The Journey from 0 to 50 after the Age 50

 

There I was, at 5:30 a.m. on an unusually cool and damp May morning at the starting gate waiting for my first ultra-marathon -- a 50 mile run called, Rock the Ridge 50 Mile Challenge.  My journey to this gate did not begin with this moment in mind.  It was not as if I had set as a goal to get in good enough shape to complete 50 miles.  Far from it.  I didn’t even know that this race existed or that there were such things called ultra-marathons.  I distinctly remember my journey starting seven years prior when I had turned 50.  I had no goal other than staying fit.  I could sense that my athletic ability (which was pretty good when I was younger) was diminishing.  I also admit that I didn’t like it when my kids called me “fat dad” because while I was not overweight I had put on few pounds.

While retirement was not near, it was something that could be contemplated.   I thought that when I retire, I still want to be very active, and be able to hike trails and climb mountains in our National Parks, not just look at them from a roadside.

I remember when I was 51, my two younger brothers had completed a Tough Mudder, and the way they talked about it made me want to complete it too.  I wanted the challenge, but realized that I first needed to get in shape.  With others in my family, I signed up for a Warrior Dash that was scheduled to take place in the summer.  To train, l began to trail run.  I was already an avid day hiker and really enjoyed my quiet time in the woods, so trail running was like hiking, only faster.

It's amazing how a couple of small decisions for a short-term goal would have such a long-term impact.  The decision to involve myself in an obstacle race and to use trail running as my primary training method would prove pivotal.  Little did I know that the day I made those decisions would take me down a new path, which leads to other paths that I never knew existed.  It would soon lead to a regular routine of trail runs, as well as obstacle and trail races. 

As I started my trail running, I realized I had a long way to go.  The hills on the trail run took a lot out of me and I even had to walk them in the beginning even though I was only going three miles or so.  Fairly quickly, however, I was able to complete four miles even with hills.  Two weeks before the Warrior Dash, I pulled a muscle playing volleyball.  I was devastated, but rested it thinking that I might be able to do the Dash at three-quarters speed. Just minutes before the race, I decided to give it a try.  While I could not run at full speed, I did finish the Dash. (Warrior Dash photo below)

A few months later was the Tough Mudder.  I kept up on my trail running and pretty soon I was easily completing five miles.  While these runs were becoming easier, the Tough Mudder was on another level.  The Mudder contained numerous obstacles that required upper body strength.   I was with my brother on a day that started at 37 degrees, reaching the high 40’s. I was not just running, but also swimming in icy cold water.  Again, I pulled a muscle (halfway through the race), but I was not going to quit.  I finished the race with my brother running slowly.  It took me 10 days to recover.

While I was basking in the glow of achievement, I also realized that now I had no goals to train.  Would I become a one and done or would I continue on?  I decided that I wanted to complete the Tough Mudder again, and this time in a better fashion since I had a year to prepare.  I found a variety of trail races that would take place in the winter and spring.  (put on by NJ Trail Series, which I highly recommend.  They are very unpretentious races and they put them on throughout the year and go from 5ks to 100 milers.) I was soon participating in a race almost every month in order to train,  First was a 10k, then a Spartan, then trail half marathons, more Tough Mudders, and then sprint triathlons.  

While some of the races took a lot out of me, I realized that despite the aging process, I was getting stronger, had more endurance and recovered quicker from the various races.  My confidence also grew as did my desire to exercise. Before the Tough Mudder started, I remember something that the motivational speaker said that resonated with me.  “When was the last time you did something for the first time?” That became my racing motto and I began pushing myself to more difficult races and challenges.

I couldn’t believe how these races have changed me.  My identity has changed.  People began to see me as an athlete even though I was in my fifties.  Even more profound -- I began to see myself as an athlete (an old athlete) but an athlete none-the-less.  My identity was always derived from my work and family, which still exists.  I am proud of this identity as a family man, and as a trainer and speaker at my place of employment, but it is nice to have a unique characteristic.

I remember talking to a friend who followed my exploits on Facebook and he asked me, “How long do you think you can keep doing this?” I did not have an answer and still don’t.  When I began these races, I said that I would continue until I turned 60.  But, now as I write this, I am sixty-one and I do not see an end in sight.

When most of us go on a journey it is with the destination in mind.  My journey began with no destination in mind, yet it continues with so many fun stops along the way, with new paths available that I take.  There are no destinations on this journey because destinations indicate and end -- it's more interesting getting on the new path.

Completing that 50 mile trek on that cold wet day in May was interesting, to say the least, and it was a separate, crazy story (which you will be able to read about as well) in itself, but it was the unplanned journey to get to the starting gate that continues.

A Real not a Virtual Journey with COVID-19

As I look at the graph on my computer, which charts the distance of my runs and walks, I realized that in a little over two months I have traveled over 500 miles since recovering from COVID-19.  Let me rephrase that. “Traveled” is the wrong word because I have not really gone anywhere.  All my runs and walks have occurred either directly from my house or at parks which are within a five-minute drive from my house. While I may not have really “traveled” anywhere, that does not mean that I have not been on a journey since this pandemic started.

I can look at the miles logged before I contracted COVID-19, when I thought I could easily brush aside COVID-19 because of my fitness.  Then the blank entries for a couple of weeks when I was captured under a dark cloud of COVID-19.  Then the short walks that signal the slow but steady climb to recovery.  Now the miles are coming at rate that I never attained before.  The numbers tell a story of the journey, but they definitely do not tell the whole story.  The numbers don’t express the fear, loneliness, and other emotions felt during and after my bout with COVID-19.  Experiencing COVID-19 and expressing the emotions helps me explain the journey and the numbers better.

I have noticed recently that since I am healthy and when I tell people I had COVID-19, they are all of a sudden very fascinated about my experience and what it is like to have it.  I then realize that the only information that they have received about the disease is through news reports. Moreover, let’s be frank, that is often focused on the numbers.  The number of positive tests. The number of hospitalizations. The number of deaths.  It is the nation’s or an individual state’s chart.  Like my chart, they do not tell the whole story.

The problems with the nation’s chart and the numbers on it, is that people see the numbers they want to see.  The numbers that back up the narrative they believe to be true. I have found in talking to people and from reading their posts, that there are two schools of thought of COVID-19.

One school thought is held by people who are terrified of COVID-19, or at least take it very seriously. They focus on the number of deaths and the rising number of people testing positive.  They see all the people who are not wearing masks and worry.  While they know most people survive COVID-19, they are still terrified.  I know when I talk with these people they seem to have worried the most during my bout and seemed surprise that I am back to normal.  In my conversations with them, I do say it is a tough and serious illness but it is not a death sentence. 

The other school of thought is that this is entirely overblown and we have to go back to our normal lifestyles.  They focus on the death rate and say only 1% of the people die and 80% have almost no symptoms.  First, of all, I cannot be that cavalier about death. Not when over 150,000 people have died.  Using their own numbers that means that 19% are seriously ill.  This is the major problem, in that it puts a burden on the healthcare system.  When an area becomes a hot spot, the hospitals become COVID-19 wards and other medical procedures and treatments get delayed. While we are getting better at providing treatment, it is not an illness that is quickly treated by taking a pill and you are better in a couple of days.  They take a long time to heal.

I have a theory about COVID-19 that since it attacks your immune system, it also finds your weakness in your health and attacks there.  Whether it is a heart issue, lungs, or in my case a cough. This is why people with pre-existing conditions are the most at risk.  I only bring this up because COVID-19 has done the same thing to our nation.  It has found a weakness in our system and made it worse and we can see that in how we all look at the numbers in the nation’s chart.

It has exposed that while our medical infrastructure has maybe the best doctors and equipment in the world, is not prepared for a pandemic.  It also exposed the digital divide in our schools.

The biggest weakness it exposed however is that we are very divided politically, and very divided over how to address the pandemic.  You cannot fight a war divided on the tactics and strategy.  Especially when we really have only one strategy to combat COVID-19, and that is social distancing, wearing a mask, and washing our hands. That’s it! Well we also do have hope. Hope that science will come up with a vaccine and a very effective treatment soon.   Most likely “hope” is not coming very quickly and that “hope” of a vaccine is probably the only thing that will bring us together.

As I look at this divide, I know that most people feel anger, especially towards the opposing viewpoints.  Not me.  I feel sadness.  A sadness that this divide will cause unnecessary deaths and lengthen the time it will take our economy to recover.  A sadness that at a moment when we should unite as a country we are divided.

I look at my chart again and look at my journey. I know most people will say your back to normal.  While my fitness is back to normal, what the chart does not tell you is that I am a changed man.  I realize how lucky I am that my bout was minor compared too many.  However, it was serious enough (which I chronicled in other posts) that I can understand the despair that those who died by themselves felt as well as the helplessness their loved ones felt.   Those deaths are more personal for me as I feel a sense of pain every time Governor Murphy speaks of one who passed.  Sadly, while I am always a positive person the way our country has handled this pandemic has dimmed some of my optimism.

As for our nation’s chart and our country’s journey?  It is still a work in progress and we will get through this, albeit not easily.  I am not even sure where we are in this journey, the middle? near the end? or maybe still in the beginning?  One day in the future, we will look at the chart and the numbers.  We will focus on our GNP, unemployment rate, and other economic measures and see that they seem to be back to normal.  The numbers may seem to be saying that we are back to normal, but like me, we will be a changed nation.

A Mindfulness West Coast Trail Run

I had been on this trail a couple of days before, walking the 2.3 mile Old Landing Cove Trail with my daughter, Lisa.  It was a gorgeous trail in Wilder Ranch State Park in Santa Cruz, California.  It was on top of the cliffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean.  We kept stopping to take in the views and take pictures.  Northern California’s terrain was so different then the forests, lakes and mountains of our native New Jersey. Which was obvious, but to actually walk the terrain and see it made it more real than reading about it or watching a video about it.

However two days later this same trail was both completely the same, but also completely different.  It was early Monday morning, not a Saturday, and I almost had the trail to myself with only two or three other cars in the parking lot.  The air was crisp and cool and those few people that were there were bundled up, while  I was in my running shorts and a t-shirt.  Running would warm me up. At least that is what I was hoping because it was a bit colder than I had anticipated. I was planning on doing a short 5 mile run.

It was not long as I started down the trail that I realized it was different then the first time.  With the absence of people, I realized that all my senses were more alert.  Yes, I could hear the steady clomping of my feet on the ground and my irregular breathing.  It usually takes me about a mile to get my breathing to be steady.   This time however, I noticed more wildlife.  I saw and heard rabbits and ground squirrels scurrying for cover as I approached.  The birds were chirping loudly and there were many more of them.  I heard a cow mooing across the valley, her voice carrying so strongly that I thought she was a short distance away.  I smelled the salt air and enjoyed the cool air on my face.  I even started to notice the different terrain under my feet: sometimes it was solid rock, other times it was gravel, and other times soft sand. 

I was thinking how different this run was then my normal trail run that I take most weekends in the mountains of New Jersey.  Then my mind drifted to the sounds, smells, and touches I had on those runs.  I thought of the smell of running by a swamp and of fallen leaves, the feel of running on muddy paths and rocky trails, and the sounds of the birds that were different from these birds.

It was then that I realized why I love trail running or even hiking solo.  All my senses are engaged in my environment with the absence of people.  While I enjoy having a conversation as much as the next person, (and many would say I enjoy it much more than the average person, and they would be right) conversations distract me from using my other senses, and I miss much of the world around me that mother nature displays.

The day before I had taken a seven mile trail run on an inland trail within Wilder Ranch State Park and had realized how different it felt. At times I would stop to just take in the sights, sounds, smells, and touch of these new surroundings.  I would on both runs, stop and touch strange plants and smell them to better understand them. 

Yes, I know that some feel it is dangerous to hike or run alone especially in unfamiliar territory, but for me I find it centering and relaxing (With the notable time I almost felt lost which is another post).  Some people use yoga or meditation to get to that point, I use runs and walks in nature to get to that point.  Some runners like to have ear buds and music playing in their ears to get into a rhythm. Which I admit I do when I am on a treadmill, but in nature I eschew them.  In fact, it is a pet peeve of mine when those hiking, running or walking in a park are wearing ear buds, they are not truly experiencing nature.

I never knew what “mindfulness” was until I met my friend Alisha, who help introduce it to our schools in New Jersey.  I then realized that “mindfulness” is not just meditation and yoga (though they certainly are popular methods to practice it).  I believe that we all naturally try to find ways for coping with stress and hectic lives through a mindful way.  I know people that live near the ocean and need to just sit and watch, listen, and smell the ocean.  It was then that I realized that my trail runs and hikes had become my mindfulness practice.  It didn’t start off this way, it was more about logging miles and keeping a good time, but quickly I began to not care about my time as much and just took in the beauty of the forest. 

When I travel whether for work or play, I always take time out to explore a park in the vicinity.  It is on these excursions away from the city and suburbs I feel that I understand a location better.    If I blindly dropped you off in a mall it would take you some time to figure out where you were. Let’s be realistic, most malls look and feel the same. Hint - the biggest give away would be the sports stores because you could see the local teams that they follow, but often times the stores are all the same.

Whether it is a stroll through a Mississippi swamp, Smokey Mountains, desert terrain of Arizona, or the Redwood forests of Northern California I don’t feel like I truly have visited another local until I get into their local parks. 

When I returned home, those runs and hikes stayed with me.  It is hard to forget experiencing your first traipse into a redwood forest.  However, I soon was on my normal trail run and the temperature was hovering in the 30’s, much colder than California.  It was the middle of November and the wildlife was not abundant the leaves were mostly gone. I could feel the moisture in the air and on the ground below my feet.  I was alive and all my senses were alert, not because it was a new surrounding, but because I was home.  Nature can be very centering and beautiful even when it is an everyday occurrence. You just have to use all your senses.

COVID Confuses What is Right and Wrong

I was being a great “social distancing” uncle with my nieces’ two kids, ages five and eight.  I guess technically I am a grand uncle but they call me “Uncle Ray”, which makes me feel younger.  I had set up the sprinkler and the backyard so they could run through it and I even joined them. I was acting just as silly as them, maybe even sillier since I am sixty years old.  Now that I think about it, one of my best skills is being silly with kids.  It is not a skill that earns you much, or any money for that matter, but it does earn you the friendship of a youngster. It also earns you the appreciation of their parents for giving them a brief respite from watching their children. 

Through all this, we maintained our social distance since they were visiting us for the first time since the quarantine restrictions were slowly being lifted.

They had come from Brooklyn so they were enjoying the freedom of a backyard.  As we sat around with my niece and her kids, I could sense that the kids were getting a little restless.  I suggested that we explore the forest at the end of our street.  It is about twelve acres of undeveloped land completely full of mature trees.  I figured that in a forest there is always something to see.  Besides, the walk may tire them out.

When I first moved into our home, I used to walk into this woods often, as did my kids. There was a path that you could follow almost the entire length of the lot.  It however has been years since we had trudged it, and apparently, no one else had, because it was not there.  “No matter” I thought, we can bush whack it.  Soon my nephew was finding that this wooded lot was really a playground.  He lead us up as we scaled a mountain, climbed on top of a rock, found a tree which was bent over and was obviously a monkey bar.  His imagination was in high gear when he decided we should build a fort.  So we found a spot that we could begin to lay branches across for our fort.

While my nephew was excited and comfortable in his new playground, my niece however was not as comfortable.  Her basic reaction was to follow her brother’s lead.  As we were building the fort, she all of a sudden said, “I’m scared, can we go back?” I did not want to make this a traumatic moment for her so I said (to her brother’s chagrin) “let’s go.”

As we started to head back, she reiterated that she was scared.  She scampered to get close to me, which made me nervous.  I had been very careful about maintaining our social distancing.  She reiterated it one more time, “I’m scared”.  I tried to reassure her by talking with her, but she would have none of it. She then lifted her small hand up for mine.  It was wrong to take her hand because of COVID-19, but I took it anyway. That simple act calmed her down. In fact, calmed her down in a way that the spoken word could not.  I however, had pangs of guilt of what I was doing was wrong.

I held her hand for a short time because she was still a bit nervous. Mainly because she could not always see her older brother as he raced ahead of us galloping through the forest.  Once we got within sight of the houses, I released her hand.  I felt I had risked too much.

This is one of the malicious aspects about COVID-19 and the social distancing that accompanies it.  It takes simple acts of kindness and love and makes them taboo.  There are times (such as I had with my niece) when words are not as effective as the gentle kind touch at the right time.  Like at a funeral when words are hard to come by, a caring hug from a friend sends the exact right message.  This has been true for eons – that is until now. 

I work in the field of education and I thought of all those teachers of students in kindergarten thru third grade.  Those teachers need to show kindness and compassion with a simple touch, but that can’t happen.  They are by nature affectionate people and we have taken a significant educational tool away from them.  

That night I thought about the conflict raging in my head about holding her hand.  I realized that was the first time I had touched another person, besides my wife and my son in over three months.  I have to say I have missed the touch of another human. I have seen my mother, sister, daughter, and brother, and all I wanted to do was give everyone a hug and a kiss.  Even when I saw someone at work I wanted to greet them with a hug because we had not seen each other in so long, and we had all been through so much.

Sometimes I think we don’t realize how much we are losing as a society with all of us social distancing.  We can connect with Zoom, but it can’t replace a hug.  Please don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating for violating social distancing policies because it is one of the only tools we have in battling COVID-19. It is just that effects of COVID-19 cannot just be measured by medical statistics.  The social emotional toll is maybe the one that will last the longest.

Many of us want to go back to a normal life or more likely even find a “new normal”.  How will we know we are there?  For me I know.  It is when a young child reaches out for your hand out of fear and you can take it and know that it is right.

Trail Runners Have the Best Gym

(Author’s Note: This blog was written before the pandemic and when fitness centers were open and before they closed and still are closed in my home state of New Jersey.)

It was an unusually warm February day in Northern New Jersey as I got out of my car to start my weekend trail run.  As I closed the car door and looked around, I saw a man getting a wagon ready to pull for his dog, who I am guessing was arthritic.  He looked at me in my running gear a bit perplexed and said, “What no bike or dog?” It then occurred to me that while I have used this parking area as my starting point for trail runs, most of the people who park there use it for the two other purposes.  They use it for walking their dogs down to the river on a flat trail or using it as a place to park for a nice road biking excursion.  I said, “No I am going on the trail for a run.” He looked perplexed and I pointed across the street to faintly marked trail and said, “there!”  He looked at the trail and the forest behind him and said wistfully, “One day I will do that,” as if he was planning a trip to Europe.  I was a bit shocked since 95% of the park was beyond that trail head, but I understood he was taking care of his dog.

I park at that spot because it is on the fringe of the park and so adds distance and elevation to my workout. After that brief conversation, I took off on my regular trail run.  I steadily climbed for about a mile on a single track then descended for a bit before it leveled off. I circled a lake and went back into the forest along a swamp, then began another climb up a wooded trail.  After the climb on a single track trail, I descended  down and came to a road in the park which is a short portion of my run, but as I ran I came to a beautiful stream which I pass every time. This time however, I stopped and took in its beauty.  It was then I realized that this park was my gym!

Fitness centers and gyms are a big business these days, with numerous workout regiments and plans to fit almost any budget and lifestyle – but NOT Mine!

I am a trail runner dammit!  Our conditioning and workouts cannot be found nor replicated in a climate-controlled gym.

Not only that, but our trail runner gyms have amenities those gyms can only simulate through computer graphics.  To prove my point, I continued on my trail to the highest peak in the park.  When I got to the top of the Tourne I looked out and saw the skyline of New York City some 35 miles or so away. On previous runs I have come across Red-Tailed Hawks, fox, bear, snakes, Great Blue Heron and numerous other wildlife.  This can’t be replicated on a computer screen or in a climate-controlled facility.

Speaking of climate-controlled facilities, my gym and all other parks that trail runners train in, are literally climate-controlled.  Whatever the climate is, they are.  Since I live in a four-season area, the temperature and the environment for the gym changes drastically, and it is up to the runner to adapt with their gear.  I have run at temperatures as low as zero and as high as 90.  The colors of my gym also change with the season. With light greens and colorful flowers in the spring, to deep richer greens in the summer, to the changing colors of the leaves of fall.  On this day in the late winter, it is not the most spectacular with different shades of gray and brown permeating the landscape. There was no white of snow to add a brightness to the forest.  Yet even at my gym’s less then spectacular day, it is much better than all fitness centers.

I know that a lot of people go to chain fitness centers because they cannot only get a very steady and precise workout, but they like the interaction with the regulars in the gym.  It is the social aspect of building relationships and meeting people.  Yet my gym also offers that.  Humans are creatures of habit and they love routines.  On my weekend trail runs I often see the same people either biking, running, or walking their dog (My gym is pet friendly.  A major bonus!).  We exchange greetings and smiles like old friends.  One time after I had injured myself and could not run for a month, I was back on the trail and saw an elderly couple, Carl and Val. They walk their dog regularly on the trails and they stopped me and asked me “Where have I been?” What struck me was their obvious concern in the question.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that we all need exercise equipment to stay in shape.  I myself use my treadmill often. Especially before work when I have limited time to work out before my long commute to work.  When pressed for time I skip the trail run and opt for a road run.  Even though I do this on country roads, I find the noise of the cars unsettling and the exhaust from the cars distasteful.  I think changing my running routines is important so I can accept these other workouts. 

I also accept them because they are time based.  I am pressed for time and need to work out but do not have time for a trail run.  Trail runs are best savored, not rushed.  I often think when I start that I will do a short run today, but after a mile or two I find myself adding loops and mileage to my runs.  When I get home my wife often says, “Boy you were out a long time.” I usually reply “I went a little longer than I planned” but in reality, time is not a concern of mine in the forest.

The best part about my gym is that it is part of a nationwide chain of gyms for trail runners.  All across this nation there are parks, whether they be federal, state, county or even a local park.  Trail runners have a unique talent in finding beautiful and secluded areas even in well populated areas.  My small gym with miles of trails can be found in the most densely populated state less than forty miles from New York City.  While this is my favorite, I know several others, but this one is the closest so it works best.  If you ever wonder where the best parks are ask a trail runner (if you unfortunately don’t know any trail runners than a day hiker is a good alternative.) They will point you in the right direction.  It is probably closer than you think.  Possibly just across the street.

What I Miss and Took for Granted

I am running down the trail and in the distance, I see an elderly couple, I know that it is Carl and Val.  (Pictured below pre-social distancing) Since I have been running the trails of the Tourne Park for ten years now I have seen them often.  Over time it went from saying hi, to stopping and chatting.  I had not seen them in about seven weeks and I was worried.  They are elderly, well into their seventies and with COVID-19 in the air, they were type of people you worried about.  I stopped to talk and when I did, I instinctively took a step back and to the side. I call it the “COVID Slide”.  Now when we meet people we do not step forward, we step back and to the side.  Very aware of keeping our distance.  It is as if every encounter with another person is the same as if we had found a rattlesnake in our path. We keep our distance.

What bothers me is that this is becoming normal.  You see it in the grocery store. We all try and keep our distance from each other, though at times it is impossible.  I even find myself getting annoyed at other shoppers for stopping in front of an item and looking at the labels, oblivious to the fact that they are backing up the aisle. “Just grab the jar and go!  This is no time to check ingredients or compare prices.  You are holding me up!” I think to myself, as I quietly wait with my cart.

I have what I think are two good anchors that should help me through this difficult time of a quarantined lifestyle.  One anchor is my fitness and running, and the other is I am with my family.  While they may be an anchor to keeping a sense of normalcy in my life, it is COVID-19 (and the social distancing it requires) that is the true anchor.  An anchor from letting us go free and live life with other people.

Maybe this because I am a very social person. My wife calls me the “Schmoozer” because I can work a crowd at a party with the best of them.  I don’t think that anyone who I work with, who has seen me at the various meetings, would disagree.  I believe that we are all social creatures and need, maybe even crave, human contact.

As I get pretty good at stepping back and around people, I want to go back to stepping towards another person and shaking hands.  The longer we go into this social distancing quarantine, the more I realize the things I miss the most that cost nothing and that I took for granted,.

Ø  A simple handshake.

Ø  Being able to hug and kiss my ninety-two year old mother.

Ø  Seeing my daughter.

Ø  Hugs and kisses when you meet a friend or family member.

Ø  A bro-hug.

Ø  Sitting at a table with a group of people sharing a meal, sharing stories, and sharing laughter.

Ø  Before and after a race hanging with the other runners and swapping stories and experiences.

Ø  Having lunch with a friend.

Ø  Chatting in the lunchroom with my work colleagues.

Ø  Seeing people’s faces completely uncovered.

This is just a few of the numerous little encounters we all have with each other that were everyday occurrences that we took for granted.  Now those little things seem so big.

I have two fears as this COVID-19 pandemic goes on, and the social distancing that comes with it.  Even though we are currently in the process of relaxing some of the restrictions, human contact is still a no-no.

My first fear is one that is very likely. It is that this will go on until we have a vaccine, or at least a treatment for the disease, which is readily available.  The way it is looking, a vaccine or treatment that is readily available probably will not be available for the rest of the year, so we will be in this social distancing lifestyle for some time.  We are all trying to maintain our current relationships with family and friends. The number of people we communicate with on a regular basis has most certainly diminished.  While we are doing a pretty good job at maintaining our current relationships, what we are not doing is building any new relationships.  This diminishing number of relationships with other people will have a long-term effect.

My second fear, is that the fear of getting close to others will take a while to go away.  The longer we practice social distancing, the more ingrained it becomes into our life. So even after we have a vaccine, some people will still be leery of other people and practice some form of social distancing. Others like me, will probably jump back into the old way of doing things.  Wait, I take that back!  Even I will have to read people’s body language more keenly to see if they are okay with being greeted with a hug.

Everyone even now, has a different view of the quarantine.  Some are screaming to open up everything now.  Others rarely venture out and almost have panic attacks shopping for food. COVID-19 will stay with us even after it is no longer a threat. It has changed us.

I finish up my conversation with Carl and Val because I see people coming and it will be hard to practice social distance with more people. Plus, I am running, and I need to move on.  Later on, I come to another person walking on the trail. We both start our move to the side, but he does one other thing that I have seen become more common now.  He not only moves to the side but he turns his head away from me so there is no eye contact.  I know why he does it but even so my heart sinks and I take it personally.

One more thing that I miss.  People looking you in the eye when they walk by you.

The Path Back to Normal and the Trails (Part 2)

It was a week later after the Trail Gods had given me the green light to run. I had chosen a municipal park that had a great walking and running path that circled around the soccer and lacrosse fields.  It was completely flat and about a mile and three quarters in distance.  It is not a favorite running route, but it is good for when you are coming back from an injury because it is easy on the legs and as I said, completely flat.  Even though it was early May, the weather was not ideal. It was very cold and there were some snowflakes drifting around.  When I got to the park, I had on my cold weather gear including a knit hat because it was not only cold, but very windy.

I got out of the car and waited for the GPS on my watch to start which sometimes takes a while.  I was very nervous though.  I was not sure I was ready yet, and the cold windy weather did not help my mood either. The watch dinged. It was ready and so I guess so was I.  I started at a slow steady pace, about 3/4 of my normal pace. I felt a little awkward as my breathing was a bit labored, and I felt a bit stiff.  That however, is how I always start for about a mile or so before I settle into a rhythm.  After a mile, I felt better but the wind was howling and if there is one weather thing that annoys me, it is strong winds.  On this route half the time, I would be running against the wind as well.  “Very apropos” I thought. “Running against the wind”, feels like I have been doing that for a month now.

I had signed up for a virtual 5K and actually completed a little over four miles when I called it a day.  I felt good but frankly I knew that I was not right.  That night I even felt a slight tightness in my chest, the same tightness I had felt when I had COVID-19.

The next morning was a totally different day in so many respects.  Firstly, the weather was dramatically warmer.  Even in the morning it was sunny and over fifty degrees.  I only had to run in shorts and a t-shirt, which having run bundled up the day before, felt so light and free.  I eschewed the municipal park and went to my usual county park in which I always ran.  Though this time I would traverse the flatter trails and avoid the steeper climbs.  Not sure if it was the warmer weather, the great feeling of having just a shorts and a t-shirt on, or being back on my old running route after one long month, but I felt much better than I did the day before. My stride felt good and my breathing was easy. As I circled a lake, I saw some women staring into the trees and saw what they saw, a Scarlett Tanager.  It was beautiful.  A message from the Trail Gods. 

I continued on, and on one small descent, my feet felt light and I was gracefully floating over the rocks in the path like I used too.  I came to a fork in the path at mile three. My original plan was to bear right to avoid the longer distance as well as the climb but I veered left for the climb and the distance.  I was feeling great.  I ended up doing 4.5 miles and I know I could have done more but I was still taking my return to fitness slow and steady.

The following Wednesday early in the morning, before 7AM, I decided to run that same trail again.  There were very few people in the park and I felt great. As I circled the lake again, I once again saw the Scarlett Tanager. Though this time it was on the opposite side of the lake.  I stopped to take him in. After all, gifts from the Trail Gods should not be ignored.  I was running easy and free, breathing was steady, and I did not want to stop but I had to work that day.  When I returned to my car in the parking lot and stopped, I felt it!  That high you get after a good workout or run.  It is the feeling that makes you get up and run even on bad weather days.  It is also a sign of fitness. That weekend I extended my runs to seven miles on both days.

Early on the next Friday morning I decided to take another trail run, but this time to Pyramid Mountain County Park, the same place the Trail Gods had spoken to me and I had seen the trail runner.  It was a warm day and once again the park was nearly empty this early.  It was an enjoyable run. So enjoyable, that I decided to add a short loop to my run to see one of the parks most visited landmarks, Tripod Rock.  It is a large multi-ton boulder perched on three smaller rocks. I always like to take it in because it is fascinating to look at, and might be the single reason this park was originally preserved.  I  used to hike this park before it was officially a park and the only trails pretty much lead to it.  After the core of the park was preserved, then additional adjoining lands, such as Turkey Mountain and Kincaid Woods, were added, to make one fabulous park.

I was running free and was surprised that I was almost back to the parking lot.  I was thinking about Tripod Rock and the mystery of it.  There are two schools of thought on it.  One that it was the work of Native American and the other that it is a remnant glacial motion.  I however know the real story.  It is the work of the Trail Gods. They are always communicating with us, we just have to listen more.  Take it from me.