Reversing Routines and Seeing New Perspectives on Race

I am always amazed at how two people can have completely different perspectives and experiences with the same incident.  There are times when you hear two people describe the same occasion and if you didn’t know that it was the same occasion you would have thought it was two different ones. I was shocked recently when I changed up a regular running routine and began to see things from a new and somewhat uncomfortable perspective.    It also made me better understand, the perspective of others on the issue of race.

It was a perfectly innocent change in my routine not one that I thought would not make much of a difference but it did teach me a lesson.

On most weekends, I do the same long trail run in a nearby park.  The run is 8-10 miles so I zigzag almost every mile of the park.  I have been doing it for years and feel I know every tree, rock, and curve on the path. Like most people, I am a creature of habit and always go in the same direction.  One day I decided to reverse my course and go in the opposite direction.  Almost immediately, the run felt strange.  While there were some spots that felt the same because they were wide and flat, much of the trail felt completely new.  I could not recognize much of it.  The park that I thought I knew like the back of my hand was a strange land.  My Garmin at the end of my run had the same distance and elevation change but it was not the same trail. All because I came at it from a different perspective.

This got me to thinking that we all look at something from the same perspective, our own perspective.  We can live in the same community, shop in the same stores, and eat in the same restaurants, but our perspectives may be vastly different about our communities.  Different perspectives can be illuminating yet they can also be very divisive. Maybe there is no better example of that, then the perspective of the police and law enforcement in that of the black and white community.

I always looked at the police as my protectors and in my small hometown, I grew up knowing many of them by first name.  That view was held not just in my hometown but for all police officers.  Once in the early 1980’s I was lost in the City of Newark trying to visit a friend in the hospital and seemed to be heading into a tough neighborhood.  I was a bit worried until I came upon a police car and asked for help.  The officer was courteous and helped me get on my way.  He was as I always thought, my protector.

Not too long after that I was fresh out of college and our manager at our store was holding a work party for his staff up in Sussex County, New Jersey.  A county which was very rural and one which was not very diverse in it demographics back then and even today.  Our assistant manager, Charles, who was African American would be the lead car for all of us (This was in the days long before GPS and directions were hand-written) and it was about ten cars.  Once we crossed into Sussex County and the roads narrowed Charles slowed down greatly driving ten to fifteen miles below the speed limit.  It took us forever to get to the managers home.  We all laughed because we thought that he was afraid to lose us.  I was kidding him about how slow he was driving and he confessed to me that as a black man he could not take a chance with the police, particularly in this area. I was a bit taken back, because that is something I could not fathom, and I had to respect Charles because he was a hard working family man who was very straight-laced.

This was the first time I came across anyone who thought differently about police officers, but it would not be the last.  There were several times over the years in which an African American in just a casual conversation brought these incidents up not because we were talking about race or anything, but that it was a way of life. 

I remember one time vividly, because we were discussing where to hold a meeting and the one African-American gentleman Art, suggested a location in an urban area.  I mentioned that the attendees from the suburbs may be reluctant to go to that area and we were trying to get as many people to attend as possible.  He shot back at me “Ray, I am tired of that excuse. Do you know that I get pulled over almost every time I enter ______ town!”  Now Art was a very religious, respected community man, and I did not know anyone who thought otherwise.  Lesson learned on my part.

As our country once again has a heated national conversation on race, often centered on police encounters, I think back to all these conversations.  While the Black Lives Matter movement seems new to many in the white community, It has been fermenting for some time.  I think that with advent of social media and video clips of incidents, gas was added to the fire and a match was lit.

All these moments came flooding back to me on my “reverse run” about the different perspectives on race.  Interestingly enough, I have tried to make it a habit that I reverse my route to see if I can change my perspective and feel comfortable on the route.  However, while some parts do feel comfortable, there are still parts I feel like it is a strange new park.  This is another lesson.  No matter how much I think I can understand the perspective of someone black, I have to understand I am white so my understanding can only go so far.

There was another lesson here though.  Yes, a change of laws at the national, state, and local level will probably come. There will also be sensational news stories on the cable news networks as well as social media, but that will give you only so much understanding.  If you want a real understanding of race relations, you need to have conversations with individuals of different races.  Just casual conversations in which everyone is honest and comfortable, not necessarily about race especially as a conversation starter.  I learned the most about race that way.  I also learned because I was listening.  That is where our country can make the most improvement in our race relations.  Not just in the chambers of capitol buildings, but at kitchen tables at home or cafeteria tables at work. 

The value of these conversations works both ways.  On one incident I was working with a woman who was of Dominican descent, and through our conversation she then asked me, “Can I ask you something as white man?” I was shocked that she wanted to know what was in the mindset of white men. Yet it was obvious she was searching for clues. Another lesson learned about the reinforcement of the power of conversations.

The final lesson is that this realization came to me, via a simple act that felt strange and uncomfortable just by reversing my route.  It seems simple to have conversations with individuals of a different race or ethnicity, but it will take you out of your comfort zone if you, like many of us, live in segregated communities, but it is not hard to do.  Just like it was a simple act to reverse my route.  It not only gave me a new perspective but expanded my perspectives.  

It has enriched my life experiences having conversations with people of different races and ethnicities.  I think it will enrich your life too.