Moving Forward in a Race and in Life When the Wheels Fall Off

We all have times in our lives when, despite all our preparations and effort, things fall apart. You come face-to-face with your own limitations. We confront the fact that the goal we set for ourselves may not be met.

This recently happened to me at a 12-hour race. It is almost always inevitable that in an ultra-marathon, something will go wrong. It is guaranteed that it will happen in your life. It is how we move on from those moments that define us. Here is a look at what happened.

It was an extremely hot and humid day at the SquatchySurprise 12-Hour Trail Race. I am not great running in heat. This was a hot humid day in the mid to upper eighties.  The sweat had soaked my shorts and t-shirt. I was dripping sweat, but I was not the only one. As other runners passed me, they glistened. They too had sweat-soaked shorts and tops. I thought I was doing okay.  I ran at a slightly slower pace to conserve my energy in the heat and I was careful to consume water and electrolytes. Yet as I came back from my loop after completing 30 miles, I was feeling a bit hungry but also queasy at the same time.

I plopped down in the chair that I had set up at my own personal aid station. I had a cooler full of various drinks, and a bin for additional gear to help me through the race.  On the lawn there were canopies and many other chairs and coolers, plus friends and family members of runners who would greet the runners and be their crew. Young kids were also running around playing games. It was basically a picnic with sweaty and dirty runners popping in and out.

I quickly went for a protein drink and some electrolytes. I then had some fresh fruit and some soda. I didn’t take too much of anything but I knew that I needed to stay hydrated and get some calories. I still had almost six hours left. Plenty of time to reach my goal of more than 40 miles. Then all of a suddenly my stomach revolted. I shot out of my chair and threw up a couple of times.  It shook me to my core. I berated myself for immediately drinking and eating when I felt a bit queasy coming in. I just sat there in my chair trying to regain my composure.  I looked around to see if anyone among the crowd had witnessed my low point. I didn’t see anyone staring. Then just a couple of minutes later my stomach revolted again, and I threw up a couple of times. I felt awful.

I sat in my chair contemplating my future in this run, Should I just stop now? No, I thought to myself. I haven’t even done a 50K. I glanced up across the clearing and saw a woman with a distraught look on her face. It gave me some validation that this was a rough day. I took solace that I was not the only one suffering. It wasn’t my proudest moment to be happy someone else was suffering.

I wanted to quit the race, but I would have felt like a failure. I was about ten or eleven miles from my goal of at least 40 miles. I still had plenty of time, but I was also suffering from the heat. As I sat there suffering, I knew that I had to change my approach. I took off my shirt and only wore my hydration vest. I also took my bandana and filled it with ice and wrapped it around my neck. I would take this next loop slowly and then reexamine my condition at that time. Hey, I thought to myself I have been miserable before and overcome it. Heck, I climbed out of the Grand Canyon just a few months prior and I was in bad shape then.

The first ¾ of a mile was a steep climb so I walked that part but once over that climb I began to run slowly. With no shirt and the ice around my neck I felt much better. The ice had completely melted by the time I finished my loop. I now had only six miles left to get to forty miles so I decided to go for it. I really ate very little but figured once again that I had climbed out of the Grand Canyon on an empty stomach. That was a more difficult climb. I could do it again.

On my last loop I knew that I had plenty of time to get over 40 miles. I was really beat and  somewhat surprised that I would finish 41 miles. I was so close to quitting and doubting my ability. Yet the decision to change my strategy really paid off.  Yet while I was happy with the results my body still was not happy at all.

When I got home, I was planning on eating some food and drinking a celebratory beer. However, I had no desire for food or beer. I kept drinking ginger ale with plenty of ice. My body needed to recover from the heat and my exertion. It needed rest.

It is funny. I always think that ultra races have so many life lessons about overcoming obstacles, planning, and determination. And they do. Yet in my recent race experience I hit a major obstacle, had self-doubt, and needed to figure a way to move ahead.

Well before I was an ultra-runner, I was a young man with a young family.  The position I had at work was eliminated. My reaction was pretty much the same as on the run. I sat down and felt sorry for myself for a short time then worked on a plan to move ahead professionally. Maybe all those down moments in life made me a natural born ultra-runner.

There are striking parallels between life and ultrarunning, yet there is a difference. At least for me. In life I always seemed a bit surprised and shaken when things go wrong, whether it is at work or my personal life. I am not prepared. In ultra-running I am usually not surprised when things go wrong. In fact, I try to anticipate what can go wrong and even prepare for it.

While expecting things to go wrong does not always make it easier to finish a run to its completion it does make it possible. There is one trick I have honed to get me through tough ultra marathons. I used it in this past race when I remembered my toughness in the Grand Canyon run. That is drawing strength from past successes and believing in yourself. Knowing that you had overcome a major obstacle before gives you confidence that you can do it again. That is why I like difficult challenges even at work. Once you have even a little success at a difficult chore it builds your confidence. The key word here is that the challenge needs to be difficult. You do not build confidence by doing easy things.

Not everyone is an ultra-runner. Yet when things go wrong in life, it helps to have the mindset of an ultra-runner. It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself and even berate yourself. But only for a short time. The next step is to figure out how to move forward. Think of past achievements and have confidence in yourself. We are all capable of more than we think.