As I came into my aid station, darkness had completely settled in on the last loop and I had to use my headlamp to finish the loop. I was over 50 miles in but in order to get to 100 miles, I wanted to have about 80 miles in by around 8am. That meant covering thirty miles in the dark. It also meant doing it completely on my own. My daughter had left and my wife would go back to the hotel for a well-deserved rest after this pit stop. I hugged my wife and headed into the dark forest knowing what I had to do.
What did I have to do? I had to as they say “Embrace the
Suck”!
Embrace it I did. For this race, most people spend a great
deal of time on their conditioning, their gear, and their nutrition, but there
is a fourth part of pushing yourself to your limits and that is the mental
game. I spent months visualizing the
obstacles and difficult moments that I would face. More importantly, I spent
months visualizing how I would overcome them. I also always run even in bad conditions such
as temperatures as low as 1 degree and as hot as 90 degrees. I also run in rain
and snow. This running in bad conditions
had trained me to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
That being said I had never run on a trail before in
complete darkness and I would be doing it for about eight hours. All of a
sudden, my world became very small. Basically, it was just what I could see
with my headlamp. Which was bugs flying at me as well as other bugs scurrying
on the trail at my feet. The bushes, stumps and rocks took on eerie formations.
It was not the same trail as in the daylight.
My world also became quiet and solitary. There was no longer the banter among the
runners like there was during the daylight. In fact, there were fewer runners
some had dropped out, others were sleeping and as the night wore on there were
even fewer runners. There was no crew at this point so I would pop in to my
camp get some nutrition and pop out.
I was alone with my thoughts, which is always a dangerous
thing. While my mind did wander about bad things such as being attacked by a
bear or a coyote or harkening back to the movie the Blair Witch Project, for
the most part I was focused. Correction
I was laser focused on miles, getting to 70 miles before I would even consider
resting or napping.
The miles started to pile up and I was amazed at how good my
body felt even after over sixty miles in.
One problem I had was that my watch did not sync up with the course so I
was off by almost .2 miles every loop which does not sound like a lot but after
30 loops or so it adds up to miles. They
had a laptop at the starting/finish line which recorded your loops and miles. Every few loops I would check in to see my
miles.
I finally got to a little over 70 miles at about 3:30AM. I
felt a little tired so I decided to see if I could take an hour nap. I took off
my shoes and socks and put my feet up in a camp chair while my butt plopped in
another chair as I tried to nap. While I did not fall asleep the rest plus some
food, a Coke, and a change of socks and shoes, did me good and I was out and on
the trail a little after 4:30AM.
I was feeling strong again and was going at a steady pace in
fact I was passing other runners who were mostly walking. I also noticed that
very few people were running. Soon the sun was trying to break through and I
notice that some birds were chirping to greet the sun, much like some birds had
done at dusk the night before to say goodbye to the sun. Besides the singing
birds the other thing that greeted us in the morning were the bugs, they were
nasty flies that flew into my sweaty hair. They would also bite me through my
shirt. Yet I was glad to shed my headlamp and to be able to see the trail in
daylight. I also noticed almost everyone I saw was walking. There were a couple of runners that passed me
and one was Daniel who would go on to set the course record with 127 miles but
there were very few and I surmised that once they hit a 100 miles they may have
stopped. Most of the other participants
that were left, had come to the realization that 100 miles was not to be, but
they trudged on trying to accumulate as many miles as possible.
Not only did the birds and the sun return but so did Ilene.
I met her fiancée who was also in the race, and we cheered each other on. It
made me feel great when the two of them cheered me on as I passed the pavilion
one time. Sometimes those little things are so big.
My wife showed up a little after 6AM and I told her I was at
about 80 miles and she was bewildered. I
replenished my water and headed out checking my miles as I passed the gate and
now it was my turn to be bewildered it said 75 miles. Now five miles may not sound like a lot but
it also meant time. It was also a psychological hit. That deflated my optimism
a bit. This is when the mental game kicks in.
While I did not panic. Okay maybe I did a little. I
recalculated my pace and time and realized I was now cutting it close. I will admit it is hard to do math after
running almost 80 miles. Maybe I had just lost count I thought to myself. I told my wife I would be pushing it a bit
because I was cutting it close and I did not want to fall a couple of miles
short because I calculated wrong. I had ate a lot before my wife got there so I
would not need a tremendous amount of fuel but I did need water. I would bring a small water bottle with me
and just get an exchange from my wife every time I went by. I figured that I would pick up a few minutes
each loop by shortening my pit stops. After I had done four loops and was
feeling better about my time.
In the middle of all this Lou the race director yelled to me
as I was starting another loop and said “We have breakfast sandwiches, please
eat”. I said “I am pushing for that 100
mile buckle and it is close.” He gave me an ice pop and said “after this loop, eat.” Frankly, that ice pop really hit the spot and
tasted better than any sandwich.
I had picked up some time with that morning push and was
feeling pretty good that I should be at loop 41 with only four left. I checked
the laptop and I was at loop 40. I was
perplexed and I finally said something to the man operating the laptop “I think I am short a loop?” He said he
would audit my loops. I headed out without much enthusiasm because I had little
hope that they would find anything. While my enthusiasm was low, my
determination was high and I really pushed myself. As I came around again and
crossed the line again my wife was there and he said “You were right it missed recording a loop. You only have three loops
left”. I was ecstatic. This meant that
even if I walked the last three I would make it. I ran them however, albeit
very slowly. Whether it was
psychological that I knew I had my goal in hand or if all of a sudden fatigue
set in I found my strength had diminished.
As I was taking my last three relaxing loops I noticed no
runners were left until I had come upon Fernando who was easy to remember
because for most of the run he had 80’s rock playing as he ran. This time however he was joyously walking and
singing as he strolled through the forest. While he did not look, or sound,
anything like Julie Andrews singing “The
Hills are Alive, with the Sound of Music” he had that same joy. He asked me
“How many miles have you done?” It was a question I had been getting often. Because with a loop, people know who are
accumulating miles. I told him I had a loop and a half left. He smiled broadly “This is my last mile!” I congratulated him and kept trucking.
As I came around my last loop I looked at my aid station to
see my wife, daughter, and PJ hanging out and they were a little surprised that
I was finishing the loop so soon. They scurried to the finish line so they
could videotape me crossing the finish line. Unlike other races when there is
someone to greet you at the finish line this loop race only you and your crew
know. I did however go directly to Lou
for my 100 mile buckle. He hesitated and I could tell he was going to say that
he was out, but even the evil race director part of him, could not be that
cruel.
I looked at my finisher’s medal and my buckle so happy and
filled with pride. I thought to myself not many people can say that their
greatest athletic achievement occurred at the age of sixty-one.
I was the oldest and the last runner to reach 100 miles, but
it was a race with no losers. Even the people who did not reach 100 miles won.
Celeste never intended to do 100 miles was trying to do 62 miles ended up doing
80 miles a personal best. Ilene just pushed herself, and while she did not even
make 20 miles, her effort to me was the most inspiring of anyone’s.
I plopped down in my chair and relaxed at my camp, which was
one of the few camps still up. Most
people had broken theirs down. I had not just relaxed in over thirty hours. I
had learned a lot about myself, and actually life itself, on this journey.
Which I will have to discuss in my next blog. That will have to wait but at
that moment I had my finisher medal and my buckle, and an experience that will
last a lifetime.
Getting my finisher medal and buckle from the Race Director Lou
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