What I Miss and Took for Granted

I am running down the trail and in the distance, I see an elderly couple, I know that it is Carl and Val.  (Pictured below pre-social distancing) Since I have been running the trails of the Tourne Park for ten years now I have seen them often.  Over time it went from saying hi, to stopping and chatting.  I had not seen them in about seven weeks and I was worried.  They are elderly, well into their seventies and with COVID-19 in the air, they were type of people you worried about.  I stopped to talk and when I did, I instinctively took a step back and to the side. I call it the “COVID Slide”.  Now when we meet people we do not step forward, we step back and to the side.  Very aware of keeping our distance.  It is as if every encounter with another person is the same as if we had found a rattlesnake in our path. We keep our distance.

What bothers me is that this is becoming normal.  You see it in the grocery store. We all try and keep our distance from each other, though at times it is impossible.  I even find myself getting annoyed at other shoppers for stopping in front of an item and looking at the labels, oblivious to the fact that they are backing up the aisle. “Just grab the jar and go!  This is no time to check ingredients or compare prices.  You are holding me up!” I think to myself, as I quietly wait with my cart.

I have what I think are two good anchors that should help me through this difficult time of a quarantined lifestyle.  One anchor is my fitness and running, and the other is I am with my family.  While they may be an anchor to keeping a sense of normalcy in my life, it is COVID-19 (and the social distancing it requires) that is the true anchor.  An anchor from letting us go free and live life with other people.

Maybe this because I am a very social person. My wife calls me the “Schmoozer” because I can work a crowd at a party with the best of them.  I don’t think that anyone who I work with, who has seen me at the various meetings, would disagree.  I believe that we are all social creatures and need, maybe even crave, human contact.

As I get pretty good at stepping back and around people, I want to go back to stepping towards another person and shaking hands.  The longer we go into this social distancing quarantine, the more I realize the things I miss the most that cost nothing and that I took for granted,.

Ø  A simple handshake.

Ø  Being able to hug and kiss my ninety-two year old mother.

Ø  Seeing my daughter.

Ø  Hugs and kisses when you meet a friend or family member.

Ø  A bro-hug.

Ø  Sitting at a table with a group of people sharing a meal, sharing stories, and sharing laughter.

Ø  Before and after a race hanging with the other runners and swapping stories and experiences.

Ø  Having lunch with a friend.

Ø  Chatting in the lunchroom with my work colleagues.

Ø  Seeing people’s faces completely uncovered.

This is just a few of the numerous little encounters we all have with each other that were everyday occurrences that we took for granted.  Now those little things seem so big.

I have two fears as this COVID-19 pandemic goes on, and the social distancing that comes with it.  Even though we are currently in the process of relaxing some of the restrictions, human contact is still a no-no.

My first fear is one that is very likely. It is that this will go on until we have a vaccine, or at least a treatment for the disease, which is readily available.  The way it is looking, a vaccine or treatment that is readily available probably will not be available for the rest of the year, so we will be in this social distancing lifestyle for some time.  We are all trying to maintain our current relationships with family and friends. The number of people we communicate with on a regular basis has most certainly diminished.  While we are doing a pretty good job at maintaining our current relationships, what we are not doing is building any new relationships.  This diminishing number of relationships with other people will have a long-term effect.

My second fear, is that the fear of getting close to others will take a while to go away.  The longer we practice social distancing, the more ingrained it becomes into our life. So even after we have a vaccine, some people will still be leery of other people and practice some form of social distancing. Others like me, will probably jump back into the old way of doing things.  Wait, I take that back!  Even I will have to read people’s body language more keenly to see if they are okay with being greeted with a hug.

Everyone even now, has a different view of the quarantine.  Some are screaming to open up everything now.  Others rarely venture out and almost have panic attacks shopping for food. COVID-19 will stay with us even after it is no longer a threat. It has changed us.

I finish up my conversation with Carl and Val because I see people coming and it will be hard to practice social distance with more people. Plus, I am running, and I need to move on.  Later on, I come to another person walking on the trail. We both start our move to the side, but he does one other thing that I have seen become more common now.  He not only moves to the side but he turns his head away from me so there is no eye contact.  I know why he does it but even so my heart sinks and I take it personally.

One more thing that I miss.  People looking you in the eye when they walk by you.