The Celebration Toll of COVID-19

(March 2020)

When I saw the posting on the Vacation Races Facebook page, I was still saddened, even though I expected it and knew that it was the right decision.  I had signed up to participate in a 50K race near Zion National Park this summer and my wife, who views my races with about as much excitement as a dental visit, was also excited for this race. We were going to make a vacation out of it. The race was one of the last to be canceled due to social distancing policies being put in place across the country.

One of the reasons I was so excited about this race is because the trail looked beautiful. We would be running on the top of a mesa looking over the southwestern landscape.  I had studied the course and researched what was different about desert running and had trained for the race.  My wife even bought me a Zion National Park calendar for my office to inspire me.  Now for the rest of the year, it will be a reminder of what could have been.  I was looking forward to adding the finisher medal to my collection.

In addition to the Zion Ultra Race, a short 5K was also cancelled and I was disappointed for that one because I was going to do it with my niece.  She had just taken up running and this was going to be her first race.  I was excited to be part of her journey.

While I was disappointed, I only had to look at the world around me to realize that my disappointments were tiny compared to what was going in the world.  COVID-19 was literally a matter of life and death.  People were dying and others were seriously ill. I could sign up for another 5k with my niece at another time and do the Zion race next year, so it was easy to move on, plus, as I told a friend, I don’t need a race to motivate me to run.

While I could reschedule my races and defer the celebration of crossing the finishing line, others were not so fortunate.  I thought of all our students, particularly our high school seniors, who will not be able to enjoy the celebrations of their senior year.  They will miss things like taking a bow at the end of the school play; hitting a home run at a baseball game; having a solo in the band concert; going to the prom; or marching in the graduation ceremony.  Looking back at my time in school, it is the friendships and relationships that I remember best.  While virtual learning may be effective for geometry and history, it is not as good at making those other moments in school as special.

With social distancing in full effect, it was not just one self-absorbed runner and our students missing their celebrations. I had a friend who was going to be honored for her work in the arts at a gala, which was canceled. Wedding receptions have been canceled, as have dinners out for anniversaries and birthdays.  And for families that have suffered a loss, not being able to gather to mourn and celebrate the life of a loved one together must be devastating. 

My family, like others, loves to celebrate the holidays. We missed celebrating Easter, and in fact, the  days blend together so much that I have a hard time remembering the day of the week.  A few weeks ago, I was halfway through my day when I realized it was St. Patrick’s Day.

As I said earlier I don’t need a race to run.  Students don’t need a graduation ceremony to get a degree.  Couples don’t need a reception to get married. Yet we do these ceremonies.

Memories are built when we celebrate the milestones in life with others. Humans are by nature social creators.  We need social contact.  It is no accident that every culture has various annual celebrations and marks life’s milestones such as weddings and births with joyous celebrations.

The need for this is so ingrained that we are already seeing virtual proms, concerts, and weddings. While such celebratory programs must suffice for now, we know this is not enough in the long run.

Throughout this crisis, we have heard grim statistics about the number of people infected, and the number of people who have died. We have also heard of awful economic indicators, such as the unemployment numbers.  But there won’t be a tally for the number of celebrations canceled or the number of laughs and smiles that are lost.  That is a hidden toll of COVID-19. Even those who do not contract the virus are negatively affected.  

For myself, I am eagerly looking forward to signing up for a race, organizing a large family party, and playing volleyball with my friends.  You can sense it among everyone –they are getting by and that is great, but “getting by” is not living and we want to live.

Maybe that is what we need to remind ourselves in order to get through this: The key is to dwell not on the celebrations we have missed, but on the celebrations to come!