Setbacks are Part of Comebacks and Life

I was making good time as I ran this rugged trail and was feeling good about my first trail race in six months. I had suffered a stress fracture on my knee and had methodically been rehabbing my training and I was confident that my knee would be able to stand up to the rigors of a rocky and rugged trail race of seventeen miles in the beautiful Stokes State Forest Park. It had been almost six months since I had run a trail race because of the stress fracture in my knee. I had done a 5k road race as a trial and all that did was show me how far that I had to go, to get back in shape. Yet I felt that a couple of months later I was in good enough shape to do this race.

This was my comeback run. My return to running races on a regular basis. It was great to be in the running scene again. Especially trail running. You cannot meet a greater group of people.

It was a perfect day for trail running. In the morning in the high 60’s and while it was August the temperature would stay in the 70’s. I was a few miles in and had just settled into a good pace. I was feeling good when I felt a sharp pain in my right leg and I knew exactly what it was. The good news was that it was not my knee. The bad news was that I was just stung by a hornet and it hurt. This was immediately followed by another bite. I spent the next quarter mile swatting my legs at imaginary hornets without losing my stride. A couple of miles later I was running just behind another runner when she stopped and yelled in pain “What was that?” I could see the hornets buzzing around her and I yelled “Keep going bees. We can’t stay here!” we moved quickly slapping ourselves to no avail. I was stung a couple of more times this time on my left leg.

I continued on to the first aid station at mile 7.5 and was feeling pretty good. I was in a group of four runners who were at the same pace. This was a trail race and it was a rocky course and as I was running I slightly twisted my left ankle a few times. Yet I was feeling good but at mile nine I started to notice a slight pain in my left ankle and foot. I slowed down hoping that would give my body time to recover. Yet every time I stepped on a rock or uneven part of the trail (Which was basically every other step.) the pain would shoot up.

I had been worried about my right knee so much that it never even occurred to me that I could injure anything else. By mile ten I was walking and running and the running was very slow. I kept pushing on because basically I had no choice. I knew that the next aid station was at mile 13.5 but that was just water and that there would likely be no one there to help me.  So I kept telling myself I just need to move one mile at a time, first eleven than twelve miles. It was slow and painful. At one point I saw a large rock that I could sit on and plopped down. I tried to straighten out and take the weight off of my left ankle when all of a sudden my whole left leg from ankle to my hip went into a spasm and I loudly winced in pain as well as shock. I have never felt anything like this before. I have cramped up but that was usually in an isolated spot like my calf or quad. This was my entire leg. I stopped resting.

I continued on but was pretty much just walking now. I came upon a downed tree on the trail and was forced to go almost on all fours to get under it. When I was almost clear of the tree the pain reappeared and I yelled with the pain. It just so happens that another runner was coming upon me and asked worriedly “Are you alright?”  I replied “I will just have to keep moving.”  That shooting pain that froze me in my tracks occurred one more time, I was thinking that at the aid station maybe I could lie down and wait for a volunteer who was refilling the water to come and hitch a ride back. I hated quitting but I was in pain and did not want to make my injury worse.

When I came upon the aid station I contemplated my options. Maybe lay down and wait or limp for 3.5 miles.  I decided to limp the rest of the way. Mainly because I was afraid if I laid down that pain would come back. I was wondering if the bee stings were somehow connected to this pain.

I trudged on slowly being passed by so many runners that it was deflating. I also noticed that my right knee was starting to ache. This concerned me since if this injury came back, I would be sidelined for months. This was my comeback run and it was going horribly bad. This limping and favoring my right leg may have been causing the pain.

The last two miles a couple of runners stopped to see how I was doing. First was Maria a woman that I had seen at numerous races over the years. She said “What are you doing back here? You are normally closer to the front.” It was nice to hear that but I explained my injury. She had one Ibuprofen which I gladly accepted though I knew one was not enough.

A short time later another woman stopped. She had parked next to me at the parking lot and we had chatted. She too offered to help but I told her to go on.

Finally in the last mile my friend Dave came up and said he would stay with me but I told him to go on.

As I came to the last third of a mile I was really not looking forward to it. It was a slightly technical descent and I knew that it would be painful. As I started down the trail there was my friend Dave with his trekking poles. Which were a lifesaver. Even with them it hurt with every step going down. He said that there was a woman who was also going to come with poles until she realized that they were both helping the same person. That is what I love about trail runners, they are so supportive.

I finished the race but I was in pain. I took some ibuprofen and drove home. My ankle throbbing the entire forty-minute ride home.

My comeback was a setback. One of my worst outings as a runner. While the physical pain bothered me it was the mental aspect of falling short which really bothered me. I was thinking that maybe I was getting too old. While walking I noticed some beautiful landscapes along the trail but my sour mood prevented me from going to my cellphone to take pictures.

Yet setbacks are just that setbacks, they are not endings. (Unless you decide it is an ending.) I have suffered many setbacks in my life not just in my running challenges but in my professional life as well. In all cases setbacks are a time to pause and reflect as to what went wrong and how you can do things better. I find setbacks are great motivators. When I pulled a hamstring on my first Tough Mudder or when I got lost on my first ultra marathon. I was down but looked at my effort and returned the following year and did much better. At work I was not promoted when I thought I should have been, but I reflected on my skills and stayed with it and eventually got promoted.

Too often when things go wrong, we say never again. We don’t reflect on it and look at what we can do differently to achieve our goal.  In this case even before my ankle had healed I had figured out my mistake.

When I posted about my tough race on Facebook. Someone posted “That I should listen to my body.” Actually I was thinking I should have listened to my wife. She had said that I should have done more trail runs before this race and she was right. I had not trained right. So, after my ankle healed. I have adjusted my training program. I also carry bug repellant.