Resfeber Definition:
The restless race of the traveler’s heart before the journey begins, when
anxiety and anticipation are tangled together. (Swedish term)
I came across the word resfeber at a 24 hour race I was
entered in. It was on the back of the race shirt we got at the race. I loved
the term. There is no word in the English language that quite captures one’s
mood just before a journey as this one does. While the word is focused on
traveling and literally translates to “travel fever” I think it also applies to
difficult ultra marathons. They may not involve traveling like when one is on a
vacation, but they definitely constitute a journey.
I had set my sights on running the Grand Canyon from the south
rim to the north rim and back to the south rim. It would not be the longest run
I had ever attempted but it would be a very difficult challenge because of the
steepness of the climbs and descents. In addition, the weather could change
dramatically from the top of the canyon to the bottom. There would be swings of
temperature of more than thirty degrees. In addition, I would need to be self-sufficient,
carrying my own food and gear. It would also be a solo journey.
I was at a family Easter party and every so often someone
would ask me about the run. People are naturally intrigued by the distance, terrain
and the location. While I usually like to regale others with running stories, I
was done discussing this story. I had done my research and training and just
wanted to do it. I was also a bit nervous as I usually am in anticipation of any
difficult run. I feel very ready but
still have to wait.
As I write this paragraph, I am on a jet heading to Phoenix. I will land and spend a night with friends in Scottsdale, then a day later head to the Grand Canyon. The resfeber is building. I feel that mix of anticipation and excitement, but it is mixed with anxiety because I know of the difficulties that lie ahead.
I am wondering what it will feel like to peer out over the
Grand Canyon the day before my run knowing that I will be heading down in the
dark the next morning. I will have a mini entourage to the Grand Canyon. My
wife and our friends Ed and Sue will also go. It will be a long drive to the
Grand Canyon. I feel a bit guilty because they are all traveling to the canyon to
help me fulfill my adventurous journey.
I know that what I am doing is a bit unique and sometimes it is hard to
explain to others, especially people in my age group. Most are thinking of
slowing down and I am feeling like speeding up.
I did a short six mile run in the desert setting outside of
Sue and Ed’s home in Scottsdale. It felt good after spending all day on a plane
and sitting around. It was cool, probably the low fifties or high forties. My
running felt a little off. I was not running smoothly. I had been sick the week
before but felt I had recovered. However, my routine had been affected. I was
not in the moment. My anxiety and anticipation was distracting me.
As we got off the shuttle bus and headed to the ranger
station at the top of the south rim, we realized that they were closing. My
friends thought it was important to get as much information as I could about
the weather. I knew that park rangers were not very enamored with rim2rim2rim
runners so I was hesitant to really discuss anything with them that might give
me away. So, I saw a friendly ranger and asked her where was the best place to
park for the South Kaibab trailhead? I don’t remember who asked but they asked about
the weather at the bottom because I was running the rim to rim to rim. Her
demeanor immediately changed. “We don’t recommend that anyone do that. It is
extremely hot at the bottom. We expect it to be 95 degrees tomorrow.” Now
that did not jive with all the reports, I had read but we just walked away.
If her idea was to plant a seed of doubt and maybe change my
mind she failed. Though my wife was now hesitant. She said to me “Now Ray
don’t do overdo it. Please if it gets to be beyond your ability, it is okay to
cut it short.” She knew better than I, that I would push myself as hard as
I could. Though as she said loud enough for Ed and Sue to hear “I just wanted
to have witnesses that if you don’t make it, I had warned you!” Ed and Sue
astutely mentioned that they thought the ranger was trying to scare me by
exaggerating the temperature.
As I peered out over the canyon at Mather Point. I have to
admit I was in awe because from that vantage point it looked impossible to get
down the canyon let alone traverse it. Yet there was only one way that I could
eliminate the resfeber. That was to start down the trail. After that it would
be like many other difficult runs managing the issues that arise and pushing and
motivating myself to keep going.
Yet I hadn’t started the run, and my heart was racing with nervousness.
The side effect of this is that sleeping the night before a major run is always
difficult. I closed my eyes and dreamt about my upcoming journey.
The next morning, I had no resfeber. It was go time.
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