunately, that negative exchange from Katie’s husband has food stains on it and can’t be read properly but I will tell her what she missed. He said “Honey run as long as you want I don’t mind.” I will also tell her it was in their wedding vows.

 

 

 

 

Aging, Denial, and the Man in the Mirror

I was recently looking at a photograph from a family wedding when I saw this older man with my sister, brothers, and my in-laws. I was trying to figure out who it was. Then it dawned on me. It was me! I was that old guy!  I was a bit taken back. It was like the first time that I realized that I was old. How could that be? I mean I see myself in the mirror every day when I shave, brush my teeth, and comb my hair. That guy does not seem that old. Yes, there is gray hair, but it is a full head of hair. Granted when I come out of the shower, I am not wearing my glasses so maybe my vision is a bit off. That photograph, however, was like I was seeing myself for the first time as others see me.

I believe we all have an image of how we look to the outside world. It is based in part on fact, but also in part it is based on a delusion. I am a perfect example of this. I do not see the older man in his sixties that other people see. I think of myself as a forty-year-old. Not real young but most definitely not an old man. Okay maybe a lot delusional.

Many others see me at work and ask me when I am going to retire? I can understand that because I have been working there a long time. Yet when the man giving me a ride back home while my car was being serviced asked me the same question about retiring, it stung, it really stung. You would have thought that by now I would have gotten the hint. Yet I still have a hard time accepting my age.

This is not just an internal debate. Now my algorithms are even debating how old I am. On my Facebook feed, retirement advisors keep popping up. Recently in the mail I received fliers from strangers who are very interested in my upcoming 65^th birthday. Not because they are hoping to get invited to a birthday party, but I will soon be eligible for Medicare. They really want to help me. I can’t help but think they believe they need to help this old man understand the system because his mind is too feeble.

Yet there are other ads that follow me. Trail races across the country appear continuously saying that they are the race for me. Emails fly in about any 5K race east of the Mississippi (and a few west of the Mississippi as well). Not only that but obviously if I go to all these races, I need the proper running shoes. Ads follow me everywhere that spout that you are an athlete who should be spending his money on races and shoes.

The thing I am pondering is which conflicting algorithm is right? The one telling me to slow down and retire or the one that says let’s go run an ultra-marathon? Which Ray am I? The old one in the photo or the young one in my head who wants to go out in the rain and run nine miles?

Reflecting on this, it came to me, that maybe this is not an either-or proposition. Maybe our society and the algorithms need to adjust to me. Why can’t one be both sixty-four and run ultra marathons? I mean I look at both algorithms and agree. Yes, I do want to retire. Why? So that I can spend all my time running races across the globe.

Coming to grips with the aging process is not always easy. That is because it is slow and creeps up on you. One day you walk all day with ease and with a pep in your step. Then one day you are winded going up one flight of stairs. You look at old photos of yourself and cringe barely recognizing yourself. I remember one day a co-worker came up to me and said they were looking at old photos when I had first started. She said in what she thought was a compliment “You were good looking!” I retorted the optimum word there is “were”.

We all try and stave off the effects of aging and stay looking young. After all, men and women dye their hair to hide the gray. Plastic surgeons make a very good living making us look younger. There are various skin creams out there designed to eliminate wrinkles. It is a thriving industry to try and stop the aging process.

These are all products designed to make our outside appearance seem younger. Yet the aging process is more internal than external. Yet if you work at it, you can keep a youthful outlook on life even with gray hair. With just a little exercise you will not get winded, when going up the stairs. This is why I like running.

I look at my body as a vehicle, a car. While it has aged and shows wear in areas it is still in good shape. The key however is that the driver, which is my mindset, is still young. He still likes to push himself. He is daring but not reckless. In fact, he is wiser than when he was as a twenty-year-old. Yet he is not old and likes to compete and try new things.

Okay I will admit to one guilty pleasure about aging. When I am in a race no matter what the distance and I pass a thirty something year-old. I love it! When I look at the race results and while I am not among the top finishers I am usually near the middle and there are so many people way younger than me who finish with slower times than me. To me that is a victory. I revel in it.

There is one other thing about running that makes me feel younger besides keeping my body in better shape and that immature guilty pleasure, I just mentioned. It is that almost all the people I meet and have fun with are younger than me. While I am almost one of the oldest competitors nothing about the event shouts geriatric.  It is a forward-looking crowd. Yet when I am at a function or social setting with people in their 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s the conversation always seems to come back to medical ailments and people who are sick that we know. Conversations that definitively shout geriatric.

Aging to a great degree is a mindset. Yes, the body does show wear and tear, but you can still have a youthful view of life. Maybe that is just a slight case of denial, but I am okay with that. I just looked in the bathroom mirror again and at the photo of the old man at the wedding. Now I can see that the lighting in the photo was bad and who knows maybe the photo was doctored to make me look older. Okay maybe a lot in denial but I am still okay with that.

 

 

 

The Power of Kindness Defeats Failure on a NJ Run

I was trudging along shuffling my feet in an exceedingly slow run. My running partner Anthony was off in the distance, and I kept my eyes locked on his green vest. Sometimes he was just a small faraway glimmer in the darkness as it was the wee hours of the night. What I needed was rest and time to sleep but the one thing we did not have was time. We were way behind on our schedule of running the length of New Jersey from the Southern point of the Cape May Lighthouse to the High Point Monument.

There were three of us planning to do this epic run which Anthony and I had completed in the reverse direction two years earlier. Yet on the first day there were some signs that this trek might be more difficult than the first. Dave, the third runner, had a work emergency the night before we ran and was having difficulty keeping up with the pace we needed to maintain in order to finish by Sunday. He languished for a few hours trying to stay with it but in the end in the early evening he pulled out and just decided to help my wife crew us. Something that he was amazingly good at.

Anthony and I maintained a brisk pace after that to make up for lost time, but we arrived at our rest stop, a friend’s house exhausted about five hours behind schedule. We had also run for twenty-four hours straight and been awake for over twenty-five hours.  

We started the next day great, but we had started so much later than we had anticipated so that by the time we got to the early evening we were still well behind. Now I was the one who was struggling. I could feel that I needed to sleep but our designated rest area was miles away and it looked like we would not arrive there till the sun was coming up. Anthony and Dave were worried about me. While doing math after running over 100 miles with almost no sleep is near impossible for me. I was aware enough to know that we could not finish until sometime that Monday.

Then Dave and Anthony suggested let’s finish as a relay. Each of us doing a leg. I was not thrilled with the idea because it felt like a failure to me of not covering every mile, but I had no choice but to agree. I then tried to sleep in the back of the car with some modicum of success. Anthony, who was by far the strongest runner went on to the next designated stop. He was hopeful that he could complete the run. We had decided to go “lean and mean” no major crew no long pit stops. Dave and I, taking turns with Anthony and driving to the next stop. At the moment we had two vehicles with Sebastion who worked with Dave driving his pickup and carrying half the gear.

I was still dejected about my performance when we got a call and it was Anthony. He was in really bad shape at the next stop. We got him in the car to warm up because he was very cold. The temperature had dropped, and he was tired. I felt that it was all over at that moment. I even called my wife Patty, and said I am not sure if we will make it. Dave then took the next leg just before sunrise. I had scouted the route that he would be on and was glad that the sun would come up because it was a beautiful area on country dirt roads with horse farms.

I drove to the next stop, which was the ShopRite in Chester as did Sebastion. He was going to empty his truck and we would reload our Honda CRV. It was bleak. We had all the gear strewn in the parking lot and began repacking the car. I was mentally defeated, and Anthony’s body was physically beaten. The thought of going on because I had the next leg seemed farfetched. I had also posted that we had switched to a relay format so that people did not feel obligated to cheer us on or run with us.

I was trying to come to grips with my failure in the parking lot. I knew that there was no way I could continue. My spirit was just a warm ember. Then something miraculous happened. This run was dubbed the New Jersey Kindness Run espousing the power of kindness. Yet I, the most vocal proponent of its power would be surprised by its strength.

It started innocently enough Patty and my niece Anna arrived with some food and support. Then my brother Greg showed up. Then my friend Dan arrived soon after because he wanted to run his first ultra-marathon. He was excited to run the next leg. Then to my surprise Rose and Rob arrived. I had known Rose for years through work and had always liked the two of them. Nicole who was a friend of Anthony shows up, and she is over eight months pregnant. They were all excited about our accomplishment so far. While I was down on our achievement, they were the opposite.

Dan was excited to begin his ultra journey. Then Rob said he was running as well. My wife looked at me and she was the one I had confessed my failure too. Then she said “You have no choice but to run.” I smiled because I knew that she was right. Besides that their positivity and kindness had not only touched my heart but lifted my spirits. I ran nine miles with Rob and Dan and it was great. We were not doing a blistering pace but we were chatting and having fun.

As we came into the next stop which was a large QuickChek I saw the cars in the back and they were cheering for us. I was happy but then tears welled up in my eyes when I saw my daughter there cheering me on with a sign that said “That’s my dad!” She and her boyfriend had driven in from Connecticut to cheer us on. Then my cousin showed up and my sister and brother-in-law. Followed by Bethany, a former school board member I had worked with. It was a party! We had chairs opened up the back of the cars opened it looked like a tailgate party. In fact, one guy driving by rolled his window down and asked “Where’s the firepit?”

More people joined as we traveled from one leg to the next. My mood was completely shifted. I was happy and energized. When I ran my next leg with my other brother Gerald as well as Dan. I was not trudging I was running with joy. Anthony even commented to me about how great it was to see me laugh and smile. Even when I glanced at my phone, I could see the positive messages appearing on my feed. It was so uplifting.

In the wee hours I was at my darkest and lowest point. I was not sure I could go on. Yet the support and kindness of my friends and family had lifted me up out of that funk. I am pretty sure I would not have finished if it was just the three of us doing it. That is the power of kindness. It lifts up individuals when they need it the most.

I think that is a very important lesson. You do not need to run an ultra-marathon to hit a low point. It happens in life. We need others to show us kindness and support.

Someone said to me after we had finished our running journey. You must be “basking in your achievement.” “No” I said. “I am basking in the support, love and kindness that my family and friends showed me.”  If I have a great achievement in life, it is to have so many kind and supportive family and friends in my life.  Maybe that is the key to great individual achievement. Realizing that it is not an individual effort and that you received kindness along the way.

The Starting Point for this Challenging Adventure was Using a Cane

I was opening my Facebook page when a memory came up for me to share. It was only from a year ago but it showed how far I had come in that year. It was a picture of a cane. It was a small step in my recovery from a stress fracture in my right knee. I was switching from crutches to a cane. A sign that I was on the mend. Yet here I am now almost exactly a year later planning on doing an almost 200 mile run. I had almost forgotten that I had that injury or at least it felt much longer ago.

As I write this I am only a couple of days away from running the length of New Jersey with two friends and a host of family and friends who will volunteer to help. I had been so consumed with the logistics of the run that I had felt that it was an adventure that started when we announced the run at the beginning of 2024. Yet this running journey began a year ago with me on my butt. Unable to walk let alone run.

I was so consumed with the future I had forgotten my roots. Yet now I was intrigued by the journey that was appearing on my Facebook memory.  It seemed a lifetime ago. Yet sometimes that is the way life is. A past experience seems like a different life. I went back to blog I wrote about my feelings and emotions of the injury. I read it to see if it matched what my recollections were.

To my surprise my memory of my feelings and emotions were pretty on point. It was a mix of bravado, determination, and fear. I was also taken by what I told the doctor in his office when he said I had to stop running and use crutches.

“When I run my next 100 mile run or the state of New Jersey again. I will let you know, so that other patients know what is possible.”

Actually, after I did my 100+ mile run in the fall I realized I never did let the doctor know. My mistake it is good for patients to know that complete recovery is possible.

Yet as I prepare to take that first step on my New Jersey running journey I am now taking time to reflect on a journey that I know a few people thought I would not be able to take at my age. Yet there were lessons in that journey that will help me in future hard journeys.

One of the biggest lessons learned was not a new one, but one that I had learned doing ultra-marathons. Break the goals into manageable parts.  Usually running 100 miles seems overwhelming especially when you are feeling a little tired but just running say ten miles to the next aid station is much more doable. Before you know it, the last aid station is five miles away and it means you have attained what you thought was impossible.

With my rehab I did the same thing. I went from crutches to using a cane. Then started walking without one. I also made sure that I was diligent about my physical therapy. I went to Jag Physical Therapy and worked with the staff there to continue my progress not so that I can walk again but so that I could run. This is not meant to be an advertisement for them, but they were a key partner in my comeback. That is because my goal was their goal. They wanted me to run again too.

I still remember the moment one of the physical therapist took me outside to the back of the office and said try and run. It was a moment that scared me. Yet it was an important step that I needed to take. This partnership with them was another lesson. We all need other people to support and encourage us. This is especially true when times are difficult.

After my physical therapy it was a slow ramp up from a 5K to a six-hour trail loop run, a marathon and then a 100 mile run. At each step I was methodical. They were each my next aid station.

There was a third lesson. That is that my rehab was not just on my body, but it was on my brain as well. Physical injuries will affect you mentally as well. I was literally running scared in the beginning. My steps were tentative and I was concentrating on my knee. It took a while before my mind not to think like I was an injured person. That was when I was healed when the mind and body ran together.

If you have ever hiked up a mountain and along the trail there is a great view of the valley below, I am at that stage. You gaze at the valley below with awe because this is why we hike mountains for the view. You also then look for where you started, and it looks so far and you take pride that your legs have taken you so far. I am at that point on my journey. Looking back with a little pride. But now I will turn my head from the valley below to the peak ahead. The journey is not over. I still have to navigate a difficult route before I reach my goal.

After that there is only one thing to do. Send an email to a doctor.

Recognize those Kindness Opportunities

Sometimes practicing what you preach is not always easy. I have recently been preaching that we should all practice the act of kindness more. It was one of my lessons from my first run of the length of New Jersey from its most Northern point the High Point Monument to the Southern at the Cape May Lighthouse. I am again attempting this feat though in reverse from South to North and this time even naming my attempt the New Jersey Kindness Run.

Yet while it seems easy to practice kindness especially with family and friends, often it takes a little extra effort. This is especially true with people you do not know well or who are complete strangers. That is why it stands out. Yet opportunities arise often and almost always unexpectedly.  Those are the times that more is demanded of you. It means doing a little extra.

Those of you who know me know that I love ultra and trail running because it pushes me to do more. Well kindness is the same way. It is not always the easiest path. Yet like running, the rewards are just as significant if not greater. Let me give you an example.

I was working at maybe my favorite type of program at work. It is called the “Unsung Hero” program where we honor students who fly under the radar but inspire their fellow students and even their staff with their ability to overcome obstacles and remain positive. They also are also almost always ambassadors of kindness.

In any case I was called over because the mother and the grandmother of one of the girls being honored had an issue. The grandmother was in a wheelchair and they were going to place them with the other wheelchair attendees which was in the middle of the auditorium but there was an issue. The mother looked at me and said “I am deaf but can’t read sign language (We had a sign language interpreter on stage.) but I read lips. What can you do?”  I immediately looked to the front of the auditorium to see if there were empty seats in the front row. I spied a few and immediately started saying “Yes I will move you to the front row.” When I realized that I wasn’t looking at her so she had no idea what I was saying. I am just a bustling ball of energy using exaggerated body language and not always looking at the person I am talking to. A bad habit I know but, in this case, horrible. While it was an instinctive response I still beat myself up over my lapse.

I quickly gained hold of my senses and looked her in the eye and told her that I have some seats in the front row. I have to admit when you have to stop and look someone in the eye to talk to them without doing anything else there is more of a connection with that person. I felt that with her and knew I had to help her so that she could see her daughter being honored. So, I sat her in the front row with her mother next to her. Not directly in front of the podium but in the front row off to the side. I was rather proud of myself for solving that problem.

Maybe because it was because of talking to her eye to eye, when I had a moment, when I was not doing something for the program. I looked up to the podium to see what I could see from the speakers. Specifically, if I could see their lips. Since I was standing in her vicinity, I was curious about reading lips. To my surprise, while I could see the speakers lip some of the time, the lighting was difficult and the distance and angle made it difficult to see their lips.

So, I walked over to her and looked her in the eyes and said “can you read their lips?” She politely gave a gesture that it was so-so. I didn’t have to read minds then to know that she was struggling.

This was my kindness opportunity. Yes, I had done a lot. Maybe even more than most people. Yet she needed more. We had time since her daughter was not scheduled to be honored until later in the program but I wanted her to enjoy the entire program. So, my coworker and I then moved her to a seat that had been vacated right near the podium. We put her grandmother right up front in front of her. They then enjoyed the program.

I am not telling this story to pat myself on the back. No, but to say that opportunities to show kindness just appear without warning. We really can’t go searching for them. My first act of moving her up front may seem like an act of kindness, but it was really just doing my job. It is when you put yourself in someone else’s position, is when the kindness opportunities arise. When I attempted to read lips on my own.

After the program was over and people were enjoying some refreshments and leaving I saw the woman as she was leaving. She looked at me and said “Thank you” and we hugged and said good bye. We did not know each other’s names and will almost certainly never see each other again. That moment we hugged made me feel so good.

I have written about the power of a finisher medal in races. It makes the pain and difficulty of a race go away. You then start thinking of signing up for another race. That moment with that woman was my finisher medal. When someone thanks you for that act of kindness it makes you feel better about yourself. It doesn’t need to be as dramatic a thank you as our hug was. Maybe just a smile or a nod. It will still have the same effect.

I can tell you with certainty, that kindness opportunities will arise. They may require a little extra effort but when they do. Take advantage of them. You will thank me later.

Battling my Inner Voice

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.

Sir Edmund Hillary

I have run many ultra-marathons and have even run the entire length of my home state of New Jersey from top to bottom, about 196 miles. I am planning on doing this run again. Though this time from the southernmost point to the northern. I have even addressed audiences about my ultra experiences particularly the New Jersey run. In doing so I regale them with the ups and downs of such feats but there is definitely an air of inevitability to the tales. I explain my “why” in these presentations. Which is of believing in challenging oneself. That our greatest personal achievements are accomplished because they were difficult. That I think aging is not slowing down. That we are capable of more than we think.

I do it with an air of confidence. That it is easy. Frankly after several years of this I am not really challenged about my why and my ability to do these running feats at my age by anyone. Except one person. This person will challenge me and say “Bull sh$#@! You are not as tough as you appear. You are getting old and slowing down. You are just in denial.” The confidence that I thought I was oozing evaporates when they confront me. Is it just my male ego (My motto is never underestimate the stupidity of the male ego.) that drives me?  Is it wrong to push myself this way? I also know this person who challenges me knows whether I am being honest or not.

The person who challenges me most about my decisions is – myself. My inner voice that says very often “Don’t do it!” My inner voice has impeccable timing. It waits until I am most vulnerable and weak, then it makes its argument. It waits until the weather turns while I am on an ultra-marathon and going uphill and say “You are getting too old for this.” After I suffered a stress fracture of my right knee it again whispered so that only I could hear. “See it is time to stop this nonsense. You are getting old.” I really hate that he always brings up my age.

This inner voice has good intentions. It wants to protect me from harm. It wants to keep me safe and warm. As I am running in the rain or snow it will whisper in my ear “I hear golf is a great game. Most men your age take it up.” It will point out all the possible dangers.

I will admit that sometimes I will give in to this voice or at least compromise. For example, on one tough trail race I walked the last six miles or so because of a bad pain in my ankle and rather than risk further injury I walked. On another tough race I told my inner voice don’t worry this is my last time doing this. Which I truly meant at the time. Yet when I finished and received the finishers medal my mood changed instantly and soon, I was scouring the web for another race.

That feeling of accomplishment at the end of grueling run is what keeps me going and is also my “why”. You see I have another voice in my head. (Yes, I know you are wondering how many voices do I have? No time to explain that, but for this blog it is just two.) The other voice is a dreamer. It wonders what I can do if I just try. It says you are capable of more than you think but first you have to get your butt off the couch and move. It says don’t wait for the perfect time to do something. The time to do the things you want is now. If you wait for the perfect time, you probably will really be too old.

This inner voice gets louder with every success. Even small successes. When I finished my first ultra-marathon, a 50-mile run. It was not a pretty sight. I was walking slowly at the end. Yet that finisher medal lifted my spirits. That inner voice started to shout over the careful voice. “You see you did it! You know what? I think if you did it again you would do it better.” That voice was right. I took the lessons I learned from the previous run and improved dramatically the next year. You see success breeds more success and confidence.

That inner voice also shouts when things are tough and my other protective voice is saying “You are getting old.” The daring voice is saying “You have faced these obstacles before and persevered. Just keep moving.”

We all have these two voices in our head. One that dreams and one that is protective. Now I am not saying just to listen to that daring voice that dreams. I like to think that I listen to both voices. I am daring but I am not reckless. That protective voice forces me to plan out the big challenges. I am saying listen to BOTH voices. Many of us play life safe and only listen to the protective voice. Our biggest regrets in life are not the things we did but the things we did not do. We wonder what if?

It is not easy following that daring voice because the partner on your journey as you move forward is “failure”. It is always lurking in the vicinity. You are not only facing the challenges of your decision but the possibility that you might fail. Your protective voice always says if you don’t attempt it you can’t fail. Yet you likely can’t have a great accomplishment without facing the possibility of failure.

It is funny when I began this blog I thought I knew what I wanted to say about my “why” but I found that I may have been wrong.  The biggest challenge and obstacle I face is myself. Getting over my fear of failure.  My “why” is pushing myself not to be complacent and settle for the easy path. This is a never-ending battle that happens every day. Just going out for a training run there is a battle among the two voices in my head. It is also not just about running. It occurs in many of my life’s decisions.

Do you listen to both voices?

 

 

 

Why a Kindness Run?

I was coming to the end of my 196 mile running journey. Almost 65 hours which included about four hours of sleep, constantly moving the rest of the time. What was I feeling? Surprisingly it wasn’t fatigue. No, it was a strange emotion. Tears were streaming from my eyes. The run which I had originally done to test and push my body to its limits was something more than a physical and mental challenge. It was a journey of emotions and spirituality as well. It was almost an entire life’s journey in 65 hours that had changed me. The man who started the journey at the High Point Monument in New Jersey’s Northwestern point was not the same man who ended at the Cape May Lighthouse at New Jersey’s southernmost point.

I had taken away many lessons from that journey. Some that I had already knew but were reinforced. Such as that we are capable of more than we think if we give it our all.  Also, aging does not mean slowing down. That we have to have a gritty mindset and keep moving forward even when times are tough. These are all quite traditional American principles. Yet there was one thing that surprised me. That was the power of kindness.

I always practiced kindness because that was the way I was raised as a child. Yet on this running journey I found that kindness has strength and power. Not something we associate with kindness. Every time a friend or family member drove an hour or more just to cheer us on for five minutes, it inspired me and my co-runner Anthony. When strangers who heard about our run cheered us on and encouraged us to go on it gave us strength. When an almost complete stranger who was following my run came to join us in the wee hours of the night. All because I had shown him a random act of kindness seven months before. I was feeling the power of kindness.

Yet after the run and I returned to my everyday life it was harder to see that power of kindness. That is because the cable news channels, and social media trolls, seem to hog all the attention. Even so the power was still there but so was hatred. Something that thankfully, I did not have on my run.

Practicing kindness would seem to be an easy thing to do, but in our society putting down people and being snarky are cooler. That, however, does not make kindness any less powerful just rarer. I also found on this run that people do want to believe in positive news and kindness. They just do it quietly.

When I decided to try this challenge of running the length of New Jersey a second time, this time from south to north. A bit harder feat because you end up going uphill more than in the other direction. I knew that I had to do it with that kindness lesson in mind.

When most people do an endurance challenge like this their message is the traditional American principles that you can achieve most anything you want if you believe and work hard. Also, they usually have a charity they are raising money for. I am raising money for a charity called Dylan’s Wings of Change. Yet something was gnawing at me about the kindness lesson.  It needed to be explored and promoted as well.

As I was on a morning run it came to me. I knew that I needed to ask more from the people who might be following me on this trek. Yes, I wanted them to cheer me on and donate to Dylan’s Wings. (An organization by the way, that spreads kindness.) I need to not only talk and preach about kindness but spread it. I decided that I was going ask people to perform one small act of kindness as well. This is not a hard task, I thought it would be nice if they documented it as well. That way in my tiny part of the world and my small circle of friends and family we have made it a little better place. That is why I call this journey The New Jersey Kindness Run.

If you are reading this blog and thinking of donating to my cause I hope that you perform that small act of kindness and let me know. It does not have to be big. For example, after a recent snowstorm after I was done shoveling my driveway and walkway. I went over and shoveled around my neighbor’s car. That way he could get out easier. Not a big deal, but it did make me feel better. I know that this sounds strange but before I take the first step on this running journey these small acts will inspire me. Kindness always does.

I will admit I am a little nervous about this request. Not because it is difficult for someone to do it. In fact, in my circle of friends and family there are some wonderfully kind people who are already quietly performing acts of kindness on a regular basis. It is just that they do it quietly and probably will want to keep it that way.

Yet if we spread the word a bit more, we can influence those people who keep to themselves too much. We can also change our society’s narrative a bit, that the world is place filled with hatred and negativity.  Some of us must at least try and make people feel more positive about humanity. The way I look at it, one little extra act of kindness is something this world needs a lot more of. After all it is hard to have too much kindness.

Maybe I am crazy and naïve but the only way I will find out is to ask. Please think about it. What is the worse that can happen? Someone rejects your offer. Very unlikely. No, more likely it is that you will make someone feel better. I know that it will make me feel better when I run that you did this.

Produce Jeopardy: What is a Radish?

I had a major decision to make. Do I do self-checkout or go to the cashier with my groceries. I was calculating which would be faster since I had quite a few items including produce which I hate looking up on the screen. I opted for the cashier thinking it would be faster since there was no line. It may or may not have been faster, but it certainly was more entertaining. The cashier was a young college age man who I had not seen at this store before. He was able to deftly handle the fish, meat, butter, potato chips and all those items that have a UPC Barcode.

It is when we got to the produce that things got interesting. He slowed down studying every item. He got to the parsnip and had apparently never seen one of these before. I knew what was coming. He looked at me and asked “What is this?” I said “A parsnip.” I wasn’t surprised, many a cashier is stymied by the not so common vegetables. They want oranges, apples, green beans (Preferably in a microwave bag.) and broccoli. Yet the next one surprised me. He held up my bunch of radishes and asked again “What is this?” I tried to hide my shock and dismay but calmly said “radishes”. The last item was a cucumber. He looked at it. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his brain he had seen one of these before. He was straining to remember. He looks at me and tentatively says “This is a cucumber, right?”  I smile and say “yes”.

I think he burst a button on his shirt when he got that one right. I almost “high fived” him. Maybe I should have found the manager to tell them that they should be commended for hiring such a bright young man who knew what a cucumber was. However, I just left worried about the future of our country or at least our gastronomical future.

I mean I get this often. Many a young person has no idea what certain vegetables are. I wonder what they ate their whole life to never have come upon fresh produce. Do people not cook at home anymore?

I remember years ago I was working with a woman who hated to cook and would serve her son mashed potatoes that came from a box. Yet one day her son who was in first grade looked at her and asked “Mom can you make mashed potatoes from real potatoes?” She was ashamed and scared! She would have rather he asked “Where do babies come from?”  I always wondered what happened to that young man. I hope that he broke the noncooking cycle in his family or a generation of descendants will be raised on boxed mashed potatoes. A sad thought. Tears come to my eyes just thinking about it.

The next day I am in the produce section of a different grocery store. I really don’t like buying produce at this store because it is notoriously bad. Yet I only needed two things that are common one being a green pepper.  When an older gentleman (He looked old to me but the scary part is he was about my age.) asks me “Do you know what a turnip is?”

They are right in front of him but there is no sign. I point to them. He asks “Which is a good one? Which would you buy?” I look them over. The colors are fading and all of them are brown. I picked up a couple and they are squishy. To his dismay I say “None of them. This store is known for its bad produce.”

He goes “My wife sent me out to get a root vegetable for a stew.” He was shaken. I said “Tell her some guy told you not to buy them. Trust me.” Apparently, she suggested a few other items and I showed him the rutabagas and of course the parsnips. While neither looked great they were in better shape than those turnips. I mean someone should have lost their job for leaving those turnips out.

He brings over a yucca and asks me what it is but before I could answer he turns it around and there is a sticker that says “yucca”. “Oh. Will this work?” I said “I don’t know what she is making but it probably wouldn’t. I would stick with the parsnips or the rutabaga.”

I felt like saying “How did you make it this long in life? Being so helpless around food.” I thought about him and before I walked away I was going to make a career suggestion to him. I think he has the making of a good cashier. You will be happy to know that I kept all my wise guy thoughts to myself.

Now I no longer worry about the gastronomical future of our country. It is the present that is the problem.